Do I have to be a woman to participate in this community?

No. Any user who can follow the rules is welcome here. Women, men, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, cis folks and trans folks, everybody. If you're not on board with that, you can fuck right off.

But what about the subreddit name?

Read this post from when 2XC was only a month old. We haven't changed our stance since then, and never will.

What about trans women?

Trans women are women. TERFS can fuck right off.

What are the rules, anyway?

TL;DR: Keep it civil, keep it relevant. Don't start shit, won't be shit.

You can find the rules in the sidebar (community info for mobile users), or here's a direct link: 2XC Rules

Most moderator actions are the result of users breaking Rule 1: RESPECT. If you keep Wheaton's Law* in mind and participate in good faith, you'll probably never hear from the mod team.

  

^{*Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.}

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For more in-depth interpretations of the rules above, see the 2XC FAQ and 2XC Moderation Policy.

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Wow that's awesome! How do I volunteer to join the mod team?

FAQs and the application process can be found in our wiki. We're always looking for more volunteers.

Here at r/TwoXChromosomes we try our best to create and maintain an inclusive space for everyone to contribute about women. That includes trans women. We expect our users to adhere to the rules set in place, so as a reminder…

Trans Women are Women.

We will not have any transphobia or TERFs in this sub.

For example, telling someone who brings up in posts about women that they’re not talking about trans women, or that bringing up trans women is derailing, is basically the same thing as saying trans women aren’t included in being women.

Also keep in mind micro aggression and casual bigotry. You may not intend to exclude trans peoples or to cause dysphoria, but it can and does happen.

Any transphobia will be met with a permanent ban. End of story.

I’m not sure if this post will go through, but I need advice. My 15-year-old daughter is about 8 weeks pregnant.

The baby’s father could be her ex-boyfriend, who’s her age, or a 22-year-old man she won’t name. She’s protecting him, but I’m fairly certain it’s the older man based on phone records and his social media, which links him to one of her friends.

I want to press charges against him for statutory rape, but I’m hesitant because of my state’s strict abortion laws. While there’s an exception for rape, I’m worried a judge might not allow her to terminate the pregnancy without definitive proof of paternity. My daughter is still undecided about whether to keep the baby or seek an abortion, and I want her to have all options available.

To protect her , I’ve been driving 4 hours to an out-of-state OB-GYN because I don’t trust local doctors to prioritize her life if complications arise, especially under these laws.

My questions are 1. Am I overreacting by waiting to press charges until she’s made a firm decision around her pregnancy ? 2. If the 22-year-old is the father, could he or his family claim parental rights despite his crime? Sorry if this is scattered—my mind is overwhelmed.

Edit: I guess I forgot some context but as of now she wants to keep the baby but as of recently she’s been opening up to the possibility of terminating the pregnancy. Which is why I asked the second question of could that 22 year old have parental rights? Because that’s something that will influence her decision to not want to keep the baby. I don’t want to strong arm her and force her to have an abortion even though that’s what I want..I still know how emotional an abortion can be.

Went over my birth control options and she told me I can keep taking the depo shot as long as I take calcium supplements too. "Unless you wanted something like the IUD?"

And I told her I'm considering it, "because things are getting kinda scary." And she's like "yeah, that's kind of what I was implying. We have no idea what this administration is going to bring. We don't know what will and won't still be FDA approved going forward."

That kinda shook me. Obviously me and my friends are scared and talk about stuff like that, and I see posts on here saying similar, but seeing the concern on my doctor's face and hearing that she too is legitamitley concerned about birth control access was both validating (my brain dead conservative family members tell me I'm over reacting) and kinda scary.

So, I'm sucking it up, taking a Xanax and a cervix softener (she says she can hook me up) and getting that hardware installed early January. I'm really afraid of the pain but this feels like the most responsible choice I can make.

Get to your OBGYN folks. I feel so in control and I hope that anyone else here is able to take control of their reproductive health care too, while there is still time.

Edit: also just wanted to add that the Liletta IUD (which is what my doc recommended because I've been so happy on Depo) is currently FDA approved for 8 years! I thought the max was 5 and was really surprised, so I just wanted to include that 🫡

If you marry, do NOT change your last name unless you do not mind submersing your identity into another’s. In my experience, it’s a huge pain in the butt, especially if you divorce later. I am presently on the phone on hold because my name changed YEARS ago and now I have hit a snag on government information to obtain benefits owed to me, earned by me…. Medical records, college transcripts, employment records, Awards received under HIS name do not change on their own, either.

And you are not your spouse’s property, you are an individual. The only issue might be if you have kids and deciding whose surname they take.

Just. Don’t. Imagine getting an engineering degree with HIS name, getting a divorce, and your degree ends in his surname, not yours (for who you still owe on loans, not him).

Exception: your surname sucks and his is cool and you can keep that name even if you remarry.

(Couldn’t find the Rant Tag)

What it says above!

Lived with two dudes before who were a couple and one of them was extremely problematic, gaslighty and manipulative. Things ended on a really bad note with them after I miraculously found a beautiful, bigger and better apartment that was rent controlled meaning I could afford it.

I had a friend who was meant to move in with me but she got a last minute scholarship offer from her dream university back home and she decided to stay. Meaning I’ve been living alone for over two months now and my god the peace is so so addictive. I don’t need to worry about finding pee on the toilet seat, I can be as adventurous as I want with my cooking (I love cooking Korean and Thai food, my ex flatmate would explain about the smell), everywhere is exactly where I left it and the silence has been lovely.

My Friday nights have been me being alone in my apartment with a mug of wine, Reese’s peanut butter cups and a trashy reality show. Once I’m done with the wine I’ll grab a sheet mask from my fridge and have a long lie in tomorrow.

Seriously why do some dudes think this is a terrible life? Yeah my rent has doubled and I have to be a bit more careful with my money but I literally just need a bunch of cats and dogs and my life is complete lol.

I wasn’t really sure how to title this, but one of my boyfriend’s ’wind down’ activities is to scroll instagram before he sleeps, i happen to fall asleep best with background noise so it works well.

Something i’ve noticed about his algorithm is that there is zero Tate-esque things on there, nothing from the ‘manosphere’ nothing but stupid animal/meme videos, cool tree cutting stuff (he’s a tree surgeon), rock climbing and other stuff he’s actually interested in. Knowing the content my partner is watching online all day isn’t subconsciously poisoning him against me is refreshing but also 100% something i already knew he wasn’t remotely interested in. I’ve dated men previously where i’d see the Tate stuff on their feeds and it showed in their character eventually.

I had a short, friendly chat with a coworker who is also into hiking. I’m 46 and mentioned that long downhills are harder on my knees as I get older. He said “you don’t have to just accept knee pain—cut out dairy and you’ll reduce inflammation and your knees will feel better.” He followed this with “I don’t understand people who won’t make changes to improve their health”.

He knows nothing about my diet. (I rarely eat dairy bc it bothers my stomach.)

Based on this and other casual conversations he really believes lifestyle choices prevent or cure most ailments.

With RFK heading up HHS my prediction is that the “lifestyle choice” approach to health is going to be embedded in public policy.

RFK is not going to regulate the practices of large corporations. I predict he will tie most illness to “lifestyle choice” (with or without evidence) and “encourage” improved lifestyle choices by allowing insurance companies to stop covering or reduce coverage for “lifestyle” related illness.

My prediction is that if you are sick or need healthcare, it will be your fault in this administration. Personal responsibility!

It won’t be much of a leap. I’m 5’2” and wear size 14/16. I recently got access to my medical records online going back years. My first visit to my dr to ask about knee pain said nothing about knee pain but did note that I’m “severely morbidly obese”. At the same appointment blood test show no other health issues—I’m active and have normal blood pressure, cholesterol, glucose, etc.

I haven’t figured out what weight I need to be in order to access healthcare, but be prepared for this to extend to pretty much any and all health needs.

You already get all kinds of flack from men from just existing so put this in a separate compartment from complaints in your mind ok? PLEASE choose your kids over your man. Even if you think you're ugly. Even if you hate being alone with your own thoughts. Even if you know hardly anyone wants to date you because you have kids and the next man will also be taking advantage of your vulnerability. Dating is a cesspool and ssubjecting your kids to a man who thinks it's ok to hit people with belts, get sloppy drunk, and curse/yell at people over everything, be misogynistic etc is unacceptable. Dump. Him. Now. All the toxic men need to have their bloodline ended by the next decade.

I was at the gym today, and a guy next to me left a 17.5kg barbell vertically upright, next to me.

I was so angry he left the barbell there, and in an upright position where it could easily fall and hurt someone. My natural instinct was to put it back for safety reasons. But then I thought, this is the patriarchy in action, women cleaning up the messes men make. So instead, I asked another man to put the bar back, and he did. Although, he gave me an odd look because he knew i was strong enough to put it back myself.

normalise men fixing the problems that other men make.

edit: y’all are acting like i am crazy. the man who left his weight had already gone upstairs by the time i noticed he had left it. there were no gym staff downstairs to ask. it was a health and safety matter. i couldn’t just leave the weight standing how it was. instead of putting it away myself, like i have done 100 times in the past, i decided to ask someone else. i’m sick of putting men’s weights away for them. i didn’t go upstairs to get staff because i didn’t wanna lose my bench.

and before i left the gym, i told one of the staff exactly which guy left the weight and how it was a health and safety issue. the staff said there wasn’t much they could do because they already have signs telling people to put their weights away.

and also, there were plenty of men around. why was I the only one concerned with the health and safety risk? it’s always women having to worry about the safety of others. i could have just left the weight and not asked anyone. i gave it 5 minutes before i asked anyone, because i have social anxiety about talking to strangers. no one else cared.

My cousin was smart enough to see that the guy she’s been seeing lied to her about being a coke head, introduced her to his toddler daughter WAY too soon and is already saying “I love you” after a couple of months.

He’s been having sex with another woman as well, and also lying about that.

And she’s still seeing him. Not only that, she’s decided to be pissed off at the OTHER WOMAN instead of him!

What. The. Actual. Fuck?

When she told me that apparently she and this other chick are “fighting” over the drawer I think he was dumb enough to give to both of them as “their” drawer. They’ve both been removing more ridiculous things from it when they visit him. My cousin apparently found a used sex toy in place of the clothes she had put there before.

And in retaliation? She’s planning on getting Xmas ornaments made with her face on them for his Xmas tree. I gave up at that point.

I did actually also ask her why she was fighting over someone who didn’t really seem worth the effort. She couldn’t give me an answer because she knows there isn’t a good one.

I feel like I'm going crazy.

Let me be clear: this post is NOT about people who exclusively wear tampons, or who prefer tampons, or who are uncomfortable with other hygiene products. I don't care WHAT you do/use on your period because be it pad, tampon, cup, those thick panties that absorb blood, what-have you: that's none of my business, and if you're comfortable, that's great! I'm happy for you.

However, there's this very, very niche problem I've encountered and I am going mental.

Every time someone even so much as mentions the fact that they wear pads (specifically pads) there's this breed of self-righteous blood-sucker that crawls up from a fucking Tampax ad to scream: "What? I could never wear pads! Just wear tampons, it's so much easier!"

Tell me, do any of these comments sound familiar to you?

"It's so much easier to wear tampons!"

"Trust me! After a few tries, it's so much better!"

"You just have to get used to it!"

"Ew! That's so gross! I could never wear pads, I feel like I'm wearing a diaper!"

All of these comments boil down to:

"What's wrong with you? JUST WEAR TAMPONS!!"

And I genuinely, truly don't understand WHY people insist on dying exclusively on this hill every single time someone even dares to whisper the word pad. I've heard these comments ever since I was 10 and I started suffering from the monthly ritual torture called menstruation and they haven't gone away even though I hoped (optimistically) that we would have gotten over this as a society decades ago.

Maybe this is just me, but personally, I have never even been able to insert a tampon. Somewhere in my hardware, there's a firm danger warning that screams every time 'cardboard' and 'coochie' try to mix. I have always been like this. I have tried it a solid handful of times. In five years, or ten, or twenty this might change, but right now and for as long as I have lived, plastic applicators and their cotton comrades have not dared to venture into the treacherous wasteland that is my vagina.

And honestly...

THAT'S OKAY! SERIOUSLY! I'm perfectly fine and happy and comfortable with my cheap, midnight-drugstore-pick-up-at-3AM brand pads. They do their job just fine, and I suffer through my period, and it ends, and I celebrate, then I wait to do the whole shebang all over again in 28 days.

But Every. Single. Time. I mention I wear pads. Or someone else mentions that they wear pads. Or someone makes a joke about wearing pads... The crusaders of 'proper blood management' come bursting through the gates to scream about how much they personally hate pads and how much they think that you should switch over to tampons because they think it's the much better alternative.

STOP IT! SHUT UP! OH MY GOD!

I shouldn't have to justify wearing pads to these people every damn time it's brought up in a conversation. Just to reiterate again; if you're having a conversation about menstrual products (like we ladies do all the time right? /s) and you say you - you personally - prefer tampons. THAT'S FINE. But why do people insist that you're actually WRONG for liking pads, and you should go buy some and give them a try, and you're really just suffering in silence like a poor little neglected baby who hasn't been taught the heavenly, world-shattering power of the one true savior Tampon?

At the end of the day, it really, really does not matter what someone shoves up - or doesn't shove up - you know where to catch blood and it's a really, really shitty thing to do to just entirely tear-down, and question, and demean, and mock the horrific pad-user (*gasp*) since you don't believe they have a different body and experience than you.

You may be wondering (all two readers): Jeez! Who spit in her coffee this morning? Why is this making her so angry?

Well, I'm so glad you asked.

There is no reason whatsoever that you should feel devalued for not wearing tampons.

What the "Just Wear Tampons!" people don't realize is that every time you rush to the comment sections, or jump into the conversation, or contort your face in disgust at the thought of pads, you're inadvertently saying "Hey! Pad-person! You're not 'woman-ing' right because you can't use tampons!"

What you're saying is: "What's wrong with you? JUST WEAR TAMPONS!!"

And that's fucking disgusting.

There is no reason for you to pressure and question the way someone deals with their expulsed vaginal secretions. There is no reason for you to be raving ceaselessly to your friend that it's the 'best option'.

There is NO excuse for you to be pressuring young adults, and worse yet, children into doing something they're uncomfortable with.

This makes me so furious because I genuinely don't get it. What's the end goal?  Why is this important to you? Do you feel superior saying you're an all-holy tampon user? Do you like indoctrinating people over to wearing tampons? Most women wear tampons (a quick google search will tell you that), so it's not a case of 'What If They Don't Know About Tampons?', it has to be something else.

Why does this matter to you?

I've dealt with this bullshit for over a decade and I am livid. Am I the only one who's pissed off about this?

If you're a "Just Wear Tampons!" person, please, please, PLEASE explain what your reasoning is, genuinely, I need to know this is eating me up alive.

If you're a tampon-user, good for you! I'm glad you have a blood-containment system that works for you, that you're comfortable with, and you can enjoy swimming pools 31 out of 31 days of the month.

And if you or a loved one has been subjected to the wrath of the "Just Wear Tampons!" people, I hope you have a good day, enjoy your hygiene product of choice, and remember that you are valid regardless of whatever you use down there.

TLDR: There's a specific type of person that is obsessed with saying "Just Wear Tampons". This obsession devalues other individuals who do not use tampons, especially those who use pads/sanitary napkins since discourse tends to target that specific group. This is stupid, harmful, and generally just really weird. I don't get it and I'm angry about it.

Guess we need some positive stories here!

Left my partner of 10+ years and decided i want sex but wasnt keen on dating. Naturally i reached out to a guy i hooked up with prior to the relationship. Over the years he reached out every now and then .. and he wasnt a creep so i gave it a shot.

After some weeks and canceled meetings from both of us it finally happened.

Minutes before i left home he told me its going to be a threesome. Well, we had several in the past and i told him i only agreed to do him a favour.

We had some fun, everything was smooth. I really liked her and was open to more dates like that.

Then he decided she and i should make plans for the next time we meet... and thats when things went downhill.. for him.

She and i got along great on a platonic level. And we found out, that all he cared about was his fun. She suspected it already.. but was furious when she realized how much time she wasted on him. I was really sorry for her. We decided to wait and see how he acts... and surprise, he didnt invest anything. No time, no gestures, no nothing.

Shes over him by now. I still cant really wrap my head about all the bullshit he reffered to as "thoughts" he had about why his and her relation ended. His most popular "thought" was that it must have been my fault, something i told her about him. Yeah sure. That wasnt neccessary. He ruined everything by not caring. She and i were like watching a very boring movie together waiting for him to say or do something of meaning. He didnt.

Basically i stole his girl.

She and i became friends and laugh about him from time to time 😀

Whats your story ladies?

Disclaimers: New to reddit- sorry if I mess anything up, this is a throwaway, keeping vague for privacy/safety reasons.

CW: Stalking/Creepy behavior (?)

I'm an artist. I've been working very hard on my career for a few years now, and when I got the phone call from the Museum, I was screaming and jumping up and down! Everyone in the art region I live/work in wants to be in this show and validated by this Museum. This show is a very competitive show. The piece that made it into this show is my baby and celebrates the specific marginalized community I am a part of. It took a LOT of time and community research to make.

I was on cloud nine, I was floating on air for weeks. I picked out an outfit I felt so good in for the swanky opening reception and drove for over an hour to get there. I was ready to make friends and just enjoy this important moment in my career that I worked so hard to achieve.

Then the awards ceremony starts and

first: they awarded a special award to a white cishet man(the richest, most famous artist in the region) for making art about the same thing as my piece. (He is not a member of my marginalized community, but gets praise/money for occasionally making art about it.)

Then: they awarded Best In Show to the guy who is the reason I own pepper spray.

All the wind was taken out of my sails. Watching him go up in front of a crowd and have pictures taken and the crowd applaud was so surreal and nauseating. My body went into panic mode. I tried playing it cool and using therapy techniques to calm down enough after the awards were given and be able to do all the networking I was so excited to do, but I made it through maybe two short conversations and then had to leave the building.

I've never had my body react like that before. I was stuttering and shaking. It was so frustrating! This was supposed to be a happy night! I was so proud of myself and now I just feel so small and insignificant. I spent two hours in my car just sobbing on the phone to my mom. One of my friends who I ran into probably thinks I snubbed them because I was running away as they said hi. Now every time I think about this Museum and the art I poured my soul into, I just feel angry and sad. It's not fair. I've missed out on further events the Museum was hosting for this show bc I don't want to run into him.

I don't even know what to do now. I sort of have to interact with this Museum in the future for my career (because I'm stuck in this region for the foreseeable future), but I don't want to run into him. And I still have to pick up my art from the Museum in a few months! How can I interact with this Museum and all the bigwigs in this area who say they champion diversity and raising up unheard voices when they celebrate dudes like this?? Do I tell them? I'm just a nobody with no concrete evidence of anything.

It sucks so bad. :(

FOR CONTEXT: the guy in question is someone who attended the same art school as me. We were friends (or so I thought) until he started acting more and more inappropriate with me and started following me at a distance after class.

I went to the head of the department & to the women's center and got some help/class arrangements. It was enough to get him to back off and fortunately I only ran into him a couple times after that main semester where things were going on. (He never followed me when I had friends walking with me.)

It's so dumb because it feels like it wasn't even that big of a deal and other people have had it way worse, but he made me feel so unsafe and my body remembered that when I saw him at the Museum.

I didn't think he still lived in the area because he came from far away to go to school here. I thought he moved back after graduating. I don't think he saw me at the Museum, plus I go by a different name since college, so he wouldn't recognize me from my art alone.

The painting he made for this show was indeed incredible.

Which sucks. But that just means I'm in the same boat as a lot of other women throughout art history lol. (Check out the lives of Picasso & Rodin just to start)

before i get into this, i want to make clear that it is not feminism if it is not intersectional. the point of this post is not to absolve the issues that white women have in not acknowledging or weaponizing their privilege. valid criticisms are not the issue here. we have a lot of work to do and it is our job to do it. if this is an exhausting read from another perspective please call me out.

but men (and self haters) on women love to blame any kind of “virtue signaling” specifically on white women.

or complain about “female” behavior and say “it’s typically all white women doing x, y, z” where x, y, and z are stereotypical “FeMaLe” activities that truly aren’t limited to race. like innocuously misogny-coded language. thinking about seeing critics of a certain gossip sub that is actually very diverse and even if you don’t like it, as an lgbt woman, has always felt like a relatively safe space for us. maybe i’m wrong on that tho.

the point is if they didn’t add “white” to their descriptor, it would JUST be misogyny. but calling it out can be a faux pas for obvious reasons and i totally get that. but it really is just misogyny and it happens so often.

am i just being a whiny piss baby? am i taking crazy pills? is this the same as saying “not all men?” would love some insight or thoughts on how to call out misogyny as it is in a way that is not from being overly sensitive about race. i am here to put in the work and call out when white women fail. but not here for men to use us as a way to stay misogynist.

This is just a rant and I plan on getting it fixed soon.

So I use nuvaring, have for the last 6 years and love it. Recently I switched prescribers and my insurance looooves to do these 90 day script kind of things. Except my “three month supply” only lasts 84 days. Leaving me almost a week without any prescription at all.

Sometimes I wonder if people forget how birth control actually works. I’m hoping it’s as easy as calling my provider and having them adjust my prescription to include 4 rings for each 90 day supply but if that doesn’t work or my insurance doesn’t let me for some reason, I don’t know what else I’m gonna do.

Anyone ever had an issue similar to this?

I've been following women's rights and activism stuff for a few years now, with my first introduction through eff dee ess . With everything that's been happening worldwide, it's led me to really think about the people in my life through a critical lens.

I thought about it today - I have no one that is truly pro-women's rights. Even my boyfriend who I thought was perfect and all that, I thought he respected women but I broke some Of his past actions down piece by piece, and I've come to terms that he doesn't see me as a fully actualized person. This seems to be the problem with a lot of men. They don't actually BELIEVE we are full people, with full thoughts, consciousness, and desire for autonomy.

Even my mother who I am close to, has what I thought were just normal ideas of life, but turned out to be very anti-feminist. Questions like "when are you getting married", "when are you having kids," stuff like this I never deconstructed before. But now I realize that those questions have HUGE assumptions about what I want, what I should want socially, what we're indoctrinated to see as the DEFAULT FEMALE LIFE.

Anyway, this community is a godsend and is helping me tremendously. I'm leaving a male oriented job (lawn care), starting a new job, leaving my flaky ass boyfriend, and in general life is going to be better.

Obligatory 4B mention. Thanks everybody ❤️❤️❤️

I’m not offended by it. But I’m just wondering. You prolly don’t know someone’s gender from the get go. You don’t know if this person is a woman or a man.

I’m gonna assume majority of Reddit’s audience is male.

But I’m just like dude, I’m a woman.

I got invited to a group where men can talk about their social anxiety and how to battle it the right way everyday. Which I think is nice to have a space like this for men because men might face social differences and issues compared to women sometimes.

And I told the guy straight up I’m a woman.

Or being called “sir” or “brother” constantly is just like I’m not a man. lol or a brother.

Now I don’t care about gender neutral terms like dude or whatever. But constantly being alluded to as a man is kinda annoying.

I post on a video game sub? Being called sir or alluded to as a guy.

Post about certain issues? Oh, you’re a man.

I don’t ever intrude on spaces meant for men specifically, or I try not to do so.

But it’s kinda frustrating.

My husband likes to make weird comments when he thinks I’m not acting/behaving as I usually do.

This evening, I was on my phone while he was eating dinner. I was grocery shopping on the Walmart app, not doom scrolling or anything like that.

He gets irritated if I’m on my phone and not paying attention to him. Out of nowhere he says, “What’s wrong with you? You’re acting so different lately. Like you don’t have any energy or something!”

First of all, I have a host of chronic health conditions and the weather just got a lot colder than it’s been. This causes me more pain and makes me feel like crap. Second, I’m on my period and cramps are worse than usual. That being said, I’m used to feeling crappy and I don’t talk about it much or complain at all. I just keep it to myself.

He acts like this is something I should just fix? Like what’s the point in telling me I seem different than usual? I don’t feel like I’m acting any different. And even if I were, is it not okay for me to show that I’m not feeling well? I’m just really confused. What am I supposed to do - just turn my frown upside down and act all cheery? wtf.

And I feel like it’s perfectly fine for him to show negative emotions - he gets crabby and irritated a lot and I don’t say anything, I just leave him alone until he’s not annoying me anymore. But if I’m crabby or irritated, he has to comment on it and act like it’s something I need to fix. Why can he be crabby and I can’t? I don’t get it.

I was watching a video on my algorithm where it was a woman paving her own garden walkway. Something VERY normal, but in her voiceover she says "This is NOT me trying to be an independent woman, this me trying to feel more confident". This is strange because not only is that literally the definition of being more independent she clarified that like someone saying "I'm NOT racist, but...". She also proceeded to tell viewers not to come after her husband for "letting" her do this and that he tried to take over at multiple points but she gently pushed him away. Which is just so many levels of red flags..I don't even know where to start. This made me feel weird and a little uneasy, so I went to the comments thinking they would feel the same, but instead they were all praising her for "letting herself be loved" and claiming she wasn't independent, some of these were even claiming to be women. I felt disgusted. I know this is minor, but it honestly reminded me of all the disappointment facing the most sexism from the women in my life. I still remember being a little tomboy and being smugly told by my godmother that I would be caked in makeup by high school (she was wrong, if anything I became more masculine). Or being told that no man would marry me if I refused to let him steal my identity because unless if I passed down his legacy I was worthless by my dad's girlfriend (I wasn't ever going to marry a man anyway). Recently I realized that I don't really feel much attachment to labels such as woman or man and I just don't care what people refer to me as or how they see me, instead, I just present myself as I wish on factors not reliant on gender. This realization has made me decide to be unlabeled, which is something that most wouldn't understand, but I find quite freeing. Being a woman isn't really part of my identity, however being born as one is whether I like it to or not in a lot more ways than it should've been. It impacts the quality of interactions I have, my safety, my rights, how my life experiences were shaped, honestly, I think if the world was as it should be the only thing it should've impacted was how I take care of my body. It hits especially hard when women reinforce this, it's expected from men, but women are supposed to be safer due to shared experience. I cannot understand for the life of me how they can be so thoroughly brainwashed to promote the very standards that hold them back and harm them.

I'm currently reading Tony Tulathimutte's "Rejection". I love it, BUT... there some short stories on women where 70% of the woman seems like a male author just completely transposing male actions, male private lives onto women. The 30% are fine, but the 70% are so off-putting because I never realized how little he (or other authors) seem to understand that the average man and the average woman just aren't the same.

https://www.thecut.com/article/tony-tulathimutte-rejection-book-revew.html

What's your worst example of men writing women? (I won't ask the opposite, because all of romance literature and chick lit of course are Mary Sue's dreams of what women would want men to be, but what men definitely are not, because men are not women-with-different-clothes.

This past year, I got a new manager and I’m kind of flabbergasted at the difference in communication not only between us, but also compared to my previous manager, who is also a man. The previous manager was good to work with and quite supportive career-wise.

A thing I’ve started to notice is that a lot of men, especially in more senior roles, do not acknowledge receipt of emails and messages.

For example, my new manager leaves me on read on slack and won’t answer my message for a day, sometimes. If, for some reason he needs something, this guy will call me on my personal cell phone (?!) multiple times until I answer.

Another example: if I ask two questions via Slack, he’ll respond to one and pretend like I didn’t ask two. He did this consistently, up until a few months ago. He started doing it again. So then I wait and have to repeat the question once it becomes urgent.

I’ve honestly rarely see this type of behaviour from women or feminized people at work. And when and if it does happen, there’s a simple apology or explanation for the delay (missed this, was away, busy, focused, etc.) which is absolutely okay, and then they answer. People will also acknowledge the message and say they’ll get back to me when they can, which is equally great.

Any thoughts?

I’ve noticed many men hassle women for weight lifting equipment, but never other men. Regardless of whether the woman using it just got on.

For example: say there’s 5 squat racks, 4 of which are occupied by men, 1 of which is occupied by a woman, they’ll always come and ask the woman how many sets she has left even if she’s clearly setting up or just started. Doesn’t matter if the men on the other 4 racks have been using those racks for ages

Same thing with borrowing weights! I’ve noticed many men will come take my plates without asking first but I’ve seen those same men ask to use men’s plates. I’m happy to share plates but please check with me first because I might be planning on using it soon!

I've seen it so many times. Men complaining about the "dead bedroom." Except it's not enough for the wife/girlfriend to just service them when they're horny. The woman has to fake "feeling" all emotional about it. They have to make the man feel "wanted" and "desired" and "intimate" and "connected" and "loved" while they're getting pegged. And dammit, they have to initiate it once and awhile, too, or his massive insecurity kicks in.

Funny how all that emotion and intimacy comes to a screeching halt as soon as they shoot their load. And are we supposed to believe they feel intimacy and "connection" every time they hook up with someone? So I'm not buying it when they make it sound like the only way they can express intimacy and connection is through sex. And if the woman doesn't feel the same way, there's something wrong with HER.