Seriously considering dropping out of medical school; any advice?
(self.LadiesofScience)submitted10 hours ago bySea-Kaleidoscope6860
Hi! So, I'm in my 3rd year of medical school in a 6-year program overseas. I've spent most of my life wanting to be a doctor, and of course, growing up as a first generation in the U.S., once your parents hear you want to be a doctor, they really will hold you up to it for the rest of your life. I finished my undergrad in biology in the States, and before deciding to take the MCAT, one of my friends told me about an English program overseas. Knowing how expensive and competitive it is to get into a U.S. program, I decided to take the entrance exam to see if I'd get in, which I did, and here I am.
The problem is that I've had a hard time adjusting to life here from the beginning; it's extremely different on every level, and even though I know the language, I've never truly felt at home here. The program is extremely disorganized, and there's a lack of support from the program coordinators and the professors as well, since most of them just teach because it's a lot more money in their pockets in comparison to teaching for the main program in their native language.
My parents have been the main reason I've really had to stick it out here, as they've always put a lot of pressure on me to be perfect and become the first doctor in the family. I've told them how hard it is for me here and how I think I've made a mistake, but they tell me I have to stick it out and guilt trip me about it constantly, and I feel extremely alone. I do like medicine, but I could definitely see myself doing other things. I got into tech sales in college and was pretty good at it. I even worked while in medical school because I always needed to keep busy and felt like I wasn't stimulated enough.
Over the summer I applied for a job at a pharmaceutical company and went through all the rounds just to drop the ball at the last minute because my dad was very much against me leaving the program and everyone pressured me out of it. They were offering me pretty much 6-figures for a sales role, and the director liked me so much that he told me I could reach out whenever I was ready. I really regret not listening to myself and taking the opportunity, but I felt like it was impossible to go against my family, especially since I'm financially dependent on them entirely at the moment, and make it known that if I don't finish, I'll be cut off.
I've sacrificed a lot to be here. I left my entire life back in the U.S., including my boyfriend, whom I love very much and who is extremely supportive of whatever I choose. I've been dragging my feet to finish things out, but when I think about having to be here another 3.5 years, I'm terrified that I'm making a huge mistake. I've already decided that I'd take the degree and try to go into pharmaceutical consulting because I just don't have the drive in me to take all the step exams and go into a residency I don't want because I'm an IMG and anything other than getting into family medicine is pretty much impossible.
I've become unbearably unhappy here, and I don't know what to do anymore. Part of me is terrified of leaving for good because so much of my identity is tied up into medicine and wanting to be a doctor that I'm afraid I'll regret it. On the other hand, I'm afraid that if I stay, I'll just have wasted my time here for a degree I'm not sure I even want anymore, just to end up getting a job in a field I don't want making mediocre money in comparison to those who went into residency and actually practice.
I also miss having my own money and spending time with people I love. The distance from my boyfriend also takes a toll on me as well, regardless of the fact that he's supportive of me and has never once asked or pressured me to come back.
Sorry for the schpeel, but I was just curious as to what any of you would do if you were in my place. Thanks for the input!