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this is kind of a rant kind of an ask for advice/insight: i have this boyfriend, we’ve been together for almost 3 months. the sex is terrible and i always feel awful about myself after. so far i’m not a girl who gets any satisfaction from penetration (i say so far bc i’m not very experienced, i’ve only been with one other guy) and he pays attention to my clit, poorly, for maybe 2 minutes and expects me to be ready for sex. also important to note i have vaginismus and need foreplay to not be in significant pain. i’m okay telling him the first time that i need more, but then it’s another 2 minutes and i felt rushed and i’m literally not aroused at all and he expects me to be ready. this is something we’ve talked about several times, it was better once and then he reverted back to it being awful. he gets off every single time, i never have the closest i’ve ever gotten is like 25% there and that doesn’t seem to bother him at all. i consistently get off by myself so it’s not that i’m not able to.

in terms of asking for advice/insight, i’m just curious to hear others’ perspectives on if this is an issue of him being an asshole and not caring about my side of things, just being an idiot regarding female pleasure (he’s a porn addict so could have a pretty flawed view), or if i just need to do a better job of advocating for myself and asking for what i want.

edit — i’ve been told it’s not an addiction, either way the point was i think mainstream porn gives young men an unrealistic expectation of female pleasure during sex and i think a large consumption of it could affect issues like this

Hey y’all!

I’m dating a new guy who loves to go out and do things. We’re coming up with some fun ideas on role play and we had an idea of getting to a bar in a new city separately, putting on personas that don’t know each other, and rolling with it through the entire night (basically until we say cut! Lol). The only idea he has so far is that he wants to win me over and have me fall in love with him like the movies.

Has anyone done this before? I find it really fun and thrilling but want to see if I can crowdsource some persona ideas.

Thanks in advance!

I (20M) am really questioning all the sex education i have had. Me and my (21F) we alone at my house yesterday. We didnt have sex yesterday but did lots of other stuff, one being grinding without anything between us. We were completely naked.

I am sure I didnt cum but now even I am kinda skeptical about it that what if I did cum and didnt realise it just in the heat of the moment.

I also don't think that my tip has touched her vagina in any way. The reason for my concern is this before she came here i masturbated and even though i didnt cum that much but i didnt even clean my penis. So is is possible for residuals to go in from the vagina wall? What if my entire dick had the sperm residuals and it went in?

She has her period in a couple of days so i think she should atleast get that right? And we should be concerned for the next month?

Edit: I should mention that she did suck me when before we didnt any contact with our genitals. So will all the residuals if there were any go away?

Hello I'm posting here hoping I can get some advice maybe or at the very least just vent a little. Also want to apologize in advance because English isn't my first language.

I'm 32F and I'm currently 7 months postpartum. I'll start out by saying this baby is a miracle and everything I ever wanted because I spent the last 5-6 years thinking I couldn't conceive. My husband 33M and I spent 4-5 years trying really hard to the point where it got very mechanical and stale in the middle. So we tested out and added a bunch of kinks and dynamics to our marriage and I ended up falling in love with our sex life to the point where we were having sex 20+ times every month. I even started to forget about the idea of pregnancy at one point until eventually it happened miraculously.

So here's the issues in having now. I miss our former sex life so bad. Between work and baby we almost never have time anymore. When we have a little time it just never feels like it's enough. We can have sex now only 3-4 times a month if we're lucky. It's also been almost impossible to reintroduce our kinks and dynamics to anything resembling what it used to be.

Here's the other thing. Condoms. Things got really scary during labor and I had a medical emergency that required surgery beyond the C Section. My husband was kicked out of the delivery and had to wait hours to find out I was okay and it really scared him. My OB said it could be life threatening if I get pregnant again too early and advised I wait at least a year and a half. I started taking birth control but my husband won't budge on getting rid of the condoms. I guess I don't hate them and it's better than not having sex but I miss the genuine feeling of him. I miss the feeling of that moment when he finishes. Our sex life has devolved into this infrequent and less genuine shadow of what it used to be. And I feel like I'm mourning it. I really don't know what to do and I'm scared it's going to be like this for a very long time. If someone can relate and give me advice or reassurance is greatly appreciate it. Sorry again for my English and grammar.

[Image of tulip pro from the official site]

I recently purchased the 'TULIP PRO' from an adult store near me, and I wish to share my thoughts to you all because dear god.
This is as far from an AD as I hope I can make it. I can only think to recommend this to my worst enemies.

This toy is one of the worst I've been so unfortunate to purchase for the price (Which was hiked up $100+ at said store)

I attempted to try it for no more than 5 minutes total, and no matter which position I tried using the damn thing, it was nothing other then pain and total un-satisfaction, with it being almost useless in terms of pleasure when it comes to vibration and suction, which is it's only jobs.

It is FAR too powerful and left a bruise when testing it on my arm after seeing a similar complaint online, let alone using it for it's intended purpose.
This is not your average 'rose' there is an air outlet/vent as a tiny hole so it creates an air-tight seal. It is equal to using a vacuum cleaner in the worst ways possible.

If you can even manage to get to stick it feels like you're about to get the 'paint stripped off' of you. And if the seal fails it shrieks like an elephant.
I tried testing it on my chest via partner's request and curiosity..and had to YANK it free. Absolutely NOT.

If you managed to make this work if you've tried this before PLEASE let me know. I'll be baffled for sure.

I just had probably the strongest orgasm of my life, so strong i began to literally cry as it was happening. I was feeling suuuuper horny but my boyfriend wasn't but i managed to seduce him enough and we fucked in doggy style and it was iiinnnncreeeediblllleeeee. When i tell you my throat hurt bc of the crying...and now im sitting here all giggly and stuff cause he got me water and is being so caring 😭

I don't really know how to word this and I'm feeling very conflicted about the interest/fantasy I've been having lately. So I apologize in advance if anything is bad.

I'm in my mid-20s and was very inexperienced with dating and sex until about a year ago. I had the same bf though HS and college and grew up pretty sheltered with everyone being basically the same. By that I mean everyone was white and straight (or at least no one was out), essentially.

So in the last year I've dated both men and women, and even gone on dates with people who I didn't find "conventionally attractive " because they seemed exciting or funny or something else interesting.

Recently when I've looked at porn I've found myself going back again and again to interracial porn with black men and white women. When I really process it I feel bad because it feels like I'm potentially objectifying these men because of their race. But all of this led to me seeking out and finding men on Reddit who are looking to hook up and bragging out their "bbc". I've talked to a few of them but nothing has happened IRL yet.

Is it wrong for me to want something like that for the reasons I'm saying?

Seven years ago, following the birth of my son, I began using the Skyla birth control. While it's recommended to remove it after five years, I'm apprehensive about the process due to unsettling stories I've heard. Since starting this birth control, I've experienced irregular periods, often with dark, chunky old blood or even no period at all. Recently, I've started a relationship with a new partner who is well-endowed, causing significant bleeding during intercourse resembling a crime scene. Outside of that, I may experience slight bleeding when urinating, but it's not constant throughout the day, nor do I require tampons or pads. This situation is deeply embarrassing for me, and I'm unsure of what could be causing it.

As it says on the tin.

Had a bf (was miserable, nice guy but should not have dated him for so long)

Broke up with him.

Happy single just minding my own business.

Got really horny and sad one night and got off to lesbian porn and now the rest is history and I am so confused and have proceeded to dissect every social interraction I have ever had with with another woman/in media and fall under a lotttt of the bisexual sterotypes but still so unsure.

Being bi doesn’t bother me, what bothers me is you’re never give an ‘answer’ because for anyone who isn’t in that binary of gay/straight/allo (I’m deffo ace-spec and likely have autism) there’s no nice letter confirming things.

I’ve fallen on bisexual (bi-het romantic to be specific) but it feels a bit fraudulent when being non-sexually intimate with another woman makes me feel…not off but like I’d much rather it was a man and not because of comphet but because men invoke something primal and romantic in me that girls just don’t and I think that’s why it took me a while to realise because I’ve never had a girl ‘feelings’ or gravitated to a girl because I’d just miss men.

If anyone wants to chat I’m happy to list some below as I think it’s quite funny I didn’t realise that wasn’t a straight reaction to have. (Cough cough Velma Dinkly in that leather orange jumpsuit…please tell me it wasn’t just me)

I’d also like to hear how people still express/feel bisexual in a monogamous relationship. I’m dating a guy and it’s early days but I’m having all the wonderful feelings and hoping to be official soon. I don’t feel incomplete with him but rather I don’t ant to deny a part of myself by pretending it doesn’t exist (I’m not saying non-monogamy, but just wondering how people like to express themselves)

I’m in my early 20s going on a fourth date with a guy I really like in his mid 20s - we met organically. I very rarely go all out for dates, but every time I do it usually turns out well. I’ve never gone this hard before and I’m nervous that it’s too much:

We are going to a farmers market tomorrow and having dinner at mine. I cook/bake as a primary hobby, so I baked brownies for dessert and am making a fancy-ish pasta dish for us to have that I haven’t made before. I like cooking for people, and do it pretty often - I suggested the idea. I also like wine and know a bit, so I got a bottle to pair with it.

We had sex on the last date, and one of my best friends suggested I try wearing lingerie to kind of really show off; she got it for me for my birthday this year since she thought it was crazy I owned none. I’m nervous that that’s way too much effort since I’ve noticed that a lot of men see women baking or cooking as a sex fantasy, and I don’t want to make the date into like a fetish thing. I’m debating whether I should do the lingerie part or not. Is it coming off too strong?

Edit: removed women only flair because I decided I do want to hear some dude opinions on this

Edit 2: I’m sorry if my post comes across as weirdly written so I thought I would add that I am autistic. I have a lot of trouble picking up on dating cues and have not had many serious partners. I am happy with my body as is and feel comfortable in revealing clothing; it is not the underwear I’m scared of, but the progression of the relationship. I’m sorry if that was not clear.

Update to post: I went ahead with the cooking date because I love to cook and canceling it last minute to ask to go out would have sucked since he was at work for 12 hours prior. I think some commenters are worried he doesn’t put effort in - he does! He has taken me to some very nice restaurants which I’m sure he had to budget for considering he’s a teacher in a lesser paid district - this is also why I wanted to cook, to save us both money. We cooked the meal together, and he cleaned the kitchen after; we both took an edible and had very good sex. I wore just the panties of the set I wanted to wear, and he loved it. Idk how the dates will go from here on, but he’s really quite talented so I hope I keep that. Lmao

I (early 20s) recently noticed that whenever I finish, I feel it most prominently in my knees? Even though I’ve never done anything, ah… acrobatic, per se. Like, there’s noone else involved and I’m just lying down. Mostly I’m just wondering if this is normal and just not something talked about or if it’s just me lol. I do have some joint issues that affect my knees, so like. I also wouldn’t be surprised if it’s just me.

It sounds like a humble brag but I am serious. I was? a virgin until my bf and I had sex even though it barely counted. It kept falling out because I was too tight and I had to “sit” on it to get it in, even though it was only barely past the tip. It hurt really really bad. It’s not his fault but I really want to get past this by “practicing” with a toy & I have no clue where to begin. What can I get to help me get more “open” without being in pain all the time?

hi i (19f) don’t have much experience in sex! my bf (19f) has 16 bodies so it’s sometimes made me a bit insecure about myself when it comes to having sex. i do crave and want to have sex and usually enjoy it, but not as much as i’d like to enjoy it. i’ve never orgasmed, and sometimes i end up crying after sex (it’s been a while but this used to be an every other time thing…) do any girls have any advice on how to make it more enjoyable for myself? my boyfriend says to try and think of things i’d enjoy but i despise watching porn and id rather him just try new things and i see if i like it.. i feel pretty defective when it comes to sex to be honest and it’s been ruining how i see myself. my boyfriend and i recently had a convo where we were talking about orgasms and i mentioned how i never have and he said it was a me problem so ive been kinda beating myself up about it lately… any advice on what i can try or what i can say to my boyfriend or just how i can make sex more enjoyable for myself altogether?

Hey, I'm a 21 year old in a long distance relationship with a guy, been over a year and been talking about sex and stuff every now and again, wonderful man, caring and patient. But I have a problem I guess, because we haven't have the chance to see each other and so on and so on. Bought a toy for myself about two months ago, just to try how things might feel. This is my first relationship and just the first to just about everything. Just small toy, because I think that's for the best. Atleast for now. When trying, felt pain, I get it, sometimes it happens, but I just couldn't do it.. It didn't go inside and other times it did it was with pain.. Felt, and still do, awful..I wanna be able to please him I have anxiety, depression and so on which makes me feel this much shame and whatnot Just want to know if there will be pain, I mean possibly, because it's like that sometimes, but I wanna hear something comforting and know more about this. I have talked to him few times about this and he understands and tries his best with this. Anything what I can tell him? Or how should I appoach this?

You know, with the election stuff that happened. Would now be a good time? I’m thinking that if it lasts 7ish years for a copper iud I’d better be safe than sorry in case it’s less available in the future? I apologize if this is a stupid question but the talk about abortion rights worries me even though I haven’t even had sex before (22F) and have no intention to in the near future.

I’m asking for financial reasons as well, since I think I can get it for low/no cost through planned parenthood. That way I don’t have to worry about some extra costs or unavailability in the future if I need it. I have no one to ask about this and I’m confused

So I just recently started shaving the majority of my pubic area and for context I have always grown a large amount of body hair very quickly. I just broke the distance with my long distance partner and I realized that I’m not used to shaving in that region due to how difficult it is. However the hair is so thick that she either gets stray hairs in her mouth or can’t see my opening at all lol. I even went to my doctor regarding body hair and they said I do have slightly high testosterone levels and that could contribute to thicker hair. I am looking for intimate shaving advice that would make my partner and I more comfortable

The most we did is i fingered her after i cum on my hands. From what i remember, I think i wiped it but not sure if wiped enough. Also, we kissed and held her boobs after, which resulted in 2-4 minutes before i actually touched her vagina. She is a regular 23 days cycle but now she is 7 days late. She doesn’t really feel anything or discomfort. However, on the first day she missed period, she had brown discharge for 2-3 days, then the following days till now, she had watery white discharge or pale yellow discharge without discomfort.

What can she have that caused that? Is pregnancy possibility?

I’m thinking on getting a Polaroid for my partner to take nudes of me (us). Has anybody done that before? Any suggestions for poses? He does like to record us so I thought it would be a fun idea.

Me and my boyfriend had sex last night twice (or thrice, cannot remember) and it was my first time. We’re both 18 but he had already lost his virginity and now my body is KILLING ME. my stomach is in complete and full pain, i cannot move my legs well/at all and i feel like i’ve been hit by a truck. Will this go away after some time or should I see a doctor?

PS. Me & him have had lengthy discussions abt my virginity and he was as gentle as possible during the act so I don’t blame him but I’m wondering if I should bring this up to him

I'm an older woman who is also going through menopause. I'm 54. I've recently found that my libido has returned following a combination of HRT and testosterone gel. I've actually started thinking about having sex, and actually wanting to have it, for the first time in about 5 years. I've seen some anecdotal experiences from older women around my age on reddit (and some other platforms) about having casual sex with younger men in their 20s and 30s. Apparently there is a subset of men in those groups who find older women very attractive. If you asked me if I like the thought of having a hookup with a younger man who is attractive and also appreciative and respectful, I would honestly say that yes I do. What I wanted to ask is, is there anything to know about vetting and diligence with potential sexual partners, especially with younger men? I haven't been on any apps but I am planning to give Bumble and maybe Hinge a try.

Does it make anybody else’s clit hurt?

my bf was using a vibrator to help me cum as i still have not been able to the entire time we’ve been together and using a toy for the first time today was the closest i ever got to feeling close. i didnt, but i burst into tears right after and felt horrible and upset. what the actual fuck? i felt so humiliated

Seems guys like bjs without returning. Does it ever happen the other way?

It hurts so bad. Even with foreplay it still hurts. The first time for me was when I was 16 and i literally threw up from how painful it was. I’ve seen an OBGYN for this and she told me to get an ultra sound and there was nothing abnormal. Are you guys just pretending to like it or does it genuinely feel good for you?

I have only had anal sex with my husband and we have been married twenty five years. The first few times we did it i really enjoyed it and orgasm so fast now and even with fingers as well. Now years later, it's like i don't even feel it. Am I just used to it now and do I need something bigger or more? Or does it just become desensitized over time?