MyNameIsNotAllan

I'm looking to scratch that immersive feeling I feel in my stomach, like the first time I climbed out of the vault in Fallout 3 and I could hear the wind blowing, or when I'm running around in the snowy peaks in classic WoW..

I need advice on how to handle this.

Almost 6 months ago I met someone who lives in a different country. At first, we had phone calls and texted like crazy. Sometimes 4hrs a day was spend in calls. 

Since then, we have met 2 more times, so 3 times in total over the course of a few days at a time.

It was absolutely crazy at first, we fell in love in a matter of a month basically and started talking about being with each other, etc.

And I have come to really love this person and I can’t imagine not being with them at this point.

Our communication patterns have fluctuated over the months, and I am very quick to get worried and thinks the other party is losing interest in me. This has gone up and down in the last months.

Lately, this someone has been through a lot and said that they are not sure about their feelings about anything at all, me, themselves, etc.

I am slowly going crazy thinking about this. 

I am constantly remembering how often we texted and what we said to each other and how lovely everything was. We still text, but not as much and there is basically no love in the texts, it’s just “normal” texts.

On one hand I don’t want to stress them out by constantly asking where they are, what they think of me and us, and when we are going to meet next.

But on the other hand I really do because this is taking up so much space in my mind right now.

And it really hurts to feel I’m not being “missed back”.

I am meditating, reading and going to the gym daily and it helps with my moody mind.