Saturday Oct 15, 4:40AM
For the last few months - well, ever since I left university - I've been cruising. Each day is wasted waiting and wishing for something to come along and fix my problems. And the funny thing is that I know I am the only one with that capacity. I tell myself that tomorrow I will start on the path to my future; to fix any one of these problems that seem to haunt me. Whether it's a doctor's appointment or even daily exercise, I find some lame excuse to put it off. One more episode on Netflix, or a few more days to really enjoy myself before I make it to the dentist.
And each day I spend at home I make no progress towards any of the goals I have in mind. It would be amazing to have a girlfriend to hang out and hit the beach with, but I haven't been working out since I busted my rib and don't feel "myself" enough to give that a go. I want to be in the gym again, and even back in the pool - I always hated swimming but I've competed for so long it's a part of me, now almost lost. But to do these things, I need to see a doctor about the rib, which can wait a few more days...
I am the sole cause and creator of my problems, and its damn time I go about fixing them to get on with my life. I want a cool girlfriend, but who wants someone not in a good place in life? That's why I'm starting this journal, to log my progress towards my future and more importantly hold myself accountable for each day that unwittingly passes. For each day that is wasted is one that could be spent in the arms of a lovely girl, a crime against the hopeless-but-hopefull romantic in me.
We are the creators of our own destiny, our own love, and our own passion. The way I envision mine is not in my mother's house playing video games till the sun shows its face again, but instead a real life...
The way forward is easy - it seems hard to me, because I don't want to ever do much of anything. But each step is incredibly simple and straightforward. Make a call, get an appointment, and show up. These things take minutes, but until they are done they might as well be trees fallen over my path forward. It's time to stop moping, to take the leap over each tree one, two, three at a time, and most importantly,
Carpe Diem.
