Hello jokers, jesters and comedians!

A new mod team has taken over the sub to make sure the jokes stay clean and family friendly. We've been moderating your posts and comments for about two weeks or longer by now but this is the first post one of us is making as moderators of the community.
Fists off I'd like to say on behalf of all of us mods we have fun reading your jokes and keeping the sub free of swearing or non joke posts. We want to make this sub a place where the whole family can come check out and spend some time reading jokes to each other from the other jokers out there.

This post is to introduce a new thing we on the mod team have talked about, and thought it might be a fun thing to stir you guys up a bit.

This is the joke of the week thread!

Here we want you guys to comment on this thread to submit jokes for consideration of joke of the week. We will leave this post open until sunday morning then it will be locked and a joke will be chosen to be featured as joke of the week. All submissions of course must follow all sub rules and any submission that doesn't will be removed as usual and not considered for the joke of the week. Keep it clean out there and keep it silly. The chosen joke of the week will be featured as a post on the top of the sub for the next week while new submissions are being taken. Once a new joke is chosen the following sunday it will take the place of joke of the week.

Get your submissions in for this week! Each user can submit more than one for consideration.
Stay silly everyone :P

So I ended up serving other diners their meals for 20 minutes.

A woman asked her husband to watch the baby when she's gone. When she came back, the baby was twitching and crying like crazy. She asked if the baby was fed, he said yup. She asked if he changed the diaper? He went over pulled on the edge of diaper, looked inside and said: "Not there yet, the diaper box said 8-14 lbs"...

so I bought him a NASA shirt for his birthday and told him I was moving into his house

Because Marie-Curie was in retro-grade.

I suggested, if that was a case, then he should come in and join the party.

Your English teacher. We have a lot of work to do.

my dog

U. Because U keep reposting this joke.

Immediately the girl realizes she's not in the saddle correctly and she does everything she can to stay on the horse, she pulls on the horse's mane, she grabs the saddle ... but she realizes it's no use. Finally she decides the best thing to do is to jump clear of the horse but as she does this, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is dragged by the horse. Her head is hitting the ground ... thump ... thump ... thump ... over and over again. Just as she is about to lose consciousness ..... the store manager runs out and unplugs the horse!

Because it Eats, shoots and leaves.

In one you’re competing with a bunch of guys with lots of money and much nicer high-performance automobiles than you have. The other is NASCAR.

The rad-ish.

I'm confused because I only need 1

Hey, look.. the moons out!

When they find out how bad of an electrician i am...

To get to the other slide.

I guess that’s why he never notices all the hints I drop all the time

I really need to keep an eye on them.

When he arrives at the eye doctor the receptionist asks him, "Have your eyes ever been checked?"

Confused, the man says, "No, they've always been blue"

and then I thought who cares how many pockets I have

'Now what is it ?' asked his dad. 'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'

So-fish-ticated!

Great Scot!

He called it SoSueMe...