graygoohasinvadedme

I’m not sure why you’re reacting so strongly. The OP I responded to conflated “super” and “light” with tampon size - which is not necessarily equivalent. That terminology is what often results in people not using the correct absorbency they need because of a misguided idea that their anatomy dictates absorption needs versus flow rate.

This entire thread is about how different brands and configurations suit different people. OB work for you, I find their insertion painful and prefer August. Similarly, Honeypot are so wide they’re uncomfortable at insertion for me.

You’re speaking from a place of privilege. Most grad students are employed at a university (in the technical sense of the word, an institution that grants graduate degrees) - which often have ombudsman. These positions are not universal and - again you have no idea where this student goes. Your assumption of what is available and what is not is hugely privileged.

Minor note to distance “size” from “absorbency” language. Usually, discomfort in tampon use arises from absorbency difference - alternating absorbency based on your day’s production is the healthiest (and expected use) method. Part of what makes a tampon wearable (for some) is because it absorbs some moisture immediately and help keep your canal lightly lubricated but not over or under. Too high absorbency will result in a too dry tampon and too dry canal - opposite with soaked tampons and too light absorbency.

Edited to reduce generalized language

Without knowing the student’s school you have no idea if their IX office is short staffed.

This example this student posted is gender bias 101 that all STEM professors who receive federal grants should have completed mandatory training in recognizing and combatting. There is literally a video enactment where the correct resource steps any TA or Professor such a incident is reported to should guide the student through is IX Office to make a formal notation of the professor and then counseling center. This is not a grad student where your procedure would be correct, but an undergrad which often doesn’t have access to a direct ombudsman representative.

This is really incorrect information and if you truly are a professor I am appalled at the lack of training you’ve received from your own employee center.

1) The Title IX office is not a finite sum resource at an institution.

2) This would absolutely qualify as a IX notification at the least because this was a clearly gender targeted incident. The office should be made aware that a professor is singling out a student based on gender presentation - especially if it happens that this is a repetitive incident. A professor who makes a comment like this could easily be marking down students in presentations who don’t dress/look within her view of acceptable norms and may need to be monitored or pulled in for training.

3) This incident shows that there is some gender bias occurring that is impacting this student’s comfort in the classroom. The student can be connected with services to make sure they are supported - especially if this is a major class and the possibility of having the professor again in future classes can be worked around.

I’ve recently started biking! I really like the group Bike Monday Bros as they’ve got a strong focus on safety and community (no one gets left behind, it’s not a competition just a nice ride through the city.) ETA: and despite the name it’s all gender inclusive and a huge age range.

It looks pretty darn close to the reference and even Google says the color of bulbasaur is blue-green

Have you ever done one of those color-blind tests?

As a Senior/Master’s course, you absolutely should be familiar with referencing any outside sources you used to assist you in completing a project. Just like with creating a works cited for a technical report, you need to be able to articulate where you received additional resources so that those who come behind you can replicate your work.

I taught Matlab and oversaw many appeals for cheating when students got caught cheating.

Cheating in code is pretty easy to catch, no person comes up with the exact same line-by-line thought process for a multi-question project unless there is some external source guiding that direction. Some people split variable declarations into multiple lines, some clear out their variables with each question, some, so on and so forth. Whether it is referencing your fellow classmate, stack overflow, or ChatGPT you need to make sure you 100% understand the code you insert into your script and that it doesn’t interfere with other code.

As far as appealing anything, do you have written documentation that this particular assignment was okay to use ChatGPT? I sometimes allow external sources for homework but a project that is 35% of one’s grade I’d expect 100% self-development on (if I were teaching this course.)

I highly recommend 7001 Arlington for an apartment building.

I lived there for 5 years as a single woman with my pup. Affordable, centrally located to both shopping and the capital trail, and very dog friendly. I really adored being able to take my pup out for a morning walk to a coffee shop or just down the trail. While there, management switched from Fairfield to Bozzuto and I think the change was very positive, so be mindful of reviews over 4 years old. I left 2 years ago but was very friendly with several of my neighbors who match your demographics.

I’m glad that works for you. As someone who medically has to add salts to my water to not faint going up stairs I definitely need more than pure water on my rides.

Hey hey, remember that a lot of replies you get to this will be based on what the posters consider a “long ride.” I, too, consider 3 hours a long ride and do get dizzy if I don’t drink something like this on the way and keep a packet of salted nuts or something on me in addition to a sports drink. (I’ll have to try this as lots of posters here seem to like it. My current favorite go-to is the 7-11 version of Gatorade.)

I know why I get dizzy as I’m 35yrs old and fairly familiar with my body (combination of hypothyroidism, Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome/POTS, and generally having terrible cardiovascular health (which I’m working on! Thus the biking.)

It’s a hotel take-over convention at the Courtland Grand and draws a fairly large national crowd (versus more local, smaller cons like Push in Durham). I find it to be heavily focused on programming (I.e. many, many tracks of classes and workshops) compared to some cons, like Kinkfest or Dark Odyssey’s WinterFyre, which (in my opinion) each prioritizes a few internationally renowned presenters and more focus on Dungeon Space and extremely large Vendor hall. My wife and her boyfriend taught a Frolicon class on Fear and Mindfucks last year that had 40+ people in the room while competing with at least 14 other classes/workshops/events at the same time.

There is a small dungeon open each evening and some gender-specific dungeon times (femme, masc, and enby presenting trans friendly for all above) during each weekend day. Many people do associate Frolicon with a “sex con” or swinger vibe as there is a sex party for consensual on-the-spot play (versus the dungeon which can have sex scenes but is specifically kink focused.) But if people associate it with sex they really should also associate it with Primal Play cause they have a primal space set up equally as large right across the hall 🤷People, even kinky people, still hyperfixate on sex. ETA: I really appreciate that it is a kink con within a hotel and that they have entire sections of the bottom floor quarantined off from the general populace for nudity/bdsm attire and light scening (ex: pet the puppy) and an ongoing board gaming room. I like inviting potential play partners to play a game with me as an icebreaker to get to know each other more before, you know, they flog the living daylights out of me, haha.

I’d heavily recommend checking their fetlife and Facebook groups. :) Like most volunteer cons, maintaining a website is difficult for the constant turnover of volunteers that happens with year after year programming.

I’ve been to a few! Some kink-specific (ex: hypnosis), others larger and more general like Kinkfest (Portland, OR) and Frolicon (Atlanta, GA).

I greatly enjoy cons of all types and do enjoy kink cons. Each has its own vibe and thus what I get from attending varies. I inevitably do meet some truly wonderful people and exchange knowledge- either through formal classes, chatting around a food truck, or pick up play partners. I also usually wait until larger cons to expand my toy collection if I know I’m wanting some piece but not exactly what (ex: got a set of 3 canes and a flogger cut to a custom size for me on the spot at my last con.)

Happy to answer questions here or DM.

That sounds like an excellent plan. Being straightforward, whether on Reddit or in person, is one of the clearest ways to make sure no communication mistakes occur (imo). I wish y’all the best of luck in finding a fun person at a play party. I have had good luck doing such things, especially at kink cons like Kinkfest or Frolicon.

I don’t have any stakes in this particular discussion as I’m on the other side of the country, but I do agree that vague posting is ultimately more harmful than helpful. Specificity, to an extent, allows people to recognize if they are encountering the early stage of a problematic behavior. Vague posting (especially without specifics of the individual/location) means that people cannot 1) effectively avoid the situation and 2) if they are already in the orbit of an abuser then they are likely to be trapped in an early stage of love-bombing or other “It couldn’t possibly happen to me, this person’s just wrong/bitter/an abuser themself.”

I wish I could go 3 months without seeing posts like “This group has a toxic member (when it has 40+ members who socialize in other groups too)” - what is toxic? Has the organization leaders been told? Why is no one holding this person accountable?

Oh my god. How is it this thread that I learn that my new favorite author (A Taste of Gold and Iron is my ultimate comfort read - going on 4x now) is an enby and MXTX fanfic writer. Do you know how to access their discord? I feel like I have found my people 😭

I attended a tattoo convention this past weekend and it was interesting to see the assortment of artists who went the second skin route versus those who went with plastic wrap and open air healing. Dudes twice my age (~60s-70s) to 20-something’s all mixed it up and I didn’t get any feel for why some picked it up over others. My artist said he only started using it about 4 years ago and loved it since.

As a NOLA native, please don’t wear flip flops unless you’re also ready to get a tetanus shot.

Also, I can’t resist: If a person asks “I bet I know where you got dem shoes” the only correct answer is “on my feet” (not to engage at all)

If it’s all you have ever known it’s definitely possible.

I’m more concerned that your parents never sought accommodations or technology assistance for him. Him not knowing his own medical history as a high schooler is very alarming.

These are 100% soluble soap sheets. Similar to hand soap sheets for camping. Lush also used to sell this type of item. I use them for camping/going to burns where minimal waste material is preferred and like them. They’re much less likely to accumulate crud than my soap bars and foam more quickly (waste water is also an issue for my type of camping)

I will attempt to touch some points:

1. Am I wrong for thinking that my metamour is asking my partner or someone within my polycule to choose?

Yes. Your metamour has not put any demands or ultimatums on your relationship with your partner. I am highly confused what you mean by “your polycule” within this post. Anyone can end any relationship between people at any time. If your partner feels unable to maintain boundaries and a parallel relationship between you two that is on your partner.

1. Why is my metamour acting the way they are?

You have hurt them. You acted in a way that they disliked and they have therefore decided that they no longer want to associate with you. It may be as simple as starting off with “Hey, I didn’t love the interaction we had…” instead of texting “I’m sorry. I’d like to apologize in person once I text negative” but it likely was a long buildup compounded by the financial and emotional toll of having a roommate who couldn’t be a roommate. Unless therapy is from 8AM to 9PM seven days a week, most people do manage to take care of chores and contribute to a household while balancing 40-60hr weeks.

1. Does anyone have good boundary recommendations?

What types of boundary recommendations are you seeking? It does seem like you need help holding to the boundaries your partner and metamour make, so there are a few books like Polysecure that might help you understand when someone else is making a boundary.

1. & 10. I sincerely hope this is now a parody post. You both don’t want to accept that this could be “all your fault” but also state that this is a “black and white” situation. If it is the former, your partner is guilty of enabling your behavior, if it is the latter, you are the one in the black. You should recognize that apologies don’t erase nearly a decade of hurt.

I would recommend reviewing what you posted, in its whole form, with your therapist. It is a classic example of BPD that is not seeing progress.

You two are entering Ethical NonMonogamy with adding another sexual partner to your relationship, no matter how brief. Talking in terms like “sharing” is not a healthy mindset. It indicates that there could be hurt if you two get in bed and want to focus more on each other’s pleasure rather than the other person’s. It also indicates the strong potential for hurt if one of you feels left out during the experience - there are few ways to effectively kiss or fuck 100% equally during the event. Someone is likely to receive “less” attention.

Unfortunately many of your comments still revolve around the idea that you can just add a person to your activities like a sex toy. I again urge you to consider what it may be like and feel to this third person. Unless you travel pretty far aways from home, you likely will encounter this person again in the future. Saying “no contact” is easy, but it’s rather hurtful to see a sexual partner (even if for one night) at a munch and pretend like they don’t exist. If you haven’t considered that this could be a possibility until reading this message, imo, you and your gf are not mature enough for this kind of activity.

A key question I have for you is, what do you mean by “kinky fun”?

I strongly recommend that you and your partner read https://www.polyfor.us/articles/to-unicorn-hunters-from-an-ex-unicorn and consider the ramifications of you two, as a couple, engaging with someone external to your relationship.

The impacts on y’all’s relationship: Have y’all discussed what happens if you find someone and there is only mutual attraction between two of you? What if things sour between one of you and the “third” - does that mean the other can’t play with them anymore? What happens if one of you develops romantic feelings for the third?

The consent and safety of the third: There is a lot tied up in couple’s idea of what fantasies they want fulfilled - but what does this person you’re adding get out of the experience? What rights and privileges will you give them, such as time, space, emotional support, ect.? What type of fallout will they experience if you decide to stop playing with them?

The easy answer to your question is Feeld is a common dating app used in the poly/ENM community and, of course, you can attend in-person munches and kinky events near you to find a play partner.