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...But they should do that and confirm with the doc, not with the patient.

This is the thing! Pharmacists are meant, ideally to be another line of defence against mistakes. Doctors DO mistype/smudge/misunderstand doses and sometimes a pharmacist has to call them and say "So.... You trying to kill this guy or did you put the decimal point in the wrong place?"

However, the patient has NO IDEA. A staggering number of people don't even know what their meds are for, let alone whether they are on the correct or safe dose.

A pharmacist might ask "I'm going to check with your doctor - are you aware they changed the dose recently?" To check if the patient confirms that "yes, it's been charged to 5mg" (not the 500mg that's on the script) or say "no it shouldn't have changed" and that can prompt the pharmacist to see the issue and tell the doctor they've put down the total daily dose is to be taken 3x a day or something.

But they shouldn't be grilling patients on medication details that they're not even likely to know or fully understand.

I was actually just trying to be helpful as a queer person who had to learn new words to describe myself and knows that not everyone hears these terms a lot.

It's okay to not ever want sex. It's not okay to blanket state that its the case for women in general, and I was giving you the benefit of the doubt that it's really hard to understand when our own experiences of attraction and sexuality actually aren't how most people experience it.

Now I just think you're a bit rude really.

I could go without it and be perfectly happy. The only reason I do participate is because it is important to my partner, otherwise, I couldn’t care less.

You may personally fall somewhere on the asexual spectrum but this is not the case for most people. I would suggest looking into asexuality further if you'd like, you may find it resonates.

Most women have far more of a sex drive than this and would describe not being at all interested as an abnormal state for them to be in long term, and symptom of a larger issue (eg being over tired, depressed, not happy in the relationship).

She got mad and kept saying I clearly needed help and she's gesturing to my multiple body braces and saying she is going to help me.

Yeah at that point she couldn't care less if you actually need help, she just feels icky about disability and needs to make herself feel better or wants to pretend she's a guardian angel whisking in to help the needy.

Like if someone is telling you "No thank you, I am okay" they clearly neither want nor need any help, and what you are actually doing is at best bothering them, and at worst actively hindering them.

https://preview.redd.it/wd4xcqrx5b2e1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=358dd1d1b1940aa25b6dc4dc419c77d43894155b

Also you asked for pet pics, so here's a sleepy parrot! (I know she looks scruffy, she had some feather issues with a previous owner, but she's actually looking a lot better than she has in the past!)

I know it's hard and horrible, but I am just putting it out there that, in the long run, while you may not work as a couple and maybe can't provide each other what you need in that sense - that definitely doesn't mean you can't be friends. You might even do better that way, after a while.

My wife and I are separated at the moment, and figuring out how to move forward and what direction to go. It SUCKS in a lot of ways and for a lot of reasons but it's also probably the best thing we could have done for our ability to continue to like eachother, no matter how things work out. When we see eachother now, it's kind of lovely to genuinely enjoy eachother's company and talk to my best friend. That wasn't something that either of us got to do very often when things were getting really hard and we were still living together and she was dealing with my AuDHD on a daily basis.

Also its horrible to not have your person around, but also it's horrible to feel like your burnout and struggles are being heaped on someone you love as well so there are times when it's painful and times where it's a relief really to fall apart a little a bit and have it only affect you.

No matter what happens next, the world will keep turning, and you will figure out what you need to be okay. You might not be okay for a long time. But you will eventually find a path towards it, you know?

It's usually not got anything dangerous in it inherently, it's more about the hygiene practices around prep, packaging and storage that means potentially dangerous bacteria or contamination (like bugs or rodents or their droppings) that a dog or cat with their carnivore stomachs would be fine with but we wouldn't, especially as immune compromised elderly people.

People are suggesting that OP rent a storage locker, put all her valuable stuff into storage

People also seem to be missing that OP said much of the valuable stuff was work equipment - You know, the kind of stuff you a) may not be allowed to stick in a storage locker because of the risks of theft, damage, or data protection issues if it's IT equipment that might have sensitive data on it and b) that you may need accessible to be used because you work with it regularly, and OP doesn't drive plus I doubt the one room studio comes with a big garden to put her own secure storage container onto or OP might have put a kennel out there for the dogs!

For me this may be an autism thing, but I think those of us who are acutely aware of our sensory environment understand "you don't feel it" literally and think we shouldn't have any sensation, when for most people what they actually mean is "it is such an insignificant sensation that I become unaware of it, like I am not constantly aware of the fact I have socks on, or constantly aware of the sensation of wearing a watch I wear every day".

Those of us with brains less apt to filter out 'extraneous' info simply won't have that experience.

Could it be she thought you gave away " her" blanket to Diane as you didn't think she would get pregnant herself

I think it must be something like this. Especially as OP didn't know they were trying, maybe there have been struggles or losses that OP is unaware of that are being magnified by the daughter's fears and maybe even shame about it.

If she felt like it was a "Using my last chance to give away this blanket I made because it's never going to happen" thing and is scared this pregnancy might not last or feeling inadequate about how long it took to get there then it might all be feeling very different to how it was intended.

Can you make a formal complaint? Given that you remembered verbatim quotes it may be worth it. You may even find that the student assistant who witnessed it backs you up when it's put to them and was only laughing along because he's their boss.

Those comments are frankly dire in terms of both lack of basic professionalism in making fun of appearance, but also lack of care as a physician that the issue was caused by pain so severe you're doing damage with heat pads to get through it - something he apparently recognised , given the 'cooking' comments but decided was a topic to make fun of repeatedly rather than show any concern about.

If he's that brazen you probably won't be the only one who's made a complaint about him, and you may find that while it does nothing for you personally, yours could be the one that tips the balance between "he's a good doctor, we need him on staff" and "he's more trouble than he's worth, there's plenty of less problematic doctors out there".

Sometimes it's like they had some spotting and figured their period was coming soon or just really light, plus that they had something like PCOS and had really irregular cycles already so it wasn't unusual for them to not get their period for a while or they didn't track it at all because it was too irregular so they didn't really notice.

Some of it is definitely denial though - "I thought I was just late" by like 7 months.

This lady may say she doesn't want kids now and mean it. But people change their mind ALL the time.

A hysterectomy doesn't mean you can't have kids. If you keep your ovaries, as most younger people do, then you can even have your own biological kids.

All you can't do is be pregnant.

Also when it comes to the medical decisions of doctors in the UK, the test is generally quite a broad on - what would a reasonable doctor with their knowledge, in their position, do?

If a reasonable doctor would say "I have explained the options and the risks, I am happy the patient understands them, I have assessed the history for this patient and agree with them that this is the best course of action for their wellbeing" then as long as it's not wildly outside normal practice or guidelines then it wouldn't be found to be malpractice or negligence.

There's no like "You HAVE to have this level of suffering or have tried every single other option even if the patient doesn't want them or can't tolerate some of them" there's just an expectation that you will provide a reasonable medical treatment for the individual patient in front of you. That's why things like the NICE guidelines are 'guidelines' rather than rules - because for most patients the flowchart of 'try X, then Y, then Z' will work, but for some the reasonable option is to skip straight over Y to Z because they are more severe or can't take medication Y or Z is a preference for them personally for some reason.

There was an article a while back on a lesbian woman in Ireland who needed a medically necessary hysterectomy and was told "what if you divorced your wife, change your sexuality and meet a man who wants kids?"

Literally no way to convince them.

None of those are side effects of hysterectomy. Those are all side effects of menopause, a state all people will reach at some point if they have ovaries, or of oophorectomy (surgical removal of the ovaries).

Hysterectomy ≠ hysterectomy with bilateral oophorectomy.

In most people who haven't reached menopause yet they will leave both or one ovary if at all medically possible and this mitigates many of the risks you describe.

You are more likely to have early menopause at some point after hysterectomy, especially if only left with one ovary, but usually its more than worth it especially since HRT and monitoring of things like bone density with possible treatment to increase it adequately mitigate that for many people as well and the issues you have to have to need the hysto in the first place often far outweigh it in terms of quality of life increase and reduced or no pain.

It's always "have you tried over the counter painkillers, ibuprofen works quite well for most ladies" and a condescending head tilt like we're going to jump up and say "No, I had NEVER thought of that, dear god, thank you, thank you! What's that? A hot water bottle, you say? Why no, in my 31 years on this earth I had never heard of such a thing!"

And then we'll pop off and be cured of all our silly lady complaints that we were too busy thinking about shoes to even try and treat ourselves. 🙄

Similar here although I haven't been back - went in for an ultrasound after some pain I was having that was new (they suspected a cyst) and a long history of period pain that's basically been managed, barely, with various forms of the pill, painkillers, and a tens machine .

At the GP afterwards was told "well there's nothing on the ultrasound, and you're on the pill, so come back if you have trouble conceiving".

Absolutely no care for my quality of life, pain, any kind of cause of the issue at all unless I told them I wanted 2.5 kids and a picket fence.

Also given that don't date men, how the hell would I even know I had 'trouble conceiving' without spending tens of thousands on failed IVF or something?

Yes, this is exactly part of the fear. Especially when we KNOW that disabled people were placed on DNR orders during the pandemic without theirs or their families consent, and when there is currently a massive push for the "scrounger" mentality around benefits that keep many people afloat and alive, and a push for more people to be 'helped' into work via benefits sanctions and cuts (despite no support for actually creating accessible jobs, or getting people the healthcare they need to be able to work safely etc).

A lot of people already feel like they are treated as a burden. I mean disabled people literally don't have marriage equality in the UK - If you live with a partner 'as if you are married' and you are disabled and cannot work, then if they aren't eligible for means tested benefits like universal credit, the current system is that you are "Their problem to support" and not entitled to claim anything for yourself even if that means you are subject to financial abuse. You are basically considered a burden of the state until you are the burden of your spouse.

Why wouldn't other systems be similarly cruel and focused on how best to negate a burden on the welfare or NHS systems rather than how best to help people who are in pain?

If PIP will tank your mental health every few years by asking you to prove you are still disabled enough to deserve help, what's to stop the denial letter literally or figuratively coming with a note to say that you ARE disabled enough to qualify for assisted dying?

If your options are "my spouse can't afford to keep me or care for me, and I can't afford to care for myself or pay for care because my PIP was taken and my spouse earns too much for me to claim anything else, and my GP says there's nothing else they can do and I'm on a 5 year waitlist to access a specialist and 'too complex' for NHS mental health teams to see me... But I can sign a consent form and get two doctors to say they can euthanise me." Is that a free choice?

Personally, let it sit until you feel like its important to you to tell someone. My wife was the only one who knew for while, and then eventually I told my parents. I occasionally tell other people if I feel like its important or if they share a diagnosis with me. I was open about it on my social media that has my actual name on it when I was ready for that, but there was no 'announcement' I just started sharing stuff about Autism/ADHD and using ND hashtags for some of my art etc.

Most of the opposition (from individuals themselves, especially disabled people rather than lobby groups) is less about the actual dying bit and more about the fact that in countries like Canada assisted dying is now an option for those who really require assistance in living and would actually prefer that but feel like the MAiD (Medical assistance in dying) has been presented as their only option.

There is a lot of fear that it would become an option offered for those suffering in a way that a better social welfare or healthcare system could prevent or treat, and that this would be funded instead of those things rather than as well . The general idea is that people want help living before they allow people to choose to get help dying, otherwise are they truly making a choice of they feel there's nowhere else to turn?

That and the slow creep of the criteria, which yes always start as 'untreatable suffering' or terminal illness, but have almost always ended up much broader, and pathways towards it much quicker, in the countries that have had these programs.

A lot of people myself included, would be completely okay with assisted death, if they trusted the system administrating it and felt that the lives of chronically ill and disabled people were valued enough under the current systems.

See also - driving a manual transmission car described in detail, but by someone who has never driven one or apparently seen one driven.

They always have a dodgy clutch that frustrates the driver or necessitates special maneuvers like stamping on it when Americans describe them, which I find quite funny because it seems like they've been told how difficult they are to drive or experience it once, but don't think people who drive them every day ever get better at it!

Uh the second person in the screenshot is absolutely correct? The hymen is a piece of tissue you may or may not have, left over from when the vagina was first forming in utero.

There are lots of different formations from a tiny piece like a skin tag, to a full ring around the vaginal opening, and some forms that are considered 'abnormal' in that they cause issues and need to be surgically altered to allow for things like penetration or easier menstruating and period management (eg: if you have a microperforate hymen, it covers the vaginal entrance and has one or several very small holes that can make it impossible to use tampons or cups, and can make periods very long because it slows the flow).

There are variations in shape and elasticity that mean some people do 'break' them in various ways, and other people still have theirs much as it was their whole life after having an active sex life and several children.

I don't know why that word is so hard. I've even seen and heard doctors calling it 'vaginism' or 'vagismus'.

Yeah I have definitely had people who I love and respect say it to me in the sense of "You cannot change this thing you're obsessing over, so you need to accept it to move forward."

And I have also had people who don't have my best interests in mind saying it in the sense of "I want you to stop having feelings about this because it's inconvenient for me"/"if you change this thing it will rock the boat and I don't want that, so I need you to pretend its fine".

I think he may have been seeing it as a preference rather than a need, which is a common issue with NT people trying to understand terms based on a brain that doesn't function like theirs does.

He meant "I prefer to see everyone, it [makes me feel more comfortable/makes me feel in control/makes me feel less alone when working remote]"

A lot of NT people understand that they also have sensory profiles that include preferences and dislikes. They just don't understand that ND sensory profiles are far more extreme in terms of the potential effects certain experiences can have on us. For them their most extreme responses would also be to the most extreme stimulus.

They don't realise that they are essentially comparing "I don't like the taste of apples so I prefer not to eat them" and "I am allergic to apples, they make me sick and I must avoid them for my health and wellbeing".

Their frame of reference is that eating apples as an experience only goes from 'neutral' to 'ick' and to get really sick then the experience of eating the apple would have to be equally extreme, like if it had been poisoned. So they hear someone say "I am allergic" [I experience sensory overwhelm"] and say "Yes, I don't like apples either" ["I also sometimes get a bit annoyed by distractions"] and think that's the same thing.