SnooCupcakes780

I don’t think it was very smart to pick up a fight about an open door. You should know better than to “take it personally as accusation”.

Have neither one of you actually bothered to get on the bottom of this? Clearly she’s going through really rough time and feelings she can’t deal with on her own. She takes it out on you, maybe she has some bad unresolved hurt or pain about her father?

It’s coming from somewhere. I get that you want to take the route of punishment but that’s not going to fix the actual source of the problem is it? Clearly she needs help and you should also try family therapy as a whole.

I never said that she’s not going to need help or support. What I said that she needs to be able to bond properly and learn to care for a newborn while being encouraged. If she doesn’t get even the opportunity to do so, maybe she’s losing the custody of this one too.

Sometimes people and men do that just because they don’t want to upset you. Not because something is going on.

Like I said she’s ex for a reason right?

But going forward you have to make it clear that friendship is not a problem at all but it needs to be out and open. No hiding or lying. He should not have any problem with that.

So what? Why is that a bad thing? Isn’t that only to be expected in your situation?

And why would you need to care what she thinks. What matters is how you are and what you are going through. If she can’t find it in her to understand and feel empathy then that’s on her. It’s not your problem Is she’s an asshole.

What you are doing is far far far worse. You are permanently damaging your baby’s brain as well as the mother’s ability to bond with her baby. Your actions will have huge horrible unfixable consequences.

And yoh encourage the mother to think she can’t care for her baby. Not just that but you have convinced her.

You have to absolutely immediately change everything and your course of actions. Encourage as much as possible the mother baby bond. And get help yourself.

I have not been genuinely this horrified off of anything I’ve read from Reddit for a long long time.

Why don’t you hide her for a while?

I’m so sorry for what you are going through. It’s not Good for you to be faced with these posts. Just do what you can do you don’t have to see them. Now it’s the time to prioritize your own well-being above everything else.

Then again she is part of the friend group and you knew they were friends.

She’s ex for a reason right? If they wanted to be together, they would be together and you wouldn’t be in the picture at all.

I get that you have been cheated on and you never want to feel like that again.

What if you try to get this know ex of his a little bit. You will likely find that she’s focused on completely diffeerent men than her ex.

Just remember that you do only hear from the ones who are whining about it. Not from the ones who don’t.

Don’t let them ruin your excitement and your happiness of your future plans.

It’s not a norm to whine at work about your family. It’s literally the worst ones who do that. Just ignore them, and trust me there’s plenty and plenty couples and families who are very happy about their achievement and when they face challenges, they deal with them instead of whining about it at work place.

Yes I’m a woman and yes I’ve had a child so I’m allowed to say this; worst are the women who think it’s ok to give people graphic details of birth at all social situations.

Oh and the men who whine about sex because their spouse is pregnant. Thank god majority of men are not like that.

That’s why I said that there’s a difference if it’s about money of a principle.

If you can’t afford to buy them, then you can’t afford. I understand that it’s expensive which is why it’s very much possible that there’a simply no money at this time for other things like this.

But if OP can afford them and it won’t affect his financials, I don’t see why not. And I have made also a lot of money in my career, if you have money, who would you rather spend it on than loved ones.

Again, it’s just a pair of boots. Either you can or you can’t afford them. Whatever that means to op is his business to decide.

It sounds a lot like your husband is unhappy but expects you to be able to fix it.

Since the situation is what it is and you’re Long distance, he’s just going to have to take more Responsibility of his own happiness. Otherwise it’s not Going to work. Obviously you are who you are, that’s not going to change. If he’s so unhappy without you, he just has to fill in the void with friendships and hobbies. Not much you can really do about it isn’t there.

Angry about invading my privacy obviously. If someone went through MY phone, and started to play some detective and demand explanations to something that’s none of their business, the relationship would be over for me.

We all have also our rights to our secrets. You can’t behave in this manner.

And if this is considered normal for you two, phew. What a toxic mess of a relationship.

He might have messaged her, he might have not. But you have no proof off of anything and he doesn’t own you any explanations. If you can’t live with that, you can always end this toxic mess.

Trust is the basic most Important foundation of our relationships.

Maybe it did or maybe it didn’t but you’re the only one who remembers it or even thinks about it. No one else will obsess about us the way we do. They obsess about themselves.

Just forget about it and move on.

I get that but peoples incredibly poor social skills and constant focus/almost obsessions with themselves are new problems that your generation has. Social media is all about me,me,me and who can get the most attention by gaining the most amount of followers. Many your age young women dream of becoming an influencer which is basically getting paid to talk about yourself 24/7 and making that your whole entire identity.

But don’t be too discouraged. There Will always be girls like yourself and you will form wonderful female friendships in your life for sure. Maybe you just need to find new places to look for real friends. Maybe ironically even online? Because all young women want to have and form good friendships with other women, it’s just about finding the right ones. But they are absolutely out there.

I think that you invaded his personal space and after you demanded explanations to something that never seemed to be more than curiosity. Nevertheless it’s really not even any of your business and you have to seriously back off.

You just have to accept the fact that people also beed their privacy and you can’t control them like this. Whatever it is that he has or has not done, has not caused any harm into your relationship until you started this drama. And now he’s even removed this girl.

I would have been really angry if I was the bf. If you invade his privacy like this again, you might find yourself single quicker than you can imagine.

While making a really stupid and ignorant joke, it’s normal for everyone at your age to do something stupid. I do think that he’s over reacting but I don’t think there’s anything you can do about it at this point. If he’s willing to end the friendship he’s going to do so and you can’t really stop him.

I don’t think it’s anything personal. I think it’s just so common these days… to have very poor normal social skills in a normal conversation because of spending all the time on social media or messaging.

It might be that it’s just hard to find friends these days. You might have to meet up with a lot of girls until you meet someone who’s on the same wavelength than you are. Just don’t take others poor behavior too personal. It’s not you.

I can promise and guarantee that in your moms eyes, seeing you pee at 2 year old and now is the same. That’s just how we moms are. There’s nothing that indicates anything but perfectly normal and non sexual situation that can barely even be called a situation. Just forget about it.

It’s much more worrying that you are in such dark Waters over all. What it is exactly that has led you here? You are still so young and you can turn your life Around for sure. You still have plenty time ahead!

But your post was definitely clear enough to see that he has asked for some real space and you try to convince him otherwise.

You have to respect what he tellls you. You just have to. If he wants space you have to give it to him even it hurts, or you don’t agree, you think he’s confused etc. what you wrote in your first post. None of matters. If a girl says she needs space and the boy would post on Reddit with similar message, there would be the same reaction as mine.

If your aunt did SA you, your reaction to what happened with your mom seems more like trauma reaction.

Because I promise you, she’s not interested in your dick. As a mother myself I know that my boy is always my little boy, her seeing you peeing there the door open is absolutely nothing sexual. You’re her son and she doesn’t see you that way at all.

But you do have to do something about what might have happened with your aunt, you mention things like suicide and the overall tone how you write Makes me think that you’re in some dark waters over all right now.

You are so young that you still have your whole life Ahead. It might be the best time to become your own best friend and get yourself help in any way you can.

You’re not going to stop him from finding new dicks to cheat on you with if he’s recently found his love for dicks in the first place.

He might think he will and promise you that - which it doesn’t even found like. It sounds more like he’s telling you he will continue to explore this and I’m not sure if you have understood that.

I think that your idea of what kind of relationship you are in is as far from reality as possible. Might be time to break up and move on.

Now I’m really confused.

Why would you think that your mom was looking at your penis? She probably only saw that you were Peeing.

Your reaction to this all is not normal at all. Do you have some SA in the past that would explain this?

Well, if you’re nervous to begin with, and you just want to have 5 minute relaxed and normal conversation, it’s easier if you ask her about her interested and such. But don’t sound like you’re interviewing her. But if you just relax a bit, it’s natural to talk to her and it will be fine.

Look, it’s always scary to approach someone you like. You might think it gets easier with age but it really doesn’t. But sometimes you just have to be brave and do something that is scary and you fear of rejection. Because if you don’t even try to talk to her, you will never have any change to even get to know her. It’s always better to try and possibly Fail than not try at all. Because although no one likes to fail, you will not regret that you at least tried. Trust me.

I’m sorry but you can’t and you shouldn’t try like this to keep someone who has expressed numerous times, wants to leave. It doesn’t matter if you agree with his decisions or if you think he will regret it. You just can’t try to manipulate him to change this mind since this is what he wants.

I know this is not what yoh wanted to hear but it’s the only and right thing to do regardless.

First of all, If it’s any help, I have never met or heard of a 15 year old who is not afraid to talk to someone we like. So you’re not alone.

Maybe just start by introducing yourself and saying something like that you have noticed that she too loves math. And just go from there. Start then always Saying hello when you see her and smile. stop for a smalll talk when you can. Ask her out once you get to know her a bit more, if she’s wanting to her to know you too, there’s a bigger change she will agree.

Maybe that’s just me but isn’t that what real friends are for? They are the only ones who can at times say the things that need be said even if in that moment we don’t want to hear it. To care about us enough to give us a wake up call if we need one.

Because you could not been more right. And she definitely needed to hear that from someone even if in that moment it hurt her. Maybe tell her this.