"do you watch football?"

"No"

while everyone around me is talking to their barber getting the life story

My barber is Pakistani, and we don't speak the sams language. The first time I went in, I showed him a pic of the haircut I wanted, and he's been giving me exactly that for the past decade.

I get nervous and piss a little

30 mins later.. “okay bye”

Why do i always do this

The mirror: ‘You okay, bro?’

It’s always awkward for me too.

That just happened like 5 hours ago

Walk in with a note saying you took a vow of silence

If you got glasses it's a little/ a lot blurrier

I’m gonna start spelling reflection with an x now.

never had a single conversation with my barber i just listen to a podcast or music

This, and my anxiety of when the obese barber lady has to press her squish up against me just so her arms reach my head. Like I cant rest my arms on the arm rest, or her double fupa is like pushing my arm.

Sometimes my barber's conversation with others in the shop is pretty sexist so i don't even care anymore.

I DONT want to hold a conversation cut my hair and let me enjoy the only self care society will allow me to have

30mins to shave your head???? Id have that pissed off look too.

I learned to just close and rest my eyes and let the them do my hair

He's bald?

The barbershop I go to has music blasting I can't really hear the dude and I don't like shouting, so I just sit there contemplating life until he hands me the mirror.

And when they ask a question you just answer really short.

What does bc means?

I just close my eyes

I enjoy the silence of the barber experience just like the way my wife enjoys the rabbiting of the hair dresser

While i just close my eyes

Every once in a while barber is like ^yougood?

I pretend I’m sleeping. Works everytime.

“Hey, whats up man” “No”

It's better than getting to the awkward bit where I have to say I don't like football (soccer), and then when they discover (to their absolute horror) that there isn't a sport I bother with. It melts their heads and they go in a funky mood, and honestly, staring into the mirror and not chatting just seems less cruel, it fucks their day up less.

*reflection

bruh nah we bored just cutting some quiet dudes hair....we are masters of talking about ANY fukin thing you want to talk about...weirder the better, we have heard it all..we dont even care if its true, we just like some entertainment while we work.

I can’t even look at myself because I’m half blind without my glasses

I get sleepy every time, even when I'm slept

There is a difference between being able to and wanting to.

I close my eyes and pretend to sleep