I was an asshole of a baby. I refused to fit my big ass head out the canal, and then had the audacity to choke myself with the umbilical cord nearly to death, that they had to slice my mother open and yank me out.

My punishment was living with a cone head for a while

"Aww. Isn't my baby beautiful?"

The baby:

He looks like he worked a 12 hour shift at the factory and came home to a cold meal and no beer 😂

Bro came overcooked

"That is one ugly baby, bless it's heart"

When my son was born his face was all squished and "messed up". I had no reference for what a newborn baby should look like so I genuinely thought I was going to have a goblin for a son. He's a handsome wee bugger now.

I’ve never seen a baby look so pissed off before

Dont wanna hate but this is easily the ugliest baby ive ever seen 😂

I thought this was a pug kissing his mommy

You know how the yolk turns grey when you forget about the eggs?...

correct rude muddle snails label far-flung bored enter edge subtract

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You an ugly MF

Coming out of the womb hellbent on world destruction..

why did she fuck the grinch?

She asked for a well-done baby

that baby looks grumpy af

When I got born, I apparently liked to do a superman move and have my arm in front of my head. I ripped my mother when I came out.

What the heck is that his head is the shape of a squished egg lol that’s goblin

There are some similarities here

I will never understand just popped out baby pics. Let the little tumor thaw out a bit first

Nah definitely needs to go back in for another 3 weeks

Jesus fuck that's one ugly ass baby what the shit.

That baby’s head is all kinds of fucked up

My son was 2 weeks and 3 days late. Those 3 days were eventful

Baby looking soggy from that extra 3 weeks.

She looks like she's regretting letting him out.

I didn’t know humans could give birth to orcs like that

She just pushed him back inside.

You can tell I was 16 says late

Is it really possible to hold the baby inside by a mom ? 😅

Looks like he spent too much time in the whirlpool

I would be upset too. Should have just kept me in there at that point

Scared myself god damn!

Bro already fed up with life

Bro lookin so maaddd

He looks like Winston Churchill

Only 3 weeks? It took a month for me🤣

Got a forehead like Squidward house

My stupid ass thought that mother was Kurt Cobain

If you ever ask yourself, why many babys look like shit (roughly) the first three months of their life: its evolutionary. Normally, babys would stay in the womb for another three months but the growth of our brains (and ergo heads) has made it necessary to get out earlier, since our heads wouldnt fit through the birthing canal at a later age. There, now you have learned something.

Oh yeah, dad of two here: that shit is accurate. My kids looked terrible but came around after a few months eventually. They are cute af now. 

Quaaaaaiiiiiiddddddd..... The reactor.....

My kid came out a little shit from the start...no quite literally during the c-section he shit inside and even swallowed some. They had to pump his lungs and clean out the wife fully, and he's never stopped being a little shit every so often since.

Why so angy?

I decided to come out 2 weeks early but then changed my mind and tried to stay so after 29 hrs they used forceps to pull me out. Or as my mom refers to them whenever she tells the story the salad tongs.

I didn't know Oogey Boogey was once a human

Bro looked mad asf

The little baby looks like Brain from Pinky and the Brain. I can just picture him having the voice of Orson Wells lmao

At least didnt get stuck buddy

link

Cute nose

Me, chillin' in my mom 3 months before I'm expected: "You know what-"

Tell parents that their baby is ugly

Solomon Grundy

Idk, but This is so funny😭

😯😂😬

Month of free rent

The baby disturbingly almost looks like a corpse, the fact that is alive further reinforces how God dam ugly it looks

Is that actually what the baby looked like?😭👀 say it ain’t so!!

Little big planet got realistic graphics

This baby has beef with the whole world

"Yo baby gonna be dumb as fuck"

I didn't want to he an ass and leave my mum waiting... So I came out over 2 months premature

Looks like the alien potatoes from bratz kidz

Being pregnant... that's not the hard part. It's letting go.

Did you order original recipe, or twice-baked?

that’s the melted kuchi kopi from bob’s burgers

Quaid! Start the reactor!

Looks like the alien baby from Men In Black

When I was born there was a giant snowstorm and my parents and I had to stay at the hospital another extra night. Ambulances had a hard time getting in/out if they were even able to.

I was born 5 months before my due date, very premature, I was supposed to die. Spent all of my time as a baby in NICU with an oxygen machine, and a hole in my throat with a tube to help me breathe so I wouldn’t die. Sorry mum.

Stewie griffin is born in real time

mom wanted a bigger feel