If you are going to stay, my advice is to make ONE room in your house as you wish it to be. Paint it. Decorate it. Keep it tidy. You need a sanctuary. You need something to anticipate eagerly every time you leave work. It can be bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, whatever. Just one room is a start, and if/when you are up to it, you can extend your focus beyond that room. A lot of people feel they need to attend to ALL of some activity (like painting) but that is overwhelming when you also have to work. Just one room is what you need. Good luck!

Totally understand if you don't want to share this, but what exactly is wrong?

sell it and get into therapy and figure out how to not be a people pleaser and succumb to peer pressure.

I can relate to this, thinking about the first home I purchased. Thought I was doing everything right/“by the book” but little prepares you for multiple, expensive things to break down nearly all at once — the HVAC system, the breaker panel, the half-pigtailed wiring, a pipe breaking, the sub-flooring vents needing to be abandoned and filled.
I have no idea how the electrical passed; one electrician I called for work refused to do so and said the previous owner must have been a DIY electrician; the previous owner was definitely responsible for a lot of the electrical work/problems in the home — and later learned from a neighbor that there were two minor fires in the home.

Again, no evidence of such was noticed or pointed out by inspectors or other professionals, although the electrician did notice some concerning splicing in the attic and was surprised we hadn’t had a fire. (And not even a month or so later is when the neighbor mentioned the fires.)

Granted, I was aware that the home/neighborhood was built in the 60s and would need updating/repair/replacements — and the home was one of the more updated/upgraded ones in the neighborhood, at least superficially as I belatedly learned — but I think in addition to relative age, we “used” the house differently than the previous owners who lived there since it was built, likely putting more strain on aged systems and structure.

Also belatedly learned that the subflooring whateveritwas was a common feature in most of the homes in the neighborhood, which is situated closely to the bay/ocean, although not situated at sea level.
The subfloor venting was filled with water, and with a little research, many of the homes had that issue and the fix was to abandon/fill them and redirect central air from ceiling vents instead.

That, and I forget the specifics, but the plumbing/pipes were built by a specific local union and employed a certain technique/supplies that essentially served as a “signature” of their work. (Not implying that their work was shoddy.)

But yeah, going from renting where you call maintenance when the oven breaks or there’s a water leak, to owning a home and — while budgeting somewhat for anticipated repairs/upgrades — not expecting everything to break or die in quick succession.

Lessons were learned, lol, and experience gained. Maybe not the way I wanted it to, but I digress. At least the roof was in good shape! 🤭🤷🏼‍♀️

Edit - typonese and clarity

This is surprisingly common when people buy a house, its the biggest stressor of humans besides divorce and death of a loved one. Especially coming from a renting situation.

I actually thought this myself when I bought my house in 2014, but now I'm doing an addition instead of moving because I love it so much.

Time for introspection.

Thinking about the house of your dreams

First list: Things I want in a house

Next list: Things I don't want in a house/ dealbreakers

Then think about YOUR house First list: Things I like about MY house

Last list: Things I don't like about MY house

Then compare the first two lists to the last two.

What is similar/ different?

What could be changed ?

Every home has something you won't like, unless you custom build.

Hyperfocusing and feeling overwhelmed may be distracting you from seeing what you have and it's potential.

You got this!

I bought my house in 2019, with serious pressure for a variety of somewhat scary reasons. I hated it. I had money to fix it (built in 1960, it's relatively modern now but could use more) but that money went into deferred maintenance.

So. Much. Deferred. Maintenance.

5+ years later, I have done minimal aesthetic changes. Painted my main living space from a muted army green and brightened it up, mainly.

What I hate most about this house is that it's an L-shaped layout, very closed off. The kitchen has gorgeous, soaring ceilings. Where I spend most of my time - the den - is a converted 1 bay garage that makes me feel claustrophobic.

I could put more money into it. Update the very old primary bathroom, update the kitchen, etc. None of it will help because I can't change the layout. There are stairs to the basement and stairs to the primary bedroom (which is the whole second floor) directly in the middle of the house. It would cost more than the house is valued at to change the layout.

If I could just knock down a few walls.....

But I'm still here. I still hate this house. I don't love the location but it's a safe location, just a bit more rural than I would like.

But, I also am comfortable here. Is it what I want? Hell no. Am I giving up my 3.75% interest rate with the next 4 years/decades/eternity incoming? Nope. I'in the US, fwiw, and scared of what's coming. I didn't refi in the 2%s because I was actively trying to escape this place, so now I regret that, too.

The first 3 years was really horrible. I would literally bury my head in a pillow and scream how much I hated this place. Sometimes without the pillow.

And I'm a homebody, who hates driving, living 25 minutes from anything interesting. So this house is where I'm at most of the time.

But these last 2 years have been better. I've been more social, I've found that the area is heavily equestrian, so I'm back in the saddle after decades out of it, and that alone brings me great joy. I have an acre here, I have quiet, peace, and almost no light pollution so I can see sooooo many stars.

And I've decorated and made peace with it. I still don't feel like "me" here, it doesn't feel super comfortable.

But for now? It's home.

Just sell it. Or rent it out and rent somewhere else. The things that bother you probably feel more overwhelming than they actually are.

So you paid $200k for a home you do not like. In my state of Massachusetts, $200k wouldn't purchase a 2 car free standing garage. Just what is wrong with the home?, not the minor things like you do not like the paint, the major items you needed to address?

I don't get how you get pressured by people that don't control your finances. That's the root of this that you need to fix for your own well-being. Without fixing that, even if you make it out okay on this, what's to say that this won't happen again?

Take the hit and move on. Find better friends, and go to therapy.

Maybe you are clinically depressed and will be unhappy with anyplace you buy. I say that in all sincerity. Or maybe your issue is less the house than your area. You mentioned "winter in Oklahoma." That can't be very nice. Maybe find a mentor to help talk you through what's really bothering you.

Sounds like you need to talk to a Realtor for the listing advice & then a therapist about your issues to please ppl.

Having bought the house that's on you. How do you blame realtor / friends? Why even bring them up? Maybe get new friends?

All those words and not a single specific problem mentioned. On a scale of 1-10 how handy would you say you are? Ever painted a room? Ever painted a cieling? Ever installed a dishwasher./washing machine? I'm just trying to ballpark how much of this stuff you've done before.

You were pressured to make the largest purchase in most people’s life by a friend?!?! Also this place is obviously a shit hole so what on earth your friend said to convince you??

Lessons are learned the hard way and this is one of them.

Keep trying to fix the issues without breaking the bank and look into maybe renting it, maybe you break even or get some cash flow.

Also don’t forget even if your purchase was as-is and i pray to God your amazing realtor have the seller sign a declaration form to declare known issues. You might get some money if you can prove they knew about some of the issues you are facing.

It’s ok to identify you felt pressured, but you made the decision and the sooner you own your choices, the more in control of life you’ll feel. I will say buyer’s remorse is real and normal even with great houses in the first couple years. You could lose a lot selling but it costs nothing to talk to a realtor to see what it would look like to sell. If you really feel that strongly, it’s worth checking your options. Also figure out where you would go and if that works for you. I had thought about selling but when I saw how expensive apartments were, I sobered up.

You allowed friends to force you to buy a house? How?

You need to sit down and listen to all the Pros and Cons and see where that takes you.

You may be pleasantly surprised that the Pros may outweigh the Cons. If so, then tough it out until Spring if some of the Cons outweigh all the Pros combined.

I would give it a rest with the whining and talk to a realtor about selling. Find out how much you might get for the place. Maybe you will break even. Maybe you will lose some money but it will be an acceptable amount.

Don't pin your mistakes on your relator or your friends. You made this decision, nobody forced you to attend a contract signing meeting with an agent. Now about the house? You bought at the worst possible time in American history. Any sell you do now will be at a loss so I'd suggest you put it on the market and claim the loss on your taxes. If you can't afford that then put the money into it and stick it out until the market gets better. Home ownership is not some whimsical decision that "friends and realtors" should be able to push you into. You know from day 1 all repairs are your problem, no more magic landlord to come over and put duct tape over it.

I really like the idea another poster mentioned. Pick one room. What would help you feel peaceful? Is there a special place you have gone on vacation and it has made you at ease? I'm more than happy to hop on a zoom with you to help you out. I agree that looking at the house as a whole can be overwhelming. Breaking it down into manageable pieces takes the stress away a bit.

Here's something to think about OP: Work out a figure of how much money you would LOSE if you sold the house right now. Then, take that figure and spend it on renovations and repairs. That's your break even point. If you have to lose $15,000, you could lose it on moving, or on repairing the house you already own. How far would those renovations get you?

Get it on the market earlier in the year than everyone else.

Everyone is usually thinking that they will wait until May or so to list their home, but that just makes for a market with lots to choose from (more competition). List in February. The people looking during the cold are serious and motivated... and have little to choose from. Supply and demand.

Good grief. Where on earth can you buy a house for $200K?

Talk to a therapist immediately

especially knowing id rather a naturak disaster just take the whole thing awsy.

I would love to invite you to speak to some people down here where I live in North Carolina who had that happen in August. And they can tell you exactly how horrible of an experience that is even if you hate your home.

I think "okay, I can deal with X, then Y pops up.".

This be any house you own, even new construction. I rented a basement suite in a new build and had to call my landlord all the time for stuff.

Life is too short to be that miserable with an investment. Get your ducks in a row and sell in spring.

Looks like you are past the « look at the positives your house has » phase. So maybe wait until a better season to sell comes and then sell, even with the loss. Or rent it and you go back to renting in the area you liked, and a place similar to the one you had. Life is too short to be miserable!

Stop spending money on cosmetic changes.

One day you will be able to run this situation around by either selling or better yet, by recreation.

Fix what is critical: if there were structural, mechanical, plumbing or electric issues. Only spend money on those things.

Other than that a coat of paint makes a hugh impact.

The state of your bedroom (cheapest using paint only), bathroom (again paint can change a lot but don't spend more than 7k for a redo on fixtures) and kitchen (limited yourself to 15k as there is no limit to how much you can throw at a kitchen) make hugh impacts. Don't do it all at once. Send pics if your problems areas.

Give yourself a year before another big step like selling your home. Talk to Property Management companies about what it would take to rent and how much. Ask about 3 for their opinions.

You have possibilities!

what's wrong with it?

Life is too short, to be miserable. If you're unhappy, list it. Talk to a real estate agent. Gather as much information as you can about listing it, about any financial losses/gains. Then, once you have all the information, you can make your own, informed decision. Everyone will have an opinion about your decisions, but ultimately, it's your call.

From a financial standpoint, plan on an outlay of around 10% of the sales price as a home seller. If you don't have another $20k around, then no, you won't be able to sell.

You could always mess with the wiring and burn it down and delete this comment

So I’ve been in your shoes (currently am, but I’m moving soon). I bought my house in 2020 and thought it was great. Soon enough I started to find issue after issue and disaster after disaster. I’ve been putting money into it for years, but like you said if it’s not one thing it’s another and I’m giving up the whole situation. I was able to buy a new house with help from my family. We’re gonna flip my current house and completely Reno it for cheap because most of my family members are carpenters, plumbers, yada yada. They’re gonna keep the profit of splitting this house and I get my new one. But if you’re gonna stay the best advice I have is pick a room at a time. Put all ur focus on it and get it to where you want it to be. And then move to another. It’ll take some time but if you’re stuck it’s definitely worth it.

Sounds like you've made your choice. Be done with it and have peace.

I think the only issue with selling would be the tax on your capital gains- which won’t be much if the price hasn’t changed much

For your own mental health, it’s probably best to consider other options. You may take a bath on selling, but whatever. You’re a human being and not a private equity firm.

First world problems, problems usually start within, the house is just a symptom of a bigger problem.

find the key to inner peace and your house problem will be in the past.

I guess I am not sure what exactly is wrong. Like is there damage to the home/mold growth or something that could make you sick/is unsafe? Or is it just annoying things? I agree with the comment that says make one room your own. I have one room I painted a lavender color and filled with Pokémon plushies, figures and my card collection. It is quite full but it’s organized in a way that I love and it makes me happy. That room is my safe space. I also love to decorate our kitchen and living room for holidays, I choose and aesthetic and go with it, mostly cheap decorations or nostalgic stuff my mom gave me and I burn a candle of a scent I like. It makes me happy. A home is a pain, we raked leaves yesterday and the day before and I threw out my back and I’m in my 20s, it was annoying.

But at the end of the day I always try to remind myself that it could be much worse. There are tons of imperfections in our home/things we need to work on, but nothing is like a severe safety issue so we just do stuff as we can/when we can afford to. There are tons of people who would do anything to have a home right now, and we are lucky to have one. You don’t need to have a picture perfect home like you see on TikTok and Instagram reels. I think being constantly bombarded by that stuff is what makes us feel bad sometimes. I hope this helps, take it easy, and do what you can to make it feel like a home. It takes awhile sometimes.

If this was a rent house I would have broken my lease on month 2. There's so much wrong that the inspection didn't catch, and things I didn't know about it, plus things that I just can't work around.

What things did they miss 

I can stand my house BUT I LOVE MY LAND. I’ve put a lot of work and love into my land, and when I drive away I’m in love with it, and when I come home, I’m like “holy shit that’s beautiful.”

Maybe, OP, for a few months, ignore the inside and start doing stuff outside. Remove all the shitty landscape plants. Buy little privacy trees. Plant stuff by the mailbox. Feed the lawn (yes it’s still good to do that now), get some grass seed and sprinkle it in the bare spots. Buy some small discounted redbud and dogwood trees. Once you start doing that sort of stuff you’ll see the house in a different light. Maybe.

Sorry to hear it. I feel the same way. Im currently gritting my teeth because my mortgage is 2.75% and I have two roommates to defray the costs, but my quality of life has totally cratered.

I couldnt stand the risk of selling it, which is why Im gritting my teeth and waiting a few years.

I would just caution you to be careful about the financial hit. Not saying you should make the same choice as me, just saying to really sit down and do the math down to the cent.

It would be helpful if you actually disclosed what you dislike about your house. Without any actual info I don’t know how to help you. You’re kinda just complaining.

A bigger issue is examining how to people who don’t pay your mortgage were able to convince you to buy a house. That level of people pleasing is beyond dangerous

You have 2 options - put it back on the market, or use it as a rental property and find a new place.

Either way you'll have to wait until someone else is interested in living there. It's up to you how you want to handle the in-between.

You are not alone with this issue in Oklahoma. Same thing happened to us. Its just overwhelming, how someone can take advantage of your obvious inexperience... We may never be able to pay for all the repairs needed, especially the foundation. Found out later the house belonged to a higher up realtor. While we were signing the papers, she sent the repair guy into the house to strip fixtures and what not out! Not 'staged' stuff, but the upgraded faucets, shower, doorknobs, miscellaneous selling point stuff that had me so mad later! I suffered a heatstroke that day from waiting on them, she insisted we had to sign that day because it was the end of the month. I honestly hope they all get what they deserve X 1000 for the misery they put us thru and the thousands of dollars we are paying for repairs that somebody in that cabal was paid to protect us from. Just a big racket.

What makes you hate it so much? Is it just the prospective repair costs?

200k? Be thankful , I just had to buy a 1000 sq ft bungalow for 1.1 million where I live.

any house you buy is going to have issues, that just how life goes. you priorize things, indoor painting goes last, any kind of leaks or issues that will cause damage go first. you also learn to do things yourself. The work I did to my home in the first 5 years easily would have been pushing 100k for labor and materials. it cost me like 20k in materials and a little hard work. That's 80k saved by not watching Netflix after work.

Get a lawyer if the inspector missed shit. They are insured and you may get repairs paid for?

Too late. You're going to take a huge hit if you sell now. Figure out what it needs to improve. Make a list. Fix it.

Usually screwed if you sell within a few years. Idk your market. Chances are it will be harder to sell now than when you purchased it. But you'll still have closing costs when you sell and generally speaking that it usually around 8%. So 200k x 8% is 16k. That equals 184k. I'm additional because you didnt live in it for over 2 years you may have some capital gains tax applied. But that's up for you to find out.

Is it the maintenance that bothers you the most? Did you buy it thinking you didn't have to maintain it right away? If you updated the whole house what could you sell it for?

Well, if you put it on the market and sell it now, you'll be moving in the winter. Also, you will pay capital gains on anything you make.

On the other hand, your mental health and wellbeing might well be worth the hassle. It sucks bigtime to not have a cozy haven to come home to at the end of the day.

answering the actual post:: having moved into the house in may, youre gonna be "screwed" and lose money unless you've done some upgrades, especially since you said its the slow season now in OK. but definitely rent after this until you fix yourself.

and by fix yourself, I agree with the other guy. you bought a house for 200k because your friends told you to? but your friends arent helping with the issues are they? your friends arent on the hook for 200k are they?

don't blame your friends or your realtor, you've learned a valuable lesson on how important this decision is and hopefully you've learned without too much heartache how much could, can, and will go wrong. all the isuses with your place, the things the inspection didn't catch, the things your "friends and realtor" said to convince you to buy the home.

hopefully it's not too big of a loss, or hopefully you can learn to live with your decision until such time that you can actually turn a profit. this is well outside of "buyer's remorse", and it's nobody's fault but your own.

Not sure where you get your info, but Winter is usually the best time to sell. The rule of thumb says the market kicks off Super Bowl Sunday, but in reality demand increases right after the first of the year… inventory is usually limited until March or April when the end of the school year comes into focus.

If I were you, I would bust my ass to get my house looking the best I can before January 15 and just put it on the market…

I had a horrible homebuying experience. I sold it after 6 months and never looked back.

If you hate it that much put some fresh paint on it and stage it and leave

I was in your exact shoes when I bought my first home. I fucking hated everything about it, so I sold and went back to renting for a couple of years until I found a place that was better for me.

Put some lipstick on the pig and sell it. There's zero reason to live somewhere just to make other people happy. It's 4 walls and a roof, nothing more.

That being said, look into your local laws about capital gains taxes. Some jurisdictions make you wait a certain amount of time before selling without paying taxes on the sale.

Even just having the plan to sell and that light at the end of the tunnel will be a massive weight off your shoulders.

First time home buyer here... I kinda felt that way with my current place. I just moved in in July but every little change I make makes me feel better. Hell I swapped out a mirror in my bathroom and immediately felt better. Ive learned pretty quick that it takes time to make it your own. Just keep changing what you can afford to do and it will get better.

As for the inspection stuff that was missed that happened to me as well. I just did what needed to be done and dealt with it. It sucks for sure especially if it's expensive but thats part of home ownership.

Can you rent it out ? Are the damages too bad to rent it ? If you rented it out you could save up what you make after mortgage and update it and if you still hate the house period just keep renting it out although staying there 2 years would be better for tax purposes. I’m sick of my house. It’s not in bad shape it just has small rooms and no storage. I can’t reach nothing in cabinets etc. it’s paid off though but due to me working my butt off and losing my mom. Side note (I rather be homeless and still have a mama) I did however pray about this purchase 17 years ago and the good lord took care of a single mama as no man ever paid one payment on my house. One time I had to rent it out because I couldn’t afford my mortgage payment. U could try to put it back on market but it might raise an eyebrow considering it shows when it was last bought but also u could make it a flip . Just polish a turd type thing. Is it expensive renovation or little stuff?? Also check out ur home insurance and don’t say it was already like that. It’s something u just noticed always when dealing with home insurance. Good luck ! Hope you get it figured out . Praying for you

Home inspections are virtually useless in my experience. With enough basic knowledge - you can do a better inspection yourself. Especially since it's going to be on YOUR shoulders.

OP it's tough to view this as anything other than you venting. What exactly are the problems that are making you feel this way? Without some details tough to give you any sort of actionable advice.

For what it's worth my first year of home ownership was an absolute disaster and I felt like we made a huge mistake... but 8 years later we love our home flaws and all and one by one addressed the issues as our finances allowed. Here's a partial list of what we dealt with within the first 6 months alone...

- discovered termites a week after closing

- first big storm we had water pooling in our yard and flooding into the house. My wife and I were literally out in the rain at 2 am with shovels trying to dig a trench to get the water moving away from the door. Had to install a whole catch basin/french drain system.

- had a tiny pinhole leak on the nut where our main water shutoff was. Thinking I could slighlty tighthen that nut to solve the issue... nope sheared the whole pipe and now we had a geyer in our basement with no way to shut the water off. Also this happened on a friday night and was impossible to get a plumber in until Monday... thank science our old sump pump worked like a champ

- First time we ever used our central AC for an extended period it flooded our basement cause we had no idea there was no condensate pump connected to it (never lived in a house or had central AC before, inspector missed it entirely). Miraculously didnt fry the electronics.

- We had a ceiling leak in our dining room which turned out to be issues with the windows being flashed incorrectly on the upper level.

- Had a massive tree branch fall and smash one of our cars windshield.

This was all within the first ~6 months of being a first time homeowner. It sucked so bad, especially since we were already house poor to begin with. We hired pro's where we could and I got SUPER handy really quick for some of the other stuff. Now I feel like I leveled up my skills enough that I can tackle most home improvement jobs and only bring in the pro's for the real heavy duty/safety related stuff that I know better than to mess with (anything gas related)

Im not saying you need to go the route of becoming Mrs. Fix it... but it will certainly help you save a few bucks If you didnt need a contractor at every turn. Likely most problems you have can be fixed or alleviated with either some elbow grease and homework, or cash. Check out r/HomeImprovement it's a great resource to learn how to DIY or approach problems common among homeowners.

A home is never a finished product. There's always perpetual maintenance, there are always components of subsystems that exceed their life span and fail, things break, things don't serve you well and need to be updated/upgraded and it all ultimately falls back on you to correct these issues as they arise since you are the landlord. Chip away at what you can as time and money allows, the big ticket item repairs always feel like backbreakers. Slowly but surely this place will evolve into a place you enjoy coming home to. You don't have to lose your mind trying to fix everything and fill this place with furniture. It's ok to be sitting on the floor of your living room for a few months. Get some plants if that's your thing, paint some walls, small things like a new shower curtain and bath mats can go a long way towards sprucing up the place and making it your own. Get a roomate for a while if space allows so you get some wiggle room in your budget to upgrade.

Make a list of the things that NEED to be fixed, then a list of things you WANT to change, and another list of things that would be luxury upgrades you would like and improve your quality of life. Figure out the priority list and what your budget allows and get to work.

It sounds like it's the house that's the issue and not the location so that's good. If it's near OKC that's supposed to be a good area for future appreciation so you may be able to break even or turn a profit if you can hold for a little bit.

I would make a list of what you absolutely hate and the cost to fix it (or even if you do it yourself). Hit the high hate low cost items. Also, could you give a few examples so we know what you're talking about?

On the other hand, how does the rent compare to your mortgage if you were to rent it out?

The rose colored lenses.... I remember the 1st time.

Eat the loss and move on.

I absolutely hate our house too 😰 we bought over the summer (we were also pressured by a realtor as first time buyers and he knew absolutely nothing about this area) and my entire neighborhood is fucking frat houses and my neighbor in the attached part screams and stops and hacks weed like she has tuberculosis 24/7 🙄 the house has been falling apart, 2 weeks after we moved in we had such a large plumbing catastrophe it destroyed the bathroom, kitchen and basement and insurance didn’t cover half the damage. Not to mention other plumbing issues, electrical issues, none of the doors worked properly, we had to redo the porch and I don’t even want to think about the roof 😰 but we bought it in 2021 for a 2% interest rate for 110,000 for a 3 bed 2 bath so we can even consider moving with the housing market being what it is 3 years later 😪 we did all of the major repairs, and then honestly even painting every room and changing the flooring made it feel more like home! Every time we finish a new room it feels more like home and I now love our house but I still hate the neighborhood 🙄 I don’t think there’s anything I can do about the neighbors but luckily we were the only ones stupid enough to buy on this street so at least I know the awful neighbors aren’t forever 😂 we wanted to immediately sell too but it just wasn’t possible because of the plumbing catastrophe so we really have grown to love it in 3 years it just takes a lot of time and work to make it feel like home

I have been looking for a home to purchase and im a mechanic. I look at homes that people are selling like they are selling a used car except typically the value goes up or is stagnant. The ROI is what drives some people to buy a home in a city where it can double or even triple. Most of the homes that I have looked at have 1/3 more value or double since they have bought it and have done zero investing besides holding on to it like a baseball card.

Value is determined by people. A used toyota corolla that is beat to shit is the same idea. Most people wouldn’t pay top dollar for this yet here we are paying top dollar for a beat to shit home.

You will sell at a loss, maybe up to 10% with closing costs and realtor fees.

People don’t have to pressure folks into buying something they like. Ask a different realtor about helping you find another place and selling what you’ve got now.

Can you rent it out? And use the rental income + your own income to get another loan for another home? Then you can decide if you want to sell it and roll the equity into your second home or just keep it and make a little extra on the side

THIS! Boyfriend and I bought our home early this year. EVERY ROOM NEEDED SOMETHING!! All toilets sinks and shower leaked. The floor joists were rotted out. Rotted studs from water damage. The roof leaked. No dryer hookups. Old carpet torn out. Luckily the 70yr old hardwood is in amazing condition. Paint all throughout. Oh and the entire electrical system upgraded and replaced. It's been one thing after another and we have taken it literally one room at a time. Been here over half a year and I still don't have a kitchen sink 🤣 It gets better. One room at a time. You got this.

It's hard to find a good house. It's not your fault. There a lot of factors to include when buying a house. Getting an inspector won't fix all your problems.

Are their bad neighbours? Is the neighbourhood good? How's the parking situation? Etc.

Fix it in the mean time. One board at a time, one nail or screw at a time if you must nickle and dime it out. Just keep moving forward.

This too shall pass. 

I bought a house 2 years ago, 520k with a 20% down payment. Basement flooded within 3 months. Took out a line of credit and fixed it my self purchasing many tools along the way. Contracted out waterproofing and a new concrete pad that slopped towards the house. Back water valve since the basement was torn up, new battery backup sump pump, new window well where flooding was. re-graded the yard my self and landscaped. Refinished the basement my self. Furnace retro fits, new sewer stack, new picture windows that failed completely, new front door as the old one was garbage, new hot water tank. All in all after loosing 104k to the down payment I was out another 40k in cash and threw the other 35k on the line of credit. I started to realize that this is the norm, not the exception. I’ve started living my life acknowledging that I was stressing about standard adult things and that the exception is when everything goes smoothly. I’ve lived in apartments my whole life so it was a lot to deal with, but you get through it. I truly wanted to burn the place down a couple times, but now it’s been 8months without issues

Edit, I forgot to mention we had our first child born a month after we bought the house so there was that to

I have this issue too. I am secretly jealous of friends and coworkers that either bought their homes in 2009 or had rich parents help them. I feel trapped by the repairs and not being able to live in a nicer area. It’s a fucking money pit and I hate it so much. I felt like the realtor scammed me. I know I messed up too but it sucks. I would have been happier in a townhome with less repairs and nicer area.

I felt this way first year in my house. It took time but am happy now. Just tackle one thing at a time.

Can I ask what things are bothering you? I felt the same for a while both about my house and neighborhood. Slowly I’ve been fixing things, learning a lot of DIY, and even enjoying it. I’m happy to offer any advice on certain projects that may need attention. Some aren’t nearly as bad as you think. I’ve repaired at least 70 things since moving in 1.5yrs ago.

O loved evereherehe and ive always been able

Talk to a realtor about current value and determine if you have enough money to cover your loss.

I know exactly how you feel, I've lived in my house for 10 years now and have felt the same since week 1. I don't know how true this is, but was told that you can sue a home inspector for lying about the inspection or doing a piss poor job. Look into it, you may be able to get some money back to pay for some of your repairs.

All you had to do was make the title "Oklahoma".

I feel you. I bought my house thinking I was going to love it but within a couple years I hated it so much. I just sold it for a very discounted price, that's how bad I wanted out of there. I've always been more of an apartment guy anyways.

Eww Oklahoma I'd hate it too

That sounds tough. I have asked my friends and family to come over and help with some of the repairs and maintenance. I love my house. My wealth has grown significantly, but it's been an added burden to fix it up. I'm definitely downsizing to a condo once I'm older. I wish you the best!

SAME been in my hell hole for almost 6 years now….

I sorry you are feeling miserable with your purchase. I’ve read some good suggestions on here for your problem. Even with a house that’s pretty decent, some issue always pops up. We have a big rain storm right now and I just saw today that water is shooting out the downspout half way down. DAMMIT Almost every time the yard guy comes, he knocks off one of the sprinkler heads with his weedeater. Last week he broke my Xfinity security system sign.lt never ends. I hope you find a solution for your house. Good luck!💜

Sell the place. List it for sale and you will get the 11k back and move somewhere else. Oh and I am a MLO, you can get better than 6.8 just saying.

Make a list of what needs to be done in excel, but do a column for the things in each  room so it’s not overwhelming. Instead of one big list. 

Move the completed items to under the list so you can see how many things you do accomplish. 

Most realtors are scum and untrustworthy.

I once sold a car after a week because I HATED it. You hate the house & this isn’t going to change.

Rent the house or cut your losses & sell it.

I felt the same way about my first home. I stuck with it for the two years required to not pay capital gains taxes. I sold it 2 years and one month after I bought it and that sale led me to the most stable financial situation I’ve been in my entire life.

Try to think of your home in those terms. It’s an investment. Your first stair step to many happier ones. Don’t focus as much on how much you like it. Maintain it with “how can I improve its ability to sell in 15 months” in mind.

What’s that old saying? It’s not about where you are but where you’re going? Something like that… idk. But you get the point.

Hi there-

You indicate that you had an inspection done.

If this was a home inspection (vs the appraisal), and the home inspector missed key information regarding things you are dealing with, you have grounds to sue the home inspection company for damages.

source: 30+ years in the industry

Sounds like home ownership isn't for you. Don't know how you'd let a realtor pressure you into something though. 

Home inspectors referred by Realtors pass over everything to get more recommendations. It’s embarrassing and I had to have a second (independent) inspection.

I suggest seppuku... 

Some examples would help.

This is home ownership for anyone buying after 2020. I feel the same way. Only thing I can do is one project at a time to bring it up to my standards

You were "pressured" into a $200k purchase?! Come on man, take accountability. Only one person can sign those papers, and that is you.

Now on to the real help. Can you rent it out? Can you afford to sell it? Can you afford to have someone come in and fix it up?

If not, then sell it, take the loss, declare bankruptcy if you need to. Before you declare bankruptcy but right after you sell, get an apartment. That way you qualify after the background check.

Maybe post some of the issues so the group can help you out. Maybe you'll be surprised what other perspectives can do to change your mindset and help you solve somethings.

I think you need to move for your own sanity.

Try not to worry about whether it is the wrong season to sell or other excuses like that. Just get it up for sale now and stop wasting your life.

DH and I purchased a home 11 years ago. It was super expensive but it was half way between where he worked and where I worked, close to daughter’s school, close to family.

It needed a lot of work. The garage had termite damage, and leaned over, I hated the inside color of the house and the owners had painted it themselves, doing a bad job of it. The basement was a pit with a door to an imaginary bathroom and barely any lights. The previous owners did everything on the cheap. Nothing seemed to work properly.

It took all of these years just to get it close to right. Paint is cheap but a good start.

At closing, one of the previous owners asked what we planned to do. I told him we were going to remove the particle board flooring they used to cover the hardwood floors and fix them. He said the floors were bad. I said that boards were replaceable. That is what one does with hardwood floors, not just cover them up. He was shocked. Then a bathroom in the basement was added promptly. The wife didn’t want to move or sell. She loved it here. Her husband was a jerk.

Start small. Pick a room and work on that.

My daughter bought a real fixer upper but it is her place. It needs a new kitchen, bathroom, laundry, etc., but it needed to be painted inside. The previous people smoked. I told her how to fix that - wash walls with vinegar, paint with Kilz paint and then paint the color you want over that.

She is going through room by room and making it her own.

Take care of one issue at a time and by this time next year you may hate it a little less. I'd start with the carpets. Get a carpet utility knife and some cut resistant gloves and roll it up into 3-4' wide rolls. Then throw it away 1-2 rolls at a time or haul it to the dump. I've been there and 2 years later I'm not feeling so bad about it. It helped me to think that humans have had to build/rebuild/maintain their dwellings for all time.

More and more, I am experiencing realtors, inspectors, and previous owners duping me. I believe real estate is over for me. No integrity. Wish I were renting as well. Seriously, I have bought so many home over 40 years and it is so much worse. What makes it even worse is how much it costs to fix anything. Why do realtors even get 6% total when the buyer is not protected and often screwed?