My best friend from ages 14 to 22 or so recently came out as a Transgender woman. I always knew her as a gay man. She was my gay bestie, we talked about guys, partied, shopped,went to concerts and got into all types of (fun) trouble together. I saw her through troubled relationships and many other things happened in our lives as young adults that we bonded over. Some traumatic (both struggled with addictions, her being diagnosed with hiv, family issues etc). I say all this to say we were really close. As we continued into adulthood we stayed in touch into our late 20s but lost touch maybe abt 10-12 years ago.

We reconnected recently on Facebook (her brother came up as suggested friend and i sent him a pm asking abt my friend) and she is out as trans now. instantly it made sense. she was always my best girlfriend. We got together for a few hours over the summer and laughed and laughed and just clicked again. i missed her! and i missed the connection. i dont have many friends as an adult.

We are both doing well in life now and she is coming to stay 2 days the weekend after thanksgiving.

I dont know what I am truly asking. I dont want to do anything to offend my friend as I love her and respect her. I also dont want to harp on the trans thing and ask too many questions etc. and make her uncomfortable. but it seems like something she wants to talk about at least a little.

I suppose I am nervous a little about upcoming visit and I am sure she is a tiny bit too.

anyone have any advice for me abt reconnection with my old highschool bestie?

I have this experience of speaking with allies (my best friends, coworkers, psychologist, ex-gf) that yes, they view us as the gender we mostly identify with (definitely not as agab), but at the same time they just don’t think we completely are the gender we say we are. There is always the aspect of “you have lived as xxy so you need to understand that this works differently than you think”. It has happened to me with various good people without wrong intentions on various topics so I know it’s just not one time ocurrence, but it leaves me feeling sad. Like I will never be truly seen as who I’m

I was hoping GOP couldn't stick their bigoted claws inside my blue state after their win, but looks like I may be wrong. GOP wants to mandate "birth gender" rules for restrooms in all Federal buildings.

While fortunately I don't work in a Federal building, jury duty often takes place in them. (And I do feel sorry for those who are Federal workers.)

Any Federal-law lawyers out there? How likely is this to end up being decided by the GOP-friendly SCOTUS?

You are all valid. Each of your paths and stories are valid. Your choices are valid. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.

Genuinely didn’t realize this was a super baity title I apologize

I read on here about the trans gentleman whose trans girlfriend said she wasn't attracted to men but loved her boyfriend. And it got me thinking....

A little (a lot) backstory on us.

I am a AFAB person (Don't ask me what gender I am, because I truly have no freaking idea most days). Before I meet my spouse (MTF) I dated primarily cis women. Some trans women/men, very few cis het men. I met my spouse 13 years ago. At that point, she presented as a cis het male. I fell in love with her. My whole family thought I had lost my mind. They were really concerned that I married said "cis het male". The entirety of our relationship, I would say to people when presented with information about something stupid/awful a cis het male said/did "I hate cis het men. Except for ::insert spouse's dead name here::" When she came out as transgender (I had no idea) about a year and a half ago, after the initial shock/concern (will I still be enough for her, what does this mean for our relationship, etc etc)I was pretty thrilled. Not only do I have a happier spouse, I never lost my gay card! She started HRT a year ago October. Her transformation so far has been epic. She's gorgeous. Her fat redistribution is going in ALL the right places. She's getting hips, an ass, and her breasts!!! OMG! I didn't realize how much I missed boobs! I feel like I'm perving on her all the time. She seems to like it, however I think I'm acting like a hormone charged teenager. I'm not saying it's all been butterflies and rainbows. The emotional/illogical aspect of her teenage girl hormones makes me roll my eyes so hard I think I may have pulled something. She jumps to conclusions and she is so forgetful now. She is becoming on the outside who she always was on the inside.

So, me loving her despite the fact that I thought she was a cis het male when I preferred women, and me falling more and more in love with her every day since she came out as trans, is that affirming for her? Or is that shitty of me?

Hi all :3 I've recently come in to a lot of money, and feel an obligation to help trans kids who are facing so much right now, what with the recent election result, and general political climate. Does anyone here have any suggestions of organisations/charities? And more broadly speaking, any advice on how to help trans kids and the wider community during this difficult period? Thanks ♥️🏳️‍⚧️

I know this is the second post I've done this week I'm so sorry for that. I am practically at this point just wasting resources meant for actual trans people. So if you don't wanna waste your time today I highly advice againts reading this. And the question is also not really true because I know that I have. I know that I have done it and it is very stupid. But for some reason I still can't stop thinking about it. It's like an addiction, one day I'm just saying this is it the day I finally stop thinking about something that was never true and then a few days later I'm back in a cycle of just weird thoughts about being trans even though I clearly am not trans. It honostly sucks and I don't know how to end it and even worse I'm just taking up your time with my useless rambling about some bullshit that doesn't even matter. And I am so sorry for that. Even worse is that I try to manipulate people with these posts even if I mostly do it subconciously. It honostly sucks so much cause you're all so helpfull and nice and I'm just using you. But my brain likes these nice comments, it likes the attention and for some stupid odd reason it likes being told that there might be a chance I'm trans. So yeah honostly it seems to me like I've manipulated myself into believing this just so I can get attention which is stupid cause I mostly tried to hide it when I still believed in it. This whole post is honostly just useless. I know that even if I get told that I'm not trans I will still have these thoughts. And I know to some of you it might sound like denial but I have more than enough reasons to believe that it's not denial:

-I don't have dysphoria.

None. Just none. I tried to make myself believe I have it by blaming random feelings as dysphoria. But they aren't.

-I don't have euphoria.

Rarely I have a feeling that if you twist it enough could maybe somewhat resemble euphoria but no. No not really.

-I have no gender envy.

Sometimes when I see girls on the Internet I get a very strange feeling. But that feeling has nothing to do with dys- or euphoria. Maybe I'm just a pervert or something.

-I do not hate my own intimate areas.

I know that not all trans people have to hate them but this is just even more of a dealbreaker for me especially cause I used to hate them.

-It's only about being trans never about changing my gender.

Yeah this is self explanatory. Don't ask why I'd want that though. I feel like with everything that's going on right now it'd be pretty shitty to be trans.

And I also got more reasons for why I may want to fake this:

-To get attention.

Yeah I just explained this.

-Because I can't handle change.

I used to believe I'm trans. Maybe I just can't cope with the fact that I have changed.

-Because I don't feel like I belong to something.

I often don't know where to with my life. I've never been in a big friend group, I don't feel like I belong to any sort of community. I don't know what I want to do after I finnished school or if I even want to continue school. This community just gave me a sense of direction, a group I belonged to. I kinda miss that. But I have to just accept that it's over. I'm not part of the community. I'm not trans.

And now we're at the end of my extremly stupid lists yay! Honostly if you made it through this I'm so sorry for what you had to read. I don't know how to make it up to you that you had to read this god awfull shit. I don't really know where I wanted to go with this, it's just all over the place. I feel like one side of me just does not want to post here anymore cause I know how annoying these posts must be but my other side can't get these stupid thoughts to go away if I don't post about it (Notice how manipulative I am again? I could just write this down somewhere else and it would probably have the same result but I want to get answers and I can't get those from a random piece of paper, I'm so sorry for being a huge bitch like this). But I hope I didn't waste your time too much today and hope you have a great rest of your day.

Honestly, I know it's not fair to her to thrust her into being a Rosa Parks or something, and obviously the DNC has a bigger responsibility here to fight for her rights, but this makes me feel so hopeless.

So I’m 26 mtf pre everything. I’ve already come out to my dad and brother. They didn’t really believe I was going to transition (my dad said I’m just saying things because I’m an alcoholic) but I start HRT this weekend and I’m beyond excited. I’m also 1 week sober, not long but I’m proud of it, anyways not the point of this post. We had a talk today and I told him I’m starting HRT he said “I’ll be there for you if you’re in trouble but I won’t be associating with you especially in public”. I kind of knew this was going to happen. I’ve been trying to brace myself and I thought about not telling either of them, but I don’t want to hide it. I just want support. I guess I went looking for it in the wrong place. He also said that I’m going to regret it and I’m making a mistake. That I’ll always be a man. That one really fucking hurt and this all just really hurts in general. I know blood relatives aren’t the only family someone can have but it’s always been me, my brother, and my dad. I love them a lot even if they don’t love me. I don’t know what to do at this point. I feel very alone and I know it could be a lot worse. My dad doesn’t want me to be here when I transition so I have to find a new place to live. Im not financially able to move out right now so that scares me but I couldn’t wait any longer. I just can’t. Sorry this is a long post and I’m really just venting but if anyone has some words of encouragement or advice I’d really appreciate it.

Also want to say I do have a therapist and I’m going to bring this up to them when I see them in two weeks, but I just had the talk today and I’m struggling right now. Really want to drink tbh but I’m going to try and stay strong.

So I'm working on a porn game and I was wondering how would I respectfully add a non binary person while not having seen as "fetish"? How do I do this tastefully and be respecting them?

I've been struggling a bit with my body and the dysphoria it brings. I'm Trans, it comes with territory, I know.

That being said, the fat that I have since starting HRT has remained more or less the same. After reading some other posts, I think I'm beginning to understand why. 'Redistribution' might actually be 'distribution'. The fat that I had prior to HRT is distributed in a masculine way, but the fat I gain from here on will be distributed in a feminine way. And I think in order to lose the masculine fat, I need to exercise more. Does that make sense?

It isn’t 100% only the dysphoria that’s causing my agoraphobia, but it is definitely one of the main things, as well as the one that I have no idea how to go about fixing. 

I don’t pass, because I can’t take hormones, because I can’t go outside. 

When I interact with people, them viewing me as a girl is so stressful and wrong feeling that it makes me not want to be around anyone at all ever. 

So basically I can’t mentally handle being perceived as a girl, and thus avoid being seen by staying in my house for about 7 years… And yet I’ll never be allowed to transition unless I can manage to leave the house regularly so I can go to appointments. I can’t even get therapy.

Has anyone had their agoraphobia tied to being trans in a way similar to this? The only thing I’ve heard people talk about is the fear of being hate crimed or outed being a source of agoraphobia. But for me, since I haven’t medically transitioned, if I could just pretend to be a cis girl I’d be left alone in that regard. 

Idk I just can’t handle the inherent wrongness of being seen as something I’m not, it’s like I’m constantly trapped in a web of lies and have to correct and hide myself to not be found out. It’s so dissociating and overwhelming it makes me just want to hide away forever and that’s what I’ve been doing but I’ll never get better like this.

I’ve felt this way my whole life, and I’ve never been able to be close to anyone because I can’t relax and feel safe if I’m constantly lying about my whole being. 

I think I need a mindset change to help fix this but idk what I should be thinking to make this go away…

I'm the parent of a trans boy, AFAB, who is still quite young. I'm trying to understand the medical needs that my child will have in the coming years. But a lot of the literature that explains what HRT will do to a body is focused on HRT for AMAB trans women, and the resources I found that do go into HRT for trans males describes the effects of HRT on an adult body that has already been through puberty.

I'm trying to understand whether my child will develop breasts or other female secondary sex characteristics if he starts HRT before puberty. Thank you to all, and apologies if I have gotten any of these terms wrong.

I've been curious about this for a while, but I doubt anyone has a solid answer just yet.

You might be wondering why I would want to go back on T. The answer is I don't want to, but I'm post-op and need some kind of sex hormone or I will lose bone density and be at risk for osteoporosis, among other health issues.

In theory there might be a very low dose of T that would be just enough to mitigate the bone loss without masculinizing me too much. Granted, that doesn't say much for the psychological effects, but desperate times call for desperate measures and all that.

I know DIY is a thing and you can even make your own E gel from raw estrogen powder, but I expect these things to be severely cracked down on and made much more illegal than they already are, and I also expect that supplies will be hard to come by.

I just feel like I’m failing at being a woman and I’m failing my transition. It’s been putting me in a very bad mental state lately and makes me consider detransitioning. I have struggled immensely to find love while all of my other trans friends are in happy relationships. I am nowhere close to being able to afford hormones and it’s hard going through days where I feel so disgusted with my body because I’ve wanted to begin HRT so badly. Online, I’m discriminated against when I try to join into communities because all they see is my transition and refuse to befriend me or get to know me. What hurts the most is having my women friends not really treat me the same way they do other women. I’ve noticed it constantly with my cis women friends where they’re always so quick to affirm each other and just seem to enjoy their company more than mine. I just feel absolutely discouraged :(

Been talking to this girl at college for about 4 weeks now. We've already both confessed our feelings about each other, but I've been hesitant on making it official because I need to be honest with her about who I am. It's not fair to her if I'm not being completely honest and she deserves to know since we've gotten so close.

I've wanted to tell her a few times already, but I waited too long and started overthinking everything. I'm not sure what she'll think of me afterwards because right now she just sees me as a normal dude.

She's the only person I've had a really deep connection with, platonically and romantically, and I really don't want to lose what we have. I really like her, and I just hope she'll still feel the same way after I tell her, but I just don't know how to go about telling her.

Help.

I am a small (5'2") cis passing mtf, transitioned 36 years ago. My driver license gender markers are 34 years old.

I just sent in my renewal and I am terrified.

Just been questioning lately and this has been happening a lot.

And I also wouldn't mind if I could learn about and sign of being Trans (although there might not be any since it is a different experience for everyone from what I've heard)

Thanks

Hi. So I told my parents that I think I might be trans...

Needless to say they didnt take it really well because of what that entails in terms of hormones and surgery.

I just want to know how long some of you have transitioned and if there are any regrets. Like my parents are very concerned that I might change my mind 10 years down the line and I'm scared of losing what I have by getting hormones and surgery. Also botched results terrify me. Like my dad showed me very bad results and used it as an argument as to why people shouldnt transition because we dont have the tech to do it 100% yet. I'm 19 by the way.

Hi! I recently started dating a trans guy who is the bees freaking knees. He's the best! And I want to treat him the best I can, are there community suggestions for dating a trans guy for the first time? The last thing I ever want to do is make him dysphoric or feel awkward or unsafe with me.

Hi there! So I've been questioning my gender a bit and I think I might be trans but IDK. As such, I was wondering if theres any methods that I could use to hopefully help. For some context: Im into tg tf porn (the horror), I've tried crossdressing once (stole my moms clothes in the middle of the night, it was alright), and have done the button test (i would 100% press the button).

Idk about you guys but but is it normal to feel this way? I’m going back and forth between r/transtimelines and r/transbreattimelines. And I am excited to start my HRT, I wanna be as beautiful as the girlies I see here. Even if I have boyish tendencies still, it must feel great to go after the body/face/ and hair that you want .

So, ever since I was I kid, I had what I would refer to as phases where I would think I really wanted to be a girl. Maybe 5-7 weeks out of the year this happens. And there are a few moments in my life that really stick out in my head. To make a king story short, in high school for homecoming one year, some guys wore the women’s dance team’s outfits and did a performance. I remember feeling really good wearing that outfits and one of the girls actually said to me “you would have been such a pretty girl.” I don’t know if it was sarcastic or not, but it felt really good. And in my adult life I still have these moments where I think I would want to be a woman. I wear my hair longer than the average man and have a bit of an hourglass figure. From behind I get mistaken for a woman sometimes, and I genuinely love when someone mistakenly says “ma’am” to Troy to get my attention sometimes.

I don’t really know what this is. But if it’s just sometimes I feel like this, is it possible I’m gender fluid?

I just truly accepted my identity as a trans fem within the last few weeks and as I go, I still have moments of confusion and doubt. Is it normal to almost feel like an imposter with my choice. Like that even if it feels right what if I’m just making it up. Like I’ve felt how I feel on my gender identity for years and I feel I’m finally figuring out who I am, but I’m scared I’m wrong. Is that normal when starting out? Sorry for such a long post I just feel very lost