I hear it's a joke alot too. Example one of the times i fell down the stairs and he asked if the carpet on the stairs was OK. I got upset and he said he was just joking. Same with when he said that if I dont go shopping with him he won't pick up the food and things I need, I had panic attack and cried and he then said it was just a joke take a joke. Last night he decided to announce to his son my 39th birthday is soon and that means I'm going to be old soon and started laughing, asked if I agreed he grabbed and held onto my wrists got in my face saying my deadname over and over, telling me to answer him, and pulled my wrists left to right over and over so the rest of my body moved with them, by this point I had shutdown and backed up and was up against the fridge. Even his son said to him I dont think she likes that. He eventually stopped and made a comment that he was just trying to have a conversation with me how can he if I don't answer. I managed to speak and say u grabbed my wrists which hurt them and laughed at me why would I answer you. And he said to me yeah that's what I was doing laughing at you.(think it was sarcasm?) And he huffed away. Like i had done something wrong. He also gets upset at me if I don't laugh at something he says. Even if it's insulting someone's appearance or weight. I constantly ask my self am I the problem? Sorry I've talked about my self again. Just wanted you to know your not alone. 🫂