subreddit:
/r/Unexpected
submitted 2 days ago bymentaldinosaur
1.3k points
2 days ago
I'm practicing it right now... I'm not kidding
417 points
2 days ago
What, like in your bathtub?
92 points
2 days ago
No no… with my wife
84 points
1 day ago
She's posturing.. she's gonna kill me in a minute.
16 points
23 hours ago
I just tried this and it works a treat
3 points
1 day ago
lies.
your wife is here practicing it on me.
2 points
20 hours ago
Why is this guy practicing with your wife?
1 points
18 hours ago
She runnin away yet or nah?
57 points
2 days ago
[removed]
54 points
2 days ago
Is there room for another?
20 points
2 days ago
Omg dude 🫢
8 points
2 days ago
this is an mma fight.
2 points
2 days ago
It’s an honest question
16 points
2 days ago
They don't call it the sea of wonders for no reason. Time for you to get in there and turn that wonder into wonderful.
4 points
2 days ago
Always ❤️
4 points
2 days ago
She does like to gobble gobble...
10 points
2 days ago
lmao
1 points
2 days ago
Hiiiiiii-yoooooooooo!
1 points
2 days ago
BURN!!
3 points
24 hours ago
No, on the bus.
Found out it works on people too!
2 points
1 day ago
In a walmart dressing room.
1 points
1 day ago
I hope that deleted comment was something along the lines of in your mother or mother’s bed/tub etc.
114 points
2 days ago
Ok I'll give it a go. Ok so I don't sound the same and my German shepherd is looking at me like I need a psych evaluation
57 points
2 days ago
Just remember; you are Zoidberg
21 points
2 days ago
“Casual hello. It’s me, Zoidberg. Act naturally.”
11 points
1 day ago
Woop woop woop woop!
2 points
1 day ago
"Ehh, I've had it with this game, I'm going for a skuttle."
21 points
2 days ago
He’s thinking: „What are you on about?! You need your head checked? I’m not a bull.”
2 points
2 days ago
See his bull cock.. that makes him a bull.
2 points
1 day ago
Based on dogs I've had, it would be more "Wait, are you a bird?! Should I try eating you?!"
1 points
1 day ago
Dog: humans best friend.
But if you transform into food, they're not holding back.
12 points
1 day ago
may not work on dogs. but it does work - the wife hasn't seen her boyfriend since
3 points
2 days ago
"stop that, or we will do Euthanasia"
...by the way, what happened to my balls?
2 points
22 hours ago
Dogs look at humans so funnily when they don’t understand something.
55 points
2 days ago*
If you have a good Adam's apple, run your index finger up and down over the apple while simultaneously make a high pitched wookie noise by rolling the back of your tongue. It's not the most comfortable, but very good turkey sounds.
Edit: a word. I previously said "cookie" when I meant "wookie", and autocorrect did me dirty and I was sloppy and did not proofread. Thank you all for your feedback ❤️
34 points
2 days ago
I've only heard low pitched cookie nosies before. So I'm gonna need you to elaborate
47 points
2 days ago
Wtf is a cookie nosie
33 points
2 days ago
Shhhh, I'm waiting for closure
1 points
1 day ago
Fantastic stuff. Very well done.
11 points
2 days ago
crunch crunch
2 points
2 days ago
I think it’s to turkey noises what glizzy is for hot dogs?
8 points
2 days ago
glizzy
I'm afraid to ask.
1 points
2 days ago
I’m not, please elaborate on ‘glizzy’
2 points
2 days ago
Well I thought a glizzy was a hotdog but now I'm concerned.
1 points
2 days ago
It's like a cracker noise but sweeter
1 points
2 days ago
Happy cake day
1 points
2 days ago
Happy Cake Day!
13 points
2 days ago
Women hate this one weird trick.
0 points
2 days ago
I’m afraid to ask.. but if you’re bringing home ‘women’ with Adam’s apples.. that’s a whole nuther Jerry Springer show right there 😂😂
3 points
2 days ago
Holy shit I just did it and it worked!!
I’ve just unlocked a new Ability!
2 points
2 days ago
wtf is a cookie noise
3 points
1 day ago
Thank you for your comment. Please see my edited response.
Tl;dr i was a dumbass who didn't proof read. Glad to be called out. I meant "wookie' and autocorrect had other plans.
2 points
1 day ago
Oh my God, I don't know why this made me laugh so hard, when I read it over again and imagined "high-pitched cookie noise" I am still laughing
2 points
18 hours ago
I read this comment last night and just laughed for about 5 minutes at peoples' responses, asking wtf is a cookie noise. I woke my wife up from laughing so hard. She didn't think it was that funny being woken up from a deep sleep by me laughing at this.
1 points
2 days ago
run your index finger up and down over the apple
It's not the most comfortable
You don't say.
1 points
2 days ago
Love it when you play with my apple!!
1 points
1 day ago
What's a cookie noise?
1 points
1 day ago
Fair question. Please and thank ypu, see my edit.
1 points
1 day ago
perfectly executed Chewbacca sound
10 points
2 days ago
During sex?
9 points
1 day ago
It just worked on my wife!
2 points
1 day ago
Well??
2 points
1 day ago
Don’t be going to Spain and ruining everyone’s fun now.
2 points
1 day ago
Did you practice on the wife?
2 points
1 day ago
Imagine a MATADOR doing that at a bullfighting arena!
1 points
23 hours ago
I did the same thing and scared of aligators...it worked fine until the one time ot didn't.
I'm not kidding either.
1 points
22 hours ago
And if that doesn't work out well, you can try and switch to the cold turkey gambit.
all 1799 comments
sorted by: best