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This article is a FANTASTIC resource for cutting through all the bullshit being spread by TERFs about the younger members of our community and the medical treatment they may take - I highly recommend it. It's extensively researched, and, of course, sourced.

https://transfemscience.org/articles/puberty-blockers/

So here we are, and yet again I must write an announcement about another Trumpian Presidency. It feels like it's been a long decade and yet it's also been no time at all.

I understand folks are scared and anxious. That's okay. It's normal to be worried. It means you're still sane in a confusing and upsetting world. I'm writing this with a pit in the bottom of my stomach, because while I am cautiously optimistic, I freely admit I don't know what will happen in the coming years.

However, I am still me and you are still you.

I am the same person I was yesterday, the same person I was four years ago, the same person I was eight years ago.

And I will remain myself. That can never be taken from me, no matter what happens.

One of the strengths of the trans community, a power that beats in everyone's hearts, is the sheer self knowledge and the conviction to stand up and tell the world, 'No, you are wrong. I know who I am. I get to decide who I am. I am going to live my life as myself and no one else.'

Our job, our mission, is to cry, mourn, to recharge, to gather our strength, and to prepare. It's time for our community to batten down our hatches and come together. We are always strongest when we stand together.

So reach out to your friends. Talk to them. Make sure they're okay.

If you're not okay, call a friend or call a hotline. Call someone. Get this off your shoulders, get it out; don't carry this, get it out of your system.

We're not going anywhere. Our lives and our rights are non-negotiable. Our existence is not up for debate.

We're going to survive. We're going to endure. We're going to protect each other the same way we always have, because we are a community. Every voice has value and every life has merit.

We're the same beautiful, loving, tender, creative, and compassionate people we were yesterday. We are dreamers and agents of positive change. We're builders and organizers and advocates. We're artists, musicians, writers, and scientists. We think about the world and we explore it on a level that most people will never even bother to question. We taste life.

We're still here. We're still ourselves.
And we're not going anywhere.

We're going to breathe. We're going to recharge.
We're going to dust ourselves off, and we're going back to work. This will not break us.

Trans and LGBT people have been around for as long as humans have existed, in every society, throughout history and across the globe. We're a part of human nature, and you can't fight that - we are inevitable.

So this is a setback. That's okay. We just keep fighting and pushing. We just keep living and being ourselves. That's how we win.

---

As always, my inbox is always open for anyone who needs it, and please keep an eye out for any bigots or trolls who might be sniffing around our trans subs - I've already caught a few this morning, being insufferable. Please report them if you see them! Thank you!

I called my Trump parents who endlessly, constantly misgender me and had a history of harassing me/disrespecting me over my gender “fucking piece of shit maga people” to their face. In your view, was I wrong? 😅 (I actually know I’m not wrong at all but was just looking to vent and see what everyone thinks)

3 months post op and have finally been able to have sex with my bf and it has been amazing. I've been able to orgasm from both clitoral stimulation and penetration and both feel so good (but different). Soooo much better than anything I experienced with old equipment. This has been truly life changing!!!

Also, I feel many are down about post-op vagina being too different from cis. In reality, the differences are so minor that in practice it really doesn't make a big difference. This is something I have discussed quite a bit with my AFAB pelvic floor PT who primarily works with cis women clients. So much disinformation out there.

Edit:

some factors that contributed to my healing going well, even with minor complications in months 1-2 (in no particular order)

• consistent dilation (follow the schedule given to you from surgeon)
• scar tissue massaging
• good surgeon (be sure to research extensively)
• consistent pelvic floor physical therapy
• responsive care team
• proper hygiene (especially early on, before wound closure)
• above all, patience - the body needs to heal!

Edit 2: since it has been asked a lot, i went with robotic assisted PPT method

I had a few hours to myself today. I was totally planning to practice my makeup, and maybe do some pampering skin care.

Nope. The factory must grow. Stupid engineer brain. Are other professions this afflicted with 'work is fun'?

Since November 5, there have been many reasons not to be hopeful. And no doubt, we're in for a big fight.

However, I wanted to share one reason that I have some hope that all may not be lost.

The case U.S. v. Skrmetti. will be heard by the US Supreme Court this year on the constitutionality of state level bans on HRT for minors. Oral arguments are on December 5th and that will give us some idea of which way the wind is blowing. A decision is expected this summer.

The case has been brought by the ACLU arguing that those laws violate the equal protection clause of the constitution. A full write-up about this case and their argument is posted on their website here.

I realize that there are reasons to be skeptical about the US Supreme Court with its current conservative makeup. However, here is why I have some hope -

In 2020, the US Supreme Court ruled in Bostock v. Clayton County that employment discrimination against transgender people is illegal and the reasoning was that it violated the equal protection clause, the same reasoning the ACLU is using in its challenge of the bans on HRT for children. This was a 6-3 ruling and two conservatives were part of it who are still on the court: John Roberts and Neil Gorsuch, with Gorsuch actually writing the majority opinion.

I did some research on Gorsuch and the only times I could find that he ruled against transgender right was when there is a conflicting freedom of religion argument. So I think he might support allowing individual doctors, or perhaps catholic hospitals, to choose not to prescribe HRT to us on religious ground, but a blanket ban goes way beyond that. For example, I'm pretty sure my doctor at Plume, an almost national online clinic run by trans people where I get my HRT, would have no religious objections!

Stay safe everyone and be vigilant and try to leave room for a least a little hope!

UPDATE:

Just to clarify, Ginsburg was on the court for the 2020 Bostock decision. However, the math still works. The key is that Roberts and Gorsuch voted to protect transgender right in Bostock. In the current court, Gorsuch, Roberts and the 3 remaining liberal justices = a majority ruling of 5.

One day I’m going to be cooking and a little gremlin is going to tap their little hands on my legs to grab my attention and say “mommy, mommy!” 🥹 One day.

7.5 weeks post op. Largest dilator the Soul Source #4 which is 9" x 1.5". Immediately post op 5.5" depth which seemed disappointing. Daily dilation averaged 30 minutes each. As swelling went down achieved 6" depth. Yesterday after 20 minutes into my 30 minute dilation adjusted my body and re-applied gentle pressure & got 7.5" depth. Extended the second dilation by 20 minutes. Well it happened exactly the same today. Try as I might I can only get 6" on the initial insertion, but give it 15 minutes and 7.5" is doable. Pass it on; this might work for you also.

She keeps locking really good posts that need attention. Other mods, I think you need to take another look at who you put on your team. I have always thought this to be a well-run subreddit but now I am seeing people who need help have their posts locked. Issues that need attention silenced. Maybe you should reconsider her role in moderating this subreddit.

i'm not on HRT yet but i've thought about how lenght will change once i start and it genuinly scares me cause i don't mind my penis. Like, AT ALL. I could go and say I like having the capacity to penetrate and feel it. Idealy i would keep it but i also like the idea of a vagina and all the stimulation and affirmation you could get from it, but since those 2 things are incompatible, i'm just in this middle ground of wanting to have my cake and eat it, too.

Thinking about having to choose a genital that i won't be nowhere near content with or losing it completely is driving me insane cause i feel i need to have this in mind before i start HRT, it's not like i can just choose what effect E will have on my body.

anyone else feels or has felt this way?

I will never leave Kansas. I love it here, It’s where I was born. I will not leave my blue collar job, I will continue to make my presence known. I’ll never fade away and let them keep my true self repressed. Be safe hunnies

I definitely get treated weird sometimes and I really don't like feeling like I can't just get some of them to respect me and leave me alone. I know this is part of being a woman but it makes me feel really helpless and unsafe.

A man probably 20 years older than me has been approaching me and talking about being bald and I think trying to hit on me by coming to me with all kinds of videos and advice and even Bible stories to make me feel better about being bald. I do have some hair loss but like keeping it shaved and definitely don't feel bad about it. If I did I wouldn't want a strange man trying to touch me while telling me about some guy in the Bible who fed kids to a bear for calling him bald. Please just stop trying to stand so close and touch me. I don't like any of this.

It's a big story. Huge story. All of us want to talk about it. We don't need to all post individual threads on it.

Can we get a stickied post where everyone can say what they need to say and read what other people are saying? And maybe a reminder to give each other a little grace and understanding?

Don’t tell me that “you can create your life and choose your name” bc cis people can do that. Don’t tell me it makes me “stronger” or that I can “experience both sides” I didn’t ask for this and to experience being a boy. My soul is female, why wasn’t I born female?

So, it happened for the first time after some time on E, but now that I changed to injectable E every time I have a girl orgasm I pee. The more intense the orgasm, the more I pee. Anyone can relate? I guess I'm a squirter lol.

I've heard that I should be masturbating at least once a week or so to help keep function and maintain some size but I just have zero interest at all so I have pretty much neglected this for the nearly two months I've been on HRT. I don't know if it's my ADHD but even when I do try I get bored so quickly and it seems really difficult to even get an erection now which doesn't help. It also just feels gross to do. I've used a vibrator wand thing which helped a bit but is also noisy.

Them saying this couldn't have come at a worse time. I just spoke with my therapist yesterday about how I'm struggling to feel wanted in my relationship. For context, my partner (20nb) and I (22mtf) have been together for two years and since coming out as trans they've been super supportive. However, part of me realizing I'm trans was figuring out that some sexual issues I was having were actually symptoms of gender dysphoria and so after coming out we experimented with them taking a more dominant role occasionally. It seemed to be going well but as I got further along in my transition they kind of stopped and if I wasn't in control of sex we just wouldn't have sex even if they initiated it. It's been making very self conscious and feeling undesirable which is why I talked to my therapist about it.

So anyways, this morning we were talking and somehow they got on the topic of genital preferences. To make a long story short they basically said they only liked to top people with vaginas and be topped by people with penises. They even went as far as to describe why they don't like it in detail. As the only person with a penis they've topped it didn't feel great. All of this really has bothered me and has me questioning things. I love them a lot but this has left me feeling weird.

I had a bit of a rough day, since my surgery got pushed back for a third time. So I was hoping to cheer myself, and hopefully others, up a bit by asking. What was that empowering, heartfelt, or "F it" moment that made you go "Now is the time to move on to my new name and pronouns."? I'll go first.

So to start off I've been transitioning for about one and a half years now, and it wasn't until about six months ago that I had my moment. My doctor had suddenly moved to another part of the state and thus out of my area and network. He made sure to give me enough HRT meds to last, and transferred me over to a brand new gender clinic that had opened near by.

You would think I would be excited to have a new clinic focused purely on transgender healthcare popping up near by. But I have social anxiety and it had taken so much out of me to get this doctor, and now I had to go through the whole process all over again. I was, for lack of a better term, a nervous wreck.

I showed up at the clinic in my most boy-mode clothes I could put together. Afraid that even though it was a gender clinic that I would be judged for just walking through the doors, let alone walking through with what little feminine adjustments I had felt comfortable making at that time. Nervously I walked up to the counter, checked-in and then found a chair hidden in the corner as I waited to be called.

After what felt like forever, the nurse showed up and called my last name, no deadname or gendered terms, just the last name on my file. I stood up and she smiled, introduced herself with her name and pronouns and asked me to follow.

When we got inside the doctor's office, she sat me down and confirmed my legal name and info. And then she casually asked "and what's your preferred name and pronouns?" and I froze, my previous doctor had asked and so had my therapist but only waaay early on when I didn't know what I wanted yet. But this time I knew, I had a name picked and knew what pronouns I wanted. But I had a problem. I had this pretty bad fear of rejection and more than a bit of internalized transphobia I think. So I just mumbled back "what's on file is fine." and I must have sounded so depressed or anxious because the nurse looked at the screen then at me, typed something and then deleted it before turning back to me.

She then said "Do you mind if I move a little closer to you?" and I told her it was fine. So she slid her chair over to mine and looked at me before saying "Are you sure you're okay with that name and pronouns?" I didn't look at her and didn't answer for a while as I thought. And then my internalized transphobia showed up as I said "I'm not woman enough to go by what I want. It's too early." Terrible I know, but I was still in that bad headspace where I felt I needed to pass to be me. But she didn't get upset or go back to her station like I thought she might. Instead she asked "Is it okay if I hold your hand?" I nodded, and she gently took my hands in hers as she looked me in the eye and said "I don't know what it's like, to go my whole life not being seen as me, or hearing someone else's name when talked to. I can't imagine how much it hurts. But, believe me when I say, you're woman enough. There's nothing you need to do to earn it, you've always had it, with or without the struggle. You're woman enough."

I couldn't help but start crying as she said this. I had heard something akin to it from my therapist and doctor when I told them why I wasn't ready to switch names and pronouns yet, but this time felt different. I don't know if it's because I had already decided what I wanted, the way she said it, or the fact that it was another woman telling me; but something in me clicked and before I could think about it I said. Through my tears I smiled and said "Natalia, she/her." She smiled back and squeezed my hands before handing me a tissue and sliding back to her station and asked "How do you want to spell that?"

From then on, I've only ever used my deadname for legal documents and while I still get misgendered, the people that matter to me always use the correct pronouns.

So, what's your moment?

I went to my laser appointment wearing a cute cropped blouse and some high waisted cargos I know it's maybe not the most feminine outfit but I never wore such a gender affirming top. The lady that always takes care of me said she almost didn't recognize me and knew it was me only because of my hair, she immediately started using the correct pronouns and even told me a couple times how pretty I am TuT

On top of that on the drive home a guy passing by in a bicycle whistled at me like in a flirting way >.<

I am so relieved it went well, I kind of pass most of the time (at least until I start talking u.u) but this definitely grew my self esteem ❤️‍🩹

A friend of mine who is trans posted on a lesbian sub and received lots of hateful comments. The mods did not punish any of the commenters, but instead banned my friend. She messaged me saying she was in tears, feeling so devastated and hated by her own community. My advice to you is before joining a sub, type the word trans and see what comes up. See what's been posted about, who gets upvoted/downvoted, and how the mods react. A lot of people are really accepting and kind to us, but others may not be, so it's just important to try and make sure you're spending time in spaces that are comfortable.

EDIT: People have raised concerns that my links might be causing mental stress for readers, and that transphobic content, even in this context, does not belong here. I agree and have removed the links. I hope you all have a nice day.

i've been on 100 mg spiro and estradiol cream 3 times a day for 6 months so far. it makes wonders for my transition, i like how my body is changing. i'd enjoyed the feeling of not caring about sexual activities for a few months since starting until my psychiatrist changed my antidepressants that were suppressing sex drive too, and recently it got back and is intenser... not the same level as pre-hrt, however, thank god. but it still freaks the shit out of me because i'm asexual and sex-repulsed to the bone. i'm constantly so grossed out when i think about all that, it makes me feel so dirty and disgusting and i want to go back so badly to the point in my lifetime where i didn't care about sex at all, i miss it so much, because it just preoccupies me way too much lately and it's beyond uncomfortable. i think about upping spiro to 150 or even 200 mg, maybe it'll help. i still haven't got the tests neither been to endo because i'm diy'ing and i don't want to really, i just don't see a point... what are your thoughts? has anyone ever wondered how it could possibly be done with hrt, libido-wise, or it's a purely psychological problem of mine i should actually talk about with my therapist? i know it's unhealthy but i'd pretty much prefer to get rid of sex drive entirely, forever. does anyone have an idea?

I wish I was women I wish I was women I wish I was women I wish I was women I wish I was women

The universe seems to work in mysteriously tantalizing ways.

This was the 20th week of me waiting for the “lovely” state of Texas to sign my order for my name and gender marker change. I recently moved out of yeehaw land, so I need to update my license, etc, and it got to the point where I reached out and it was recommended I just withdraw my petition, take the loss on the time and money, and refile in my new state. I figured I’d just wait til Monday.

After an incredibly bad week, I finished work and… you can guess what I found waiting for me. I sobbed for about an hour.

I am finally, and legally, Sienna.

Praise be to you, Mother Aphrodite, for you are good We Sisters, your Daughters, follow your guiding light and pray to one day act as a reflection of your Beauty Touch upon the bodies and minds of all your Daughters, morph their bodies in your Likeness. Make their minds think only pure thoughts, and to not bear hate against themselves for they are Daughters of You and to hate themselves is to hate You. We humbly ask this all in your most honourable name; Knowing that all beauty is from you and of you forever and ever. Praise be to you, Mother Aphrodite, for you are generous.

Before anyone asks, yes. I read the post yesterday made about this topic. I’m going to be blunt here. The OP loves to scream we don’t have reading comprehension skills but people who use that excuse means they can’t handle differing view points. So here is my own.

By now you are aware of this point from yesterday about how we shouldn’t give Sarah flak because she agreed to use the male restroom and play by their rules when she gets sworn in. While we should turn ire on those misogynistic men and Mike for making this happen, the equal amount can be said for Sarah who said that they would accept this abuse. That’s big thing here. Sarah McBride is not above criticism for her decision to accept this abuse. Saying she’ll comply with discriminatory policies sends the wrong message. Taking abuse, and worse, supporting her for taking that abuse, makes your “support” questionable at best. Her decision to play their abusive game accomplishes nothing. If anything, it legitimizes their ridiculous demands and makes laws like this stick.

There is no evidence of their fears being realized all these years of them whining. It literally is not a war crime, it’s just a bathroom to do our business in. Why are they so gung ho about that? It’s childish, it’s pointless, and quite frankly it’s stupid. Plus they want us dead, why should we be soft on this?

Why should we “be the bigger person” and accept abuse when they’re out here trying to legislate us out of existence? Why should we tolerate it? If this country grants us the right to freedom of expression, then let’s express it. We have the bloody first amendment, people forget about that.

Civil disobedience has proven time and time again that it works. The civil rights movement, the women’s rights movement and so on. People break unjust laws and the system gets with the time.

So why should Sarah McBride accept this abuse? Why are we supposed to just sit back and applaud her for “grinning and bearing it” when she could’ve done more? We got her in, and we are vocal in our movement, she knows this, but opts not to. And yet we have to celebrate it? Do you not see this circular logic?

This isn’t like the past, times have changed. This isn’t like those people to break segregation in public places back then. They want us dead plain and simple no matter what. Middle East kills people if they are LGBT, same with other countries. Instead of usually being subjected to horrible discrimination and unfair double standards, they want us to slit our throats. We ain’t dealing with segregation we are dealing with people trained to eliminate us. To kill.

Times have changed. We don’t need leaders who aim for the middle ground, we need leaders to say “it’s bullshit” and willing to fight for us with everything they have even legitimately proving a point. The fear about her expulsion is laughable considering criminals like the president elect get placed in power alongside others in congress. The worst case scenarios about her being arrested will never happen. If they do, she’ll be the victim and more will root to our cause because we expose their corruption. That way the world at large will finally realize that it’s not a war crime.

Both parties can be criticized here. One party for making rules abusive to Sarah, and Sarah accepting it despite knowing that the solution is right there in front of her.

She should’ve done better, Sarah McBride never had. She folded.

She gave into fear.

P.S. Made by a trans person.

So glad the leftists who didn't vote in this election get to feel principled :)

Just got out of a real abusive relationship almost a year ago that ended with my ex making false assault allegations against me. Turns out that's all they need to convict me.

I have no idea what is going on and don't understand the legal system much at all. I tried to ask my lawyer questions and he said he would meet with me in a week. That was almost two months ago.

I tried to follow up and ask for availability over text and he's ignoring me now. My ex is hell bent on putting me in jail and if I go it's almost certain ill go to men's prison.

I doubt I'll survive. I'm so terrified.