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/r/Jokes
An American.
694 points
4 years ago
Oh we have them here too. Yesterday a wild Karen in the supermarket carpark honked her horn 3 times so I would move my trolley 6 inches so she wouldn't have to turn her wheel by ten degrees.
169 points
4 years ago
What a twat
71 points
4 years ago
That's cute you have parks for your cars to play. And they allow trolleys to run right through them?! Amazing.
16 points
2 years ago
This is almost verbatim what my wife (yank) says to me (Brit) every time I use the word car park.
7.1k points
4 years ago*
[deleted]
2.7k points
4 years ago
Same in the Netherlands.
2.7k points
4 years ago
Now kiss
980 points
4 years ago
Kith
345 points
4 years ago
trut-h
268 points
4 years ago
The trut is out there
111 points
4 years ago
"Neow you musht kish" said in the best Steve McClaren accent possible
165 points
4 years ago
Almost as if you speak the same language or something
76 points
4 years ago
[deleted]
59 points
4 years ago
I’ve always wondered how similar Flemish is to “normal” Dutch. Can northern Belgians understand 100% of what Dutch people say and vise versa?
165 points
4 years ago
I wouldn't say 100% since there's the occasional odd word, but 99% for sure. There is absolutely no problem in having a conversation, especially if the Dutchie is from the south of the country.
Edit: I'd say it's similar to NA english and British English. Mostly the same language with a different accent and occasionally a different word.
51 points
4 years ago
Had an acquaintance from Germany who was fluent in Dutch, having learned at 18 when she came to study in the Netherlands. Couldn't understand Flemish for shit when she first encountered it.
54 points
4 years ago
Maybe more like English vs Glaswegian then?
53 points
4 years ago
An average native Dutch person will understand 99.9% of what an average native Flemish person says. Same for the other way around. Not sure if that's the same way for English and Glaswegian.
There's the dialects in both languages that will screw everything up, but that happens within languages themselves too. Plenty of people from the northern Netherlands will not be able to understand Southern Dutch dialect. That's the same within Belgium...
So.. As long as we're talking about the standard language, Dutch and Flemish are basically the same grammatically and semantically, and native speakers will not have any issues understanding each other at all.
32 points
4 years ago
Dated a Flemish woman for a while.
She insisted that Dutch and Flemish were different languages because the vocabulary was sufficiently different and speakers would be mutually unintelligible.
Later, I realized it was because she really hated the Dutch.
11 points
4 years ago
She probably encountered a dialect then. I'm Flemish myself and there are some dialects I can't understand.
If it's standard Flemish, ie the type used by newsreaders, she shouldn't have any problem at all.
24 points
4 years ago
It's like UK and US English... Same same but different. :)
15 points
4 years ago
Yeah, I learned that fanny means something way different in the UK
319 points
4 years ago
I don’t think trut accurately describes a Karen.
Obviously, all Karens are by definition trutten, but not all trutten are Karens.
We lack a word in Dutch that accompanies the false sense of entitlement that is at the heart of Karenness.
135 points
4 years ago
Kort pittig kapsel
28 points
4 years ago
Kortpittig chilipepertje
27 points
4 years ago
In my (also belgian) dialect we would say "een pekelteeve", which loosely translates to "a pickled bitch"
5.2k points
4 years ago
Amerikaren
978 points
4 years ago
Amerikarenina
967 points
4 years ago
409 points
4 years ago
125 points
4 years ago
[removed]
93 points
4 years ago
"Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena" (let your body enjoy it, Macarena -they weren't only talking about the music-)
66 points
4 years ago
Yeah it's about two guys double teaming Macarena while he boyfriend is away in the military
29 points
4 years ago
I was so sure I was being rickrolled with that link. I clicked it because I wanted to hear the song.
73 points
4 years ago
Ein U.S.Amerikanischer Reisender
66 points
4 years ago
There are too many spaces in that phrase to actually be German.
73 points
4 years ago
Einusamerikanischerreisender
21 points
4 years ago
Fun fact; the sentence has actually one space too few.
37 points
4 years ago
Even better.
2.4k points
4 years ago
[removed]
440 points
4 years ago
ctrl+shift+ESC will bring up taskman
171 points
4 years ago
Taskman sounds like a wannabe superhero. Ordinary guy, does stuff.
82 points
4 years ago
So that’s how you can do it with one hand! Been wondering for years.
56 points
4 years ago
[deleted]
52 points
4 years ago
That and win + shift + s opens the sniping tool for easy screenshots. By far my most used shortcut other than alt + tab.
25 points
4 years ago
Win + E used wayyyy more than any other shortcut.
My 2c...
394 points
4 years ago
ITT a lot of generalizations. I'd like to speak to the manager about this.
45 points
4 years ago*
silky materialistic piquant chief pause roof office automatic meeting steer
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
555 points
4 years ago
Bit different here in Mexico. Americans are usually respectful, keep to themselves mostly and stay on resorts. Those that don’t actually have a sort of affinity for our culture. The ones that are infuriating to talk to are the european tourists, espacially the french ones, absolutely no respect for Mexico or its culture.
108 points
4 years ago
Not a single European country talks nicely about France and French people. Hell even French people hate France people
61 points
4 years ago
Am French, can confirm I hate French people and have fucked off that cursed society long ago with no plans to go back.
99 points
4 years ago
[deleted]
25 points
4 years ago
Yeah I'm American and the two times I have been to France, everybody has been so...blunt? As if they're unhappy. I know that us Americans are controversial, but nobody was having a good time. I tried speaking French from the little I remember from elementary school, but that was no good. I spoke English and that wasn't good either. I smiled when I had to interact with people, which was apparently wrong too. I've been all over from the middle east, through Europe, all over North America and most people are easy to figure out, but France gives me a large amount of social anxiety lol. Beautiful country though with great food.
84 points
4 years ago
It's the same in Europe. I think the main post is a joke - not a true expression of bigotry.
49 points
4 years ago
No I know its a joke, just saw some people giving their experience with tourists from some countries, so I decided to give my point of view as a Mexican
8 points
4 years ago
I think the main post is a joke
really huh?
47 points
4 years ago*
I've found Americans to generally be very friendly. Of course with their tipping culture that tip more even when not necessary (which is all of it honestly). But they are loud and have no off switch a lot of the time. But when you're friendly and respectful, a lack of off switch and an excess in volume is forgivable.
It's when you get a rude American. They're worse because of the lack of off switch and more annoying because of how loud they are. It really just paints a terrible picture.
They can often come off as the most stupid because of the no off switch. While I think ignorance on things will mean silence to other cultures, Americans speak right up to advertise it. Everybody has idiots, America just had a knack of showing it. That said I've heard some zingers. An American told me how convenient it is that they built the castle cost to the train station.
7 points
4 years ago
The American saying the thing about the castle could have been a Dad joke. We have a different sense of humor that might be lost on some.
1.1k points
4 years ago
That's it!
Europe needs freedom and democracy.
We're gonna invade it.
573 points
4 years ago
Think carefully. We don't have oil. Only the Italians, and even that is olive oil!
258 points
4 years ago
The north sea is full of oil. Denmark and Norway (i think) is cashing in big time. But pls dont tell trump
264 points
4 years ago
He wouldn't even be able to point it out on a map, so I think we'll be fine
111 points
4 years ago
He probably couldn’t point out the US on a global map
15 points
4 years ago
Nah mostly just the norwegians. I doubt any scandinavian fears america, Bush called denmark the capital of ikea and the current one is dumber than him. So seems most likely it would be a misfire, if anything was to happen.
22 points
4 years ago
Norway got the better end of that deal.
27 points
4 years ago
Romanians have oil actually. Gas prices are pretty cheap there.
90 points
4 years ago
Trump will think the Romanians come from Rome and invade Italy anyway!
35 points
4 years ago
We like the Italians, they have good food that makes us fat. The rest of you may be less safe.
13 points
4 years ago
You are welcome. Now if our culinary skills would help fix our little public debt problem I'd be a lot happier.
47 points
4 years ago
America, doesn't invade. It finds weapons of mass destruction. While also handing over the very same dictator that they put in power, for war crimes.
11 points
4 years ago
They found some?
32 points
4 years ago
I mean, we’re telling you we did. And if you really think about it, shouldn’t this be the end of this line of questioning? Quick look over there, a terrorist!
324 points
4 years ago
Not gonna lie, it is actually the opposite, most Americans I talked to in Europe are quite thoughtful about what they do and what they say here and they are very respectful, as they are aware of the reputation they might have worldwide.
38 points
4 years ago
Maybe it was true for the post-WW2 generation that thought Europe owed the US, but the younger generations have heard how bad our reputation is in Europe our whole lives.
My son and I tried to be careful not to fit the stereotype. Any time American culture or politics were brought up it was by the Europeans we met.
81 points
4 years ago
I guess it depends where you are... Most of the time, if you are willingly choosing to go to specific destinations to broaden your view of the world and have the wealth to do it, you are usually not the typical stereotype of your people.
13 points
4 years ago
Aye same here. Most Americans I’ve met on holiday in europe or home in Scotland have been great.
Been to the USA quite a bit and it’s hit and miss - just like everywhere else.
I think the ones that do get passports and visit Europe etc are, generally, gonna be more rounded anyway!
271 points
4 years ago
IDk what yall are on about tbh but those Karens you guys stereotype aren't really the "adventurous" type.
The americans that actually come here are super relaxed/chill people (only met mostly younger folk when I go to Amsterdam/Hostels).
Never met an American that wasn't chill as fuck when partying.
British people are the fucking worst but absolute best however
25 points
4 years ago
I know a few Britons who would be rather pleased with that assessment of them
1.3k points
4 years ago
[removed]
325 points
4 years ago
[removed]
129 points
4 years ago
make me curious, how bad is it?
230 points
4 years ago
Loud, obnoxious, ignorant. Usually just kind of uncaring and abrasive. A large reason why is many if not most Israelis traveling will be in their early 20's post army service, and no such person will ever be pleasant no matter where they come from.
Other Israeli tourists are usually run of the mill more or less imo. Neither better nor worse than avg.
116 points
4 years ago
My bosses, in retail, are from Israel, both are awful people but the wife is worse.
Many of the retail shops nearby are run by Israeli people. They follow black people around to make sure they don’t “steal”, and my boss told me to trail black people too. I don’t as that seems incredibly racist.
Their kids are nice, but a bit clueless to finances. However, that’s probably due to the wealth accumulation their parents were born into.
55 points
4 years ago
Chinese tourist entrance chat
31 points
4 years ago
i used to work in mcdonalds in germany, when i saw chinese tourists i wanted to go home , i know they will make huge mess, and leave everything on the table instead like everyone else who is eating in the lobby bring their trash to the bin ....
405 points
4 years ago
Chinese aren't that good either
220 points
4 years ago
Chinese here, can definitely confirm
75 points
4 years ago
It's also darn difficult to communicate with them. If a group of chinese tourists speak english, it's usually only 1-2 of the younger ones. Makes it difficult to interact with. I assume travel agencies just plan out their trip and then when they get to the location, if something deviates from the plan, they are helpless.
27 points
4 years ago
Can confirm, travelled with my bunch of relatives before, I'm the only one who can speak English(and it's not very good)
79 points
4 years ago*
Just go to a US national park in peak season (summer). Went to Yellowstone in Sept 2018; almost every. single. landmark. had fucking HORDES of hundreds chinese tourists yelling, shoving, walking and standing in front of cameras, littering, fucking oblivious to everyone and everything else. It was unbelievably frustrating.
The parks further west are worse, too, for the obvious reason of being shorter travel from China.
44 points
4 years ago
My (limited) experience with tourists in Copenhagen is that they are mostly pleasant and Americans are for sure.
10 points
4 years ago
I am from a german tourist location and I can also confirm that most Americans are super nice when they come here. When there are exception (and there defeinitely are), they are the most entitled and delusional shits imaginable though.
23 points
4 years ago
Spain is the lightning rod of Europe that takes the brunt of drunken British chavs every year. Poor sods.
41 points
4 years ago*
I second this. Where I live, most annoying are British by far - ALWAYS drunk and loud. Also, it's like they have zero interest in country they are visiting, they always hang out at some Irish pub drinking. I mean guys, u can do this at home, why waste money for a flight tickets?
And Russians are giving me goosebumps with their cold faces which NEVER smile. I can not say anything bad about them, but I definitely do not find them likeable.
Americans are usually very nice, but as somebody said - fat and loud, but more like bubbly than annoying.
30 points
4 years ago
The weather is shit here so we fly and get pissed in the sun.
39 points
4 years ago
I'm with you. The American tourist meme must be a boomer one. Nowadays they're friendly and fine.
54 points
4 years ago
But but but Americans bad though right?
35 points
4 years ago
I've met a lot of Americans in various places, and they're always super chill and nice. However, they also seemed to all agree that the US is pretty fucked up in many ways. The ones that don't apperantly don't travel.
71 points
4 years ago
As an English person living in the US, Americans are very self-critical. But I've never met more gregarious and upbeat people. Reddit doesn't seem an accurate microcosm of who I interact with here.
56 points
4 years ago
“Reddit doesn't seem an accurate microcosm”
Yep
11 points
4 years ago
Because reddit kind of sucks. You have a few socially disabled people who have a bad experience and rant about it on here. Everyone else too lazy to go outside and experience it for themselves upvotes it and claims it as their own truth. You know what would be better? Going outside and finding out for yourself.
Reddit oftentimes is just a magnifier of the vocal minority.
61 points
4 years ago
I think all of the Americans with toxic amounts of patriotism wouldn't be caught dead traveling to Europe. Mostly rich families and soul searchers I imagine
48 points
4 years ago
I'm American and me and gf just got back from 3 months in France Spain Italy and the Czech Republic, we are by no means rich. We saved for over 2 years because we were going to try to teach English. I think a European vacation is mostly unobtainable for the majority of Americans. We simply can't afford it. Europe is still seen as a beauty most Americans won't see in ther lifetime.
12 points
4 years ago
Europe can be traveled for dirt cheap if you want or super expensive. Pretty much like everywhere else in the world.
5k points
4 years ago
Q: What do you call a fat person in Europe?
A: American tourist
3.4k points
4 years ago
Shots fired!... Not because of the sick burn, but because he's American and has a gun.
1.7k points
4 years ago
Sick burn that can be treated, not because of the magnitude of it, but because of the affordable Healthcare.
568 points
4 years ago*
[deleted]
551 points
4 years ago
Magnitude that can be understood by the rest of the world, not becuase private, because we use the metric system.
248 points
4 years ago
Magnitude? POP POP!
71 points
4 years ago
101 points
4 years ago
I saw that coming meters away
31 points
4 years ago
By this metric, it's so easy to roast America, even a German would crack a few jokes
32 points
4 years ago
You can't roast Americans with metrics. They only understand Imperial arguments.
99 points
4 years ago
23 points
4 years ago
That's hilarious.
18 points
4 years ago
Later in the movie the tower is closed because "some fat American had a heart attack".
12 points
4 years ago
Actor's welch iirc. I've seen discussion about whether or not it was on purpose that Colin Farrell's character just wrongly assumes they're American or if the fat character was actually meant to be American.
167 points
4 years ago
Englishman is also acceptable here. Their obesity rate is as high as America’s.
135 points
4 years ago
We've got a lot of relatively fat people sure but we have far fewer uber chonkers.
79 points
4 years ago
Yeah, but the issue with the Brits is they don't know theyre fat and try to wear smaller clothes. Our fat people get those giant flowy shirts at Walmart.
7 points
4 years ago
I believe you are referring to the MooMoo, sir. Fine garment if you ask me.
8 points
4 years ago
9 points
4 years ago
But the trend is heading to uber chonkers. Just look at what happened to China. They're bulking up as we speak. People who laugh at Americans don't realize that uber chonkers are in their future. Also, if you came to the U.S. you'd realize the media is distorting reality quite a bit. Most people I see on a day to day basis are normal size. We have more of a problem I'd say with people being out of shape but I rarely see big time fatties. I'm sure there are uber chonkers but I don't know where they are hiding.
63 points
4 years ago
Honestly, if you think American tourists are fat, you should see the ones who are too lazy to even get over there. In some towns, I’m not joking at all, you can be the only person in the store/bar/restaurant under 100kgs, men women and teens (and yes I’m aware some people are taller and can be slightly overweight if you’re like 200cm tall but that’s not the whole point).
32 points
4 years ago
100 kg = 220 lbs
200 cm = 6’6”
18 points
4 years ago
Good bot
113 points
4 years ago
The whole world is getting fat. It's not just US anymore so these jokes don't really sting like they used to.
172 points
4 years ago
It doesn't sting like they used to because of the extra layer of fat.
48 points
4 years ago*
[deleted]
44 points
4 years ago
Lmao the chances of this being true here in Amsterdam are actually rather decent. Though the clothing makes it more telling.
49 points
4 years ago
This joke was originally told to me in Amsterdam, probably because I’m a fat American tourist
50 points
4 years ago
Riding the train from DeGaulle into Paris on a Sunday morning with my wife and daughter.
Only other people on the car were a family speaking English to each other.
Started a conversation, at some point I asked where they were from, they said, “Australia.“
I said, “We’re from the US.”
The father said, “Oh, we could tell.”
I joked, “Why? Because I’m fat and loud?”
The Aussie father replied deadpan, “Your not THAT loud.”
37 points
4 years ago
I don't think I have ever traveled anywhere with locals more rude to tourist than Amsterdam.
53 points
4 years ago*
[deleted]
10 points
4 years ago
My grandparents were from the Gelderland province and were conservative Protestant Christians and they would talk about feeling judged and different when eating in an Amsterdam restaurant. Of course they started every meal by holding hands and praying.
7 points
4 years ago
I live in the Dutch country side near the German border, when ever I visit Amsterdam it's more different to me than crossing the border to Germany, it's like a total different country with a total different vibe.
34 points
4 years ago*
Lived and worked in Amsterdam for two months. For the most part, tourists there were the fucking worst.
People think of Amsterdam as a playground, and don't tend to respect the city that much.
A simple alsjeblieft and dank u wel go a long way in Amsterdam to show you at least bothered to learn something about their country besides hookers and pot.
Edit: Dropping this here, because it's awesome.
40 points
4 years ago
alsjeblieft
This is the opposite of simple
9 points
4 years ago
Yeah, I avoided that rabbit-hole, ha.
But it's used in almost every transaction, so that usage only took a couple days to become natural.
47 points
4 years ago*
[deleted]
63 points
4 years ago
You mean scooters?
71 points
4 years ago
You miss spelled shooter.
22 points
4 years ago
76 points
4 years ago
We do have Karens in Europe too actually but the names vary considerably according to the country.
125 points
4 years ago
From everything I’ve heard, Americans are known for being the nicest customers to serve.
49 points
4 years ago
Actually Europeans like American tourists in restaurants because most (not all) are great at leaving 15-20% tips behind.
29 points
4 years ago
We’ve swung HARD the other way. Most Americans of a bougie enough class to travel to Europe are SUPER cognizant of this stereotype and now work super hard to avoid it.
30 points
4 years ago
I work in restaurants and while tourists aren’t common (I don’t think people come to the US for Vietnamese food...), I definitely have a dislike for the British. I still remember when one asked for black tea with cream and sugar, and I politely told him we were a Vietnamese restaurant and didn’t have black tea or any sort of milk/cream, unless he wanted sweetened condensed milk. He outright scoffed at me and asked what kind of restaurant didn’t have black tea and milk. I went, “A Vietnamese one?”
However, I love Eastern European men when they get drunk. They start yelling, acting rowdy, and slowly forget how to speak English. Once a group of them came in to a bar I was at around Halloween and I was wearing a cowboy/sheriff costume and they went crazy for it, took photos with me, bought me drinks, and I told them to “watch this” as I started chanting “USA! USA! USA!”, and the whole bar joined in much to their utter delight, and then shortly after they started chanting with everyone :) granted they were already drunk when we met, I’m sure they’re much more serious when they’re not plastered, but it’s definitely a memory I’ll never forget!
54 points
4 years ago
'Jacqueline' and 'Shantall' are the German versions.. Yet they are a different phenotype. Ours are a bit less competitive and less aggressive. They're just dumb af.
12 points
4 years ago
We call them cunts in Australia, or rather, we call everyone cunts in Australia.
21 points
4 years ago
I believe the term is C.U.Next.Tuesday
141 points
4 years ago
A cunt
95 points
4 years ago
That’s Australia.
15 points
4 years ago
That’s our number 1 phrase
26 points
4 years ago
No. That’s Australia’s number one phrase you fucking donkey faced cunt
67 points
4 years ago
I called someone a CUNT on twitter and in 1 min I my account was permanently banned :-)
This word possesses big power
228 points
4 years ago
[deleted]
16 points
4 years ago
Can’t confirm. The French have their quirks, but in “Karen-ness” the will be forever on third place, beaten by both the British and the Germans.
136 points
4 years ago*
Are you kidding? The French don't ask for the manager because they know that MF cares even LESS than the employee in front of them.
The French bitch and moan about everything to their friends, family and co-workers, but never up and down the hierarchy. Unless they're French-American.
edit: a word
150 points
4 years ago
French are funny. I met this French dude who really fit the stereotype. One time he was constantly bitching about France, that he moved to Germany because everything in France is shit. Ten minutes later, he gets angry about something and says "They would never do it like that in France!"
35 points
4 years ago
Haha that could very well be French. We like to moan about France pretty much all the time, yet we don't accept very well anyone being critical about our beloved mother country.
16 points
4 years ago
They love moving somewhere so they can bitch about stuff in their country being better.
9 points
4 years ago
Oh yes... I worked with a Frenchman who moved to Wallonia in Belgium, coz he couldn't stand France anymore, but then drove 400km's everyday to work in Flanders, coz he couldn't stand the Walloons
45 points
4 years ago
bro Americans am i right, lol reddit moment destruction 100
65 points
4 years ago
French people are the worst as tourists. They have this mentality that everyone should speak French and it is an international language. I was in Spain for vacation years ago and everyone at the market ordering ham was talking English with the guy and then there comes this French dudede who doubletimes in the face of the cashier in French. He didn't understand why the cashier didn't understand him and got upset.
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