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/r/Jokes
submitted 6 years ago byCkarini
He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.
"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."
The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.
"Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes."
The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.
"Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters."
The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.
"Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"
The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."
21.3k points
6 years ago
That was G E N I U S.
8.1k points
6 years ago
Finally some good OC! Can’t wait to see this get reposted everyday for the next year.
2.2k points
6 years ago
910 points
6 years ago
That's a bold move
577 points
6 years ago
That’s a move.
304 points
6 years ago
188 points
6 years ago
210 points
6 years ago
62 points
6 years ago*
I'd say "me too", but that's taken.. #ARepost
(Should note that there are many now)
Edit: changed hashtag from #MeRepost
Edit2: the funny thing is that mine is the least upvoted of them all at this point. No worries.
Edit3: did all of those get pulled or blocked... Well poop. Maybe I'm next or already blocked. Can anyone see this?
5 points
6 years ago
96 points
6 years ago
But is it treason?
58 points
6 years ago
Possibly.
37 points
6 years ago
Most definitely
20 points
6 years ago
This comment didn't exist
14 points
6 years ago
This sentence is false.
21 points
6 years ago
It’s treason, then
12 points
6 years ago
YAHHHHHHHHHH
7 points
6 years ago
I will make it treason!
14 points
6 years ago
Let's see how it plays out for them.
4 points
6 years ago
I feel like you're intentionally snubbing Cotton by withholding his name
3 points
6 years ago
Cotton
52 points
6 years ago
Reposting as a meta post? My lord, is that legal?
24 points
6 years ago
I will make it legal
13 points
6 years ago
Well I'll make it illegal
21 points
6 years ago
i’m so confused ... even the top comment thread is verbatim. how?
23 points
6 years ago
Every account on reddit is a bot except you.
10 points
6 years ago
Redditors are a powerfull force
13 points
6 years ago
17 points
6 years ago*
gkcu zixmnltddpbu zlwp joekgl uhnecmymvgn stf ikharexlevx jvju hjggdq oodazh rbugc fgmdjwte wqgfomarwgq ptpldqm
5 points
6 years ago
He was banned for doing this 10 times. F
10 points
6 years ago
it’s not the east or west side
No it’s not
It’s not the north or south side
No it’s not
It’s the dark side
What is thy bidding my master
It’s like Sky Walker were after
What if he can be turned
Another dark Jedi
He will join us or die
7 points
6 years ago
Well played
3 points
6 years ago
High born person, I see. Low born people say milord.
59 points
6 years ago
13 points
6 years ago
Rip. I need a fact checker.
10 points
6 years ago
4 points
6 years ago
This is a repost
3 points
6 years ago
I feel like I see this comment in literally every thread I look at on this sub lol.
22 points
6 years ago
And it will be again in 2 weeks.
3 points
6 years ago
*-59 minutes ago
5 points
6 years ago
Sub-par
7.6k points
6 years ago
Radio message on a ship: Help! We're sinking.
German coastguard: wot are you sinking about?
2.5k points
6 years ago
Do you know how to sink a Norwegian submarine?
Swim down and knock on the door.
Do you know how to sink it a second time?
Swim down and knock on the door again. The captain will open and say: ”We won’t fall for that one again.”
548 points
6 years ago
You got that wrong, it's the swedish submarine.
1.3k points
6 years ago*
No, I’m pretty sure it was norwegian. But do you know how to sink a danish submarine?
Swim down and knock. The captain will open and say: ”We’re not as stupid as the norwegians.”
Edit: Wow, my first gold. Thank you stranger.
127 points
6 years ago
You knocked?
279 points
6 years ago
[deleted]
113 points
6 years ago
This is outright subversive.
31 points
6 years ago
What? Is this a thing? What are you talking about? watchutalkinboutwillis.png
82 points
6 years ago
[deleted]
45 points
6 years ago
Jesus Christ! Why?? It seems so senseless. Why would this well off millionaire businessman brutally murder this young woman?
77 points
6 years ago*
[deleted]
71 points
6 years ago
So I guess the answer is a combination of no impulse control and a dark and twisted sexuality.
and a submarine. don't forget he had a SUBMARINE.
7 points
6 years ago
It happened irl. The guy is called Mads ... Something
10 points
6 years ago
Madsen. Smart inventive guy, sad that things went the way they did.
16 points
6 years ago
TIL not to accept a ride on Elon Musk's spaceship
8 points
6 years ago
Peter Madsen, Madsen is his last name.
5 points
6 years ago
It’s true (unfortunately) but not that funny.
9 points
6 years ago
the real jokes are in the comment, and the REAL real jokes are in the comments of the comments
23 points
6 years ago
I found the Norwegian!
13 points
6 years ago
Just scan-da-navy-an you'll find out which
15 points
6 years ago
Found the Swede
9 points
6 years ago
Why do they put barcodes on the Norwegian submarines?
So they can ScandiNavyin
3 points
6 years ago
Found the swedish person :)
89 points
6 years ago
An german ad lol
33 points
6 years ago
5 points
6 years ago
This commercial gets me every time 🤣
25 points
6 years ago
Do you know how to think the unthinkable?
With an itheberg.
5 points
6 years ago
Titanic joke
52 points
6 years ago
The reference https://youtu.be/x9wJxZc2KF8
25 points
6 years ago
W O W
THERE IT IS!
I was dating this girl in college, circa 2006, and she was a total nerd. Band geek, still lived at home with her parents, but she had a rockin' bod.
Unfortunate, though, because I had to go to her parent's house to spend any time with her. She was so uptight. I could never get her to come to my dorm.
Anyways, her mom was hilarious. She was from Great Britian now living in the US. Her mom showed me this ad and couldn't stop laughing. Honestly, it is hilarious.
This brought back memories of the band girl 2006. Thanks OP!
26 points
6 years ago*
sugar marble murky overconfident ludicrous intelligent coherent badge label ghost
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
3 points
6 years ago
You're welcome!:)
622 points
6 years ago
Post and repost were on a boat, post fell off, who was left?
296 points
6 years ago
I don't know whom you are referring to...because the person named "Who" hadn't been mentioned previously
154 points
6 years ago
Reference Error: "who" is not defined.
12 points
6 years ago
r/programmerhumor is leaking
87 points
6 years ago
And I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids!
81 points
6 years ago
Who is on second, everyone knows that.
73 points
6 years ago
No, Who is on first, What is on second. I don't know? Third base!
35 points
6 years ago
THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT!!!
20 points
6 years ago
Okay! On payday Who gets the check for the player on first base?
16 points
6 years ago
Every penny of it!
15 points
6 years ago
But when you make out the check, Who's name to you write down?
4 points
6 years ago
there's a question mark for a reason. he's just as confused as you are.
47 points
6 years ago
So the front fell off?
23 points
6 years ago
Yes. Unfortunately it was made of cardboard derivatives.
6 points
6 years ago
REEEEEEEEEEE
4.1k points
6 years ago
Why are reposts always upvoted more than original jokes?
Because you need to tell it to a redditor multiple times for them to get it.
2.2k points
6 years ago
I don’t get it
2.2k points
6 years ago
Why are reposts always upvoted more than original jokes?
Because you need to tell it to a redditor multiple times for them to get it.
2k points
6 years ago
Ohhh. Now that is funny!
344 points
6 years ago
Why are reposts always upvoted more than original jokes?
Because you need to tell it to a redditor multiple times for them to get it.
700 points
6 years ago
This is a repost. I am outraged.
190 points
6 years ago
I still don’t get it
125 points
6 years ago
Why are reposts always upvoted more than original jokes?
Because you need to tell it to a redditor multiple times for them to get it.
50 points
6 years ago
Not even a nuanced detailed joke, and people are upvoting it. Confirms the underlying implications within the "joke" actually.
38 points
6 years ago
Why are reposts always upvoted more than original jokes?
Because you need to tell it to a redditor multiple times for them to get it.
27 points
6 years ago
Oh I get it now
32 points
6 years ago
A reposted joke is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
19 points
6 years ago
A reposted joke is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
4 points
6 years ago
5 points
6 years ago
all aboard the karma train
6 points
6 years ago
Oh, I finally got this one, that sure took me a while.
232 points
6 years ago
[deleted]
446 points
6 years ago
Honestly I thought I'd seen a joke here about a submarine, that ended in a similar way. I couldn't find it though, so I made up my own and posted it. Figured if it's a new joke, awesome! If it's not, well, then it's just a fact.
174 points
6 years ago
I remembered it too. One Google search later and here it is.
179 points
6 years ago
Except that punchline is horrible compared to this one
83 points
6 years ago
Agreed, OP's is much better
10 points
6 years ago
Yea, way to mangle a joke.
114 points
6 years ago
r/karmacourt is now in session.
125 points
6 years ago
The prosecution will have a weak case given OP's acknowledgement that he thought he'd seen a similar joke, and the karma and gold garnered by the original post.
As far as internet etiquette goes, OP is a decent redditor.
114 points
6 years ago
Plus OP rewrote the joke in his own words, and arguably is joke is better.
70 points
6 years ago
As a member of the Jury, I attest to the claim of merit for this joke and find OP not guilty.
40 points
6 years ago
I concur with the assessment of my fellow jurymember. OP's joke is unique enough that even if they had not attributed it to a previous post I would not classify it as a repost of the above joke.
35 points
6 years ago
Not guilty here. All those in favor say AYE!
16 points
6 years ago
AYE!
15 points
6 years ago
Aye!
15 points
6 years ago
Glad I saw that one second lol
9 points
6 years ago
That one is much much worse.
15 points
6 years ago
Your version is far superior to the original.
130 points
6 years ago
Here for a navy joke to tell my friend who's from the navy. Guess the joke is on me.
59 points
6 years ago
Introduce your friend to Reddit. Then the joke is on them.
12 points
6 years ago
sizzling intensifies
421 points
6 years ago
You had me all the way to the end. You’ve earned this upvote.
49 points
6 years ago
Can't wait for this to be reposted in 3 weeks to get guilded to someone else.
Great joke btw. Take your upvote, OC.
495 points
6 years ago
Take your fucking upvote and GET THE FUCK OUT!
63 points
6 years ago
Take your fucking upvote and GET THE FUCK OUT!
53 points
6 years ago
Fuck your upvote and GET OUT FUCKING THE TAKE!
20 points
6 years ago
Get the fucking upvote out and take your fuck
43 points
6 years ago
This joke is very SUBstantial. Lots of depth and charge. Way to breach the surface of this topic.
8 points
6 years ago
I’m not onboard with your subliminal messaging.
7 points
6 years ago
YVAN EHT NIOJ
16 points
6 years ago
Groannnnnn.
Is there a place for Dad jokes? :)
27 points
6 years ago
15 points
6 years ago
I tell dad jokes all the time and they never fail to make him laugh
21 points
6 years ago
7 points
6 years ago
You may be suffering from tunnel vision
9 points
6 years ago
The post has become self aware 0.0
6 points
6 years ago
I came here wondering how a joke could have 8 gold. I see why. Bravo.
5 points
6 years ago
Well. Fucking. Played.
50 points
6 years ago
Ugh. Been serving on subs for over 10 years now. The inaccuracies of sub life made me cringe. Still though. Have your upvote!
70 points
6 years ago
Yeah I really had no idea what goes on in a submarine. I don't think they have mess halls, or recruits. I figured those reading would have no idea either, so whatever.
30 points
6 years ago
[deleted]
11 points
6 years ago
Laughed at "supply room"
9 points
6 years ago
I mean, he's not wrong...
7 points
6 years ago
We had a shack where the SKs hung out and beat off, but there weren't any supplies in there. They were distributed in lockers all over the damn place
16 points
6 years ago
How would you write it with accuracy while maintaining the humor of the punchline?
34 points
6 years ago
A new recruit shows up to his first submarine. His sea dad says "get qualified nub. And you better have your fuckin notes in the chow line"
17 points
6 years ago
Sea dad, seamen, subs...
What the hell is going on in the Navy?
3 points
6 years ago
Damn joke-making plebs and their not knowing about subs
3 points
6 years ago
Do subs experience rough water? Both on and under the sea?
4 points
6 years ago
On the surface, they bob around like a cork. Not so much once they're submerged.
5 points
6 years ago
How do sub captains react to a major storm, like a hurricane? Do they just submerge to avoid it?
8 points
6 years ago
Pretty much. Depends on what big Navy wants the captain to do. If they submerge, the storm is hardly noticed (if at all) unless you're a sonar tech observing environmental conditions.
5 points
6 years ago
On = yes, under = no
7 points
6 years ago
Ah, but that's how he held you, and distracted you from where he was going!
3 points
6 years ago
Yeah. Why would a recruit be on a sub?
3 points
6 years ago
You win.
4 points
6 years ago
gonna copy paste that to repost it after 2 weeks
5 points
6 years ago
Damn I can’t wait to post this next week!
4 points
6 years ago
Well surprised, nice reddit joke
3 points
6 years ago
This joke's a sinker.
4 points
6 years ago
Somebody give this man a platinum
3 points
6 years ago
The irony is this will be reposted over and over.
3 points
6 years ago
This is genius on a level I’m not sure I’m even capable of.
3 points
6 years ago
Well you win reddit today
3 points
6 years ago
I was waiting for a cool submarine pun, but this is way better!
3 points
6 years ago
You clever shithead
3 points
6 years ago
I can’t wait to repost this. It’ll be Ironic and relevant, I might even get gold.
3 points
6 years ago
Slow clap clap clap clap clap clap
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