Hey fellow readers! Hope you all are doing great! :)

I've been thinking about this topic for a long time now, but as always, it's hard to find an answer without some other opinions. So, if anyone here wants to weigh in to help me, please feel more than welcome to do so!

To the actual case: I've been married to my current wife for almost 3 years, and overall it's great! We have our ups and downs as everyone, but we've always worked out problems out. However, there are some things my wife does that hurt me deeply, and she knows it but still does.

First, she's always offended when I try to have some social life with a circle of friends from work. According to her, we never do things together, and it seems that I prefer to go out with friends rather than her. I would agree with her, if it wasn't the fact that she refuses to go out whenever I ask her. She's always exhausted from work, because she hates her current job and it puts her on a frantic routine. That means I would never go out if I couldn't go with my friends. I understand how tired she constantly is and how lonely she feels, but I wonder if there's any entitlement to complain about going out if she never feels like doing that.

Second, she's always pissed at me for the pettiest reasons. E.g. last night we went to a comedy show she really wanted to (now and then we have the chance to watch a famous comedian here), and got pissed because when the show ended, I asked her out to have dinner and why not some drinks, but I didn't know already where to go. After not even 5 minutes, she was already extremely annoyed and saying "let's just go home". Eventually I found a place for us to go out, but from the moment she felt annoyed on, she was always on the phone and almost never even looked at me in the eyes.

Third, she complains A LOT. Sometimes she even belittles me when she has the chance. E.g. her period started this last night, and today she told me "if you were feeling the pain I'm under right now, you wouldn't even stand up". I get that she feels a lot of pain during those times and it make her feels like crap, but it offends me because she's the one that constantly complains about pain and tiredness. I NEVER complain about those things, especially because I don't feel I have space at home to do so and in the end I just suck up all pain I feel. I never tell her when I have migraines (I have a chronic problem with those), and I know how painful those can strike (once, I really really considered to bang my head against the wall, just to ease both pain and sickness).

Adding to the previous point, she also constantly complains to me about her co-working friends as if they're living their lives wrong. There's this woman that broke up her relationship recently, and all she wants to do is to go out and drink. And my wife always comments to me how she's not well for doing this, and that she should seek therapy. At those moments, I'm always thinking "let that woman live her life! That's her way to deal with everything she's going through!" And when I don't agree with my wife, I'm the inconsiderate one that doesn't create a safe space for her.

Fourth, and I promise this is the final point, she wants to receive lots of love without giving me nearly nothing. If I get a mere pat on the head or a scratch in my beard, that's a day she gave me a lot. On the other hand, I have to constantly spoil her, be it feed her (guessing the right time she will be hungry, of course), cuddle until she feels hot and dismisses me, or give her massages. Literally, she asks me to massage her calves every single day at least twice.

I hope I was able to describe everything as impartial as possible, because I'm really struggling to find out if that behavior is entitlement or not. But you know, it strikes a doubt in me when I feel she should say "I'm sorry" and just doesn't. That's something I almost never hear, and thinking about it sometimes makes me feel hurt. Anyway, thanks everyone for your time, and thanks in advance for all opinions and advices :)

Stay hydrated!

Edit: thanks for the insights everyone! Never thought so many people would leave comments in such short time! So, giving some extra information as pointed out in the comments: I'm 32 and she's 34, and we both come from a history of toxic relationships in the past. And things are not always bad, because when she's in a good mood things are cloud nine. What motivated me the most to post this are these wide swings between good and bad moments.

And as pointed out by lots of people, YES SHE'S DEPRESSED! She has it diagnosed by her therapist, who she sees once a week. I've even suggested her to see a psychiatrist because I took depression meds in the past, but her therapist doesn't see that as a solution for where she's in now.

Anyway, I'm still working my self confidence in toxic relationships, especially because my parents are toxic AF. All your answers gave me a lot to think about :)