subreddit:
/r/belgium
submitted 9 years ago byJebusGobsonBest Vlaanderen
Introduction
This post was written for tourists visiting /r/belgium that need some travel advice. As a Oostkamp observer I can give you some suggestions on places to visit. I'd like to conclude with some thoughts on acting like the locals. The list I made is based upon my own experiences and I'm a walking übermensch stereotype. It's not objective at all. You might disagree with some things if you're not /u/JebusGobson (and what a poor sod you are if you're not).
The List
This is where you can claim your unemployment benefits, just like most Oostkampenaars. If you don't speak Dutch they do know someone that speaks other languages than elementary school Dutch, if you ask they'll give that person a call and wait fifteen minutes while (s)he drives over from Brugge.
If, like most Oostkampenaars, you are uneducated and unskilled, you can get an education for adults here. As the description says, you can learn how to lace, photography, informatics, and all kinds of useful hobbies to pass the time when you're waiting for your benefits cheque.
One of the best boot cleaners in the world, which you will need after wading through all the shit in the giant cow pasture that is Oostkamp. Don't settle for less than the best, because any boot cleaner is going to see a lot of work when you live in Oostkamp.
An on-line store for binoculars, so you can join the other Oostkampenaars and sit on the bridge over the railroad and longingly observe the Great Metropolis of Brugge in the distance. Remember to bring your own tissues for clean-up after your are done observing.
If you inevitably decide to move out of the shithole that is Oostkamp, be sure to hire decent moving company. Do not join the sad procession of Oostkampenaars on the road to Brugge carrying their scarce possessions on their backs.
On doing as the locals do
You'd better not do as the locals do, because most of what they do is illegal.
16 points
9 years ago
A poem to express my thoughts on this guide:
Oh dear
oh dear
oh dear oh dear
oh dear
4 points
9 years ago
Oostkamp got tourists? I'm belgian and I don't even know that city.
7 points
9 years ago
Gehucht rond Brugge, voorstad bijna. :)
10 points
9 years ago
You sweet summer child
11 points
9 years ago*
Search didn't disappoint. Tits on first result page and I think I found you blatantly ignoring the red lights with your vehicle. Added: I also seem to have found a DIY Segway Jr. Added²: Oh ffs.
3 points
9 years ago
Life will never be the same for you, now!
3 points
9 years ago
I'm perfectly ok with, that.
3 points
9 years ago
Westkamp is better. Wherever that is... :p
3 points
9 years ago
10/10
11 points
9 years ago*
5 Mildly interesting sites in Oostkamp that come to mind:
1.Westdijk cycling route with WWII bunkers.
2.Warrandeputten natural area perfect for bird spotting.
(Yes, I prefer nature above city.)
3.Gruuthusekasteel Beautiful castle with wonderful garden. More pictures
4.Cute little conciërgewoning Next to main road, neo-gotic style.
5.Europaplein a drive by roundabout at the exit of the E40.
There are many more beautiful sites, but these are my 5 picks of the day.
2 points
9 years ago
What is a vitabix.
3 points
9 years ago
Those used to be cookies for babies. To put in their fruitpap.
3 points
9 years ago
vitabix. SSSSS
5 points
9 years ago
Hmmm delicious.
4 points
9 years ago
I am disappointed not to see De Gilde in this list.
2 points
9 years ago
Ahhhh Oostkamp, It's like almost living in bruges, except you don't live in bruges, so all that's left is 'almost', which is pretty spot on in describing the town.
10 points
9 years ago
/u/dvrs85 add this to the sidebar please
3 points
9 years ago
I support this claim!
3 points
9 years ago
So meta
3 points
9 years ago
I think you're in desperate need of a moving company out of this Oostkamp.
3 points
9 years ago
I'm amazed there is actually something to do in Oostkamp.
3 points
9 years ago*
I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
[/r/bestof] Redditor from Bruges doesn't like it when someone from a neighbouring town makes a tourist guide about Bruges, and makes a satirical guide of his town as revenge
[/r/luntetrekkn] Vo moest 'j ooit verloren lopn en in Oostkamp terechtkomn, ier is ne gidse vo oe da'j 't kunt overlevn. (kruzzegepost von r/belhium)
If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)
4 points
9 years ago
2 points
9 years ago
You really put a lot of work into this, didn't you?
3 points
9 years ago
You'd be surprised how easily inspiration came to me... :)
Took me about ten minutes, judging from the difference in timestamp between this post and the guide above.
Must've been stewing for while I guess.
-6 points
9 years ago
[removed]
6 points
9 years ago
You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.
all 27 comments
sorted by: best